Today's amusements brought to you by the letters LOL
and textsfromlastnight.com.
Observe:
(970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss
(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that
(They totally do. You can set it to vibrate. .... I can see that look!)
(240): Banned from zoo.
(301): Again?
(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It just goes ON like this....I am laughing like a LOON. Ohmygod my *abs* ow.
Observe:
(970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss
(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that
(They totally do. You can set it to vibrate. .... I can see that look!)
(240): Banned from zoo.
(301): Again?
(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It just goes ON like this....I am laughing like a LOON. Ohmygod my *abs* ow.