its been so long
when was the last time i actually visited my own blog? i can't even remember.. i bet there's almost nobody reading this page right now.. i can't even remember most of your blog URLs as well..
to be frank, i feel so much out of touch to this world despite now being outside of camp. maybe it was the 9months in there that killed all the social cells in me. and also perhaps, this fatal word, commitment.
right now commitments are so filling up my life. family, work and this girl of mine.
not complaining but i really wish i could have some time on my own sometimes.
i guess its only right that i actually finally do an update on this page that has been left to dust since so long ago.
and frankly speaking, i miss you guys who actually kept track of my blog and stuff. but the me now has since changed so much that i myself have yet to recognize the me now or even define what is the me now. so far after being out of camp, i feel like i've been living for other people rather than for me myself. been trying to suit to other people's expectations and behaviors and forgetting about my own.
my job? to be a selfless person when work requires of me. tell me that i should be living for myself and i'd probably say that there is no longer a me for myself to look after anymore.
now to fulfill my duties as a son, law enforcer and a boyfriend, i guess i had dumped away the feelings and the things that i'd wanted to make me happy. you could say that i am living off other people's happiness.
but sometimes, in order to fulfill of what my work requires of me, i have to sacrifice other people's happiness, future and family amongst other things. it may look cool to many people, but with every click of that fateful metal, i feel like i've forever changed the life of another person.
we're not god, so who are we to change a person's life as according to the law that we have made and applied? frankly, sometimes i hate the feeling of sacrificing someone for my job. but then again, i can't wait till i've been bitten before doing anything sometimes.
to those who are still reading this page, please leave a comment preferably with your blog URL with it.
oh, add me on MSN as well. hck.jeremy@live.com.sg
to be frank, i feel so much out of touch to this world despite now being outside of camp. maybe it was the 9months in there that killed all the social cells in me. and also perhaps, this fatal word, commitment.
right now commitments are so filling up my life. family, work and this girl of mine.
not complaining but i really wish i could have some time on my own sometimes.
i guess its only right that i actually finally do an update on this page that has been left to dust since so long ago.
and frankly speaking, i miss you guys who actually kept track of my blog and stuff. but the me now has since changed so much that i myself have yet to recognize the me now or even define what is the me now. so far after being out of camp, i feel like i've been living for other people rather than for me myself. been trying to suit to other people's expectations and behaviors and forgetting about my own.
my job? to be a selfless person when work requires of me. tell me that i should be living for myself and i'd probably say that there is no longer a me for myself to look after anymore.
now to fulfill my duties as a son, law enforcer and a boyfriend, i guess i had dumped away the feelings and the things that i'd wanted to make me happy. you could say that i am living off other people's happiness.
but sometimes, in order to fulfill of what my work requires of me, i have to sacrifice other people's happiness, future and family amongst other things. it may look cool to many people, but with every click of that fateful metal, i feel like i've forever changed the life of another person.
we're not god, so who are we to change a person's life as according to the law that we have made and applied? frankly, sometimes i hate the feeling of sacrificing someone for my job. but then again, i can't wait till i've been bitten before doing anything sometimes.
to those who are still reading this page, please leave a comment preferably with your blog URL with it.
oh, add me on MSN as well. hck.jeremy@live.com.sg