Crazy random happenstance (RP for reporter_chloe)
This is for the 'verse with likely_evil and horsewoman_lana and I have no idea atm where it will end up, so.Dean was out for a normal food run, driving from the motel to the diner a few miles back the interstate. Not that they were starving yet, but hey, it wasn't a bad idea to have some fresh(er) food to supplement the dry stuffs in the room, for whenever they were ready
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Nebraska was the last place Chloe had wanted to be tonight.
But one of she and Lana's kids from Isis had gotten into some big trouble the day before, and had called, begging for help. It had been Chloe who had driven the distance, and ultimately helped out the troubled teen.
And now, she was headed down the road, on the lookout for a hotel she could pop in for the night. So far, she had yet to see any.
Her cell phone seemed to ring out of the blue, and it surprised her, and made her fumble when she answered.
She recognized his voice instantly, and when she glanced up, she saw what looked a lot like the Impala following along behind her. She closed the phone, and as she pulled her car over to the side of the road, she felt her heart skip a beat.
She hadn't heard from him for weeks, over a month, really, and she'd been worried. And of course, Lana seemed to be being secretive about everything, just saying that it was their "jobs", or whatever.
She was out of the car in an instance, turning toward the Impala. And when she saw him, her eyes were wide.
"Oh, my God."
She wanted to run to him, to embrace him, but she didn't. She stayed, frozen in place, waiting for him to make a move.
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Bit of a smile, bit of a swagger, bit of acting, as per usual, as if nothing big was wrong. Some habits die hard. Including covering up that he'd called her on reflex, and right now he wasn't sure what he wanted to say.
Yeah, Dean Winchester could be quite a bit of a jerk sometimes. What else was new?
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But, as the case was, this was serious, and that's all that showed on her face, as she moved to stand in front of him.
"Not pissed off... Dean, where have you... been? I thought you were... I was afraid you were..."
She couldn't say it. The word wouldn't leave her mouth. There was no way in hell she was going to say that word. There was no way she was ever going to associate that word. She couldn't. Ever. She didn't even want to think about it. That should have told her something, but it didn't. Or, well, at least not anything she'd be willing to admit.
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So staying out of touch was basically a better idea than otherwise.
His eyes narrowed down as she seemed to be tensing up still, rather than relaxing. "You're... you were really worried, weren't you."
Let's say that somebody to worry for him, or even more, miss him? Kinda strange concept for Dean Winchester.
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"I... I was, Dean. And I... I still am." She took a deep breath. "I... I need to know what's going on here, Dean. There's... I feel like there's a lot at stake here. Lana is head over heels for Sam, and she's probably knee-deep in this by now, and I... I... care about you. Maybe you didn't want me to, but I do. I do, and I'm... scared for you, because I'm beginning to think there's a lot you're not telling me." She tilted her head as she looked up at him, and suddenly realized they were close enough that she could probably reach out and touch him. But she held back.
She chewed on her bottom lip nervously before speaking again. "Let... let me in, Dean. I need you to let me in."
[ooc: I'm sorry if it's too much... she insisted. lol]
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He'd probably known that. Hell, he'd knowing that since she showed up in the hospital in Cheyenne. Not that he'd admitted to himself then, not that he'd admit it now.
"That's... not a good idea." It wasn't even whether he wanted her or now. "Pain and heartbreak lie that way, and don't I sound dramatic." Except that it was plain truth.
He ran a hand over his face, forced himself to look up at her, then... back down. "You don't want in. It's nasty, it's fugly, and the worst part is that there's didly squat to do about any of the crap right now. And knowing..." Now he did look up, eyes bearing into hers. He means that. "Knowing alone can put you in danger."
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A single movement, and her face was close to his. She knew he meant what he said. But so does she.
"I'm already in danger, Dean." she whispered. She was already in danger, because she has the distinct feeling that Lana was right, even if she didn't want to admit it. There was a high chance that she was falling in love with Dean Winchester.
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"I can give you stuff... to at least somewhat protect yourself. Or hide yourself. Because you can't really unlearn what I tell you, if I do. And you're likely to want to."
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She almost wanted to cry when his hand touched her face, and it probably showed. It was the most intimate moment ever had between them, far more intimate than the sex had been.
"I'd never hide myself from you, Dean. Ever. I..." She trailed off, and looked down. She couldn't say that. She couldn't say something she wasn't even sure she meant, and it wasn't something she should ever say to him. She couldn't love him. She shouldn't love him. But wouldn't? She wasn't so sure about that one.
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"Hey." Easier voice. "I didn't mean hiding from me. From what's after me and Sam and can and would screw with you just to get to me."
Truth was, Dean Winchester did not like making people cry. Especially women. Another reason why it usually was a one-off with him, and a one-off that he made sure girls knew would be a one off. Nobody upset, nobody hurt. Good times had by all.
Except things were more complicated here already. "What I mean is, I can give you stuff and teach you how to hide yourself from those kinda things. For your protection and for mine. You don't need to know the details, they're kinda the things that might give you nightmares. And you wouldn't want that, right?"
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Her head rose slowly, and she looked into his eyes again.
"I have nightmares every day, Dean." she said, and it was the truth. Every day, she had nightmares about losing the people she loved, about her powers taking her life, about her powers driving her insane, as her mother's powers had done to her. "I have nightmares about death and pain and losing everything that means anything to me. It can't get any worse than that." She swallowed hard, and then made a brave and slightly bold statement. "And you know what? It's worth the risk, Dean. I think you're worth the risk."
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"No, I'm not." The words were very quiet, but very certain. Not a revelation or sudden insight - just something he knew. Because Dean's nightmares were mostly memories of what he had done, rather than thoughts of what might happen. His actual deeds and their consequences were way, way worse than his nightmares had used to be.
Then he frowned slightly, focusing on her, hugging her a little closer. "Hey. Care to elaborate on why all those nightmares? Unless really bad shit's happened, most people don't get that kind of regularity in those kinda dreams..."
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"You are..." she whispered, and trailed off when she realized just how hard her heart was pounding. It was like a big trip-hammer in her chest.
She took a deep breath, and felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Smallville... it's... a lot weirder than you think, Dean. Bad things can happen there... bad people live there. Those people and those things could take everything I love away in an instant. And I... I'm not exactly the girl you think I am, Dean." She lowered her head, and couldn't believe she was actually telling him the truth. "I'm... different. Death and pain... I feel it. More than the average person. I've almost lost everything before... I've lost my life, even." She slowly looked back up at him. "Those meteor-infected people that Lana and I try so hard to help? Well... I'm one of them."
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Dean opened his mouth to argue, then she went on talking and he just... listened. Didn't pull away, didn't turn away - though at one point he did run his hand over his face, features ... strained a little - strained not because of her proximity, but for things like she implied happening at all.
"We knew it was weird. But if it's so bad..." ... why do you stay there? He frowned, then his arm shifted to wrap around her shoulders. Just because it seemed an appropriate thing. "If you feel it more than others, I wonder what you feel around me." How she could even stand being close to him, considering the decades of pain, one he'd felt and one he'd caused, lying upon his shoulders as a mantle. Considering the deaths he'd made happen or hadn't managed to stop; and the death... or deaths he'd been through or too-narrowly avoided.
"Y'know. Maybe we should go somewhere that we can... sit down and talk." Rather than out in the open, standing upright by the cars. Somewhere with some privacy, for example. "Back when Lana told me about that, I asked her about you, y'know. She didn't answer. I guess I kinda... guessed."
He swallowed, then did ask, "just... to make sure I haven't misunderstood. You did say you've... died?"
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She bit her lip, and found her hand reaching up to touch his cheek. "That day I came to you, in the hospital... I could have healed you right there. I wanted to... You could have walked out of the hospital that night and never looked back. But there would have been too many questions, and I was too scared to tell you my secret." She sniffled and she shook her head. "And the strangest thing is... I've never been able to feel someone's pain without touching them before, but... sometimes when I'm with you... I can feel yours. I can feel that something is hurting you, that you've been through a lot more than what you've told me. And it's the kind of pain I can't heal, no matter how much I wish I could."
Her nerves were a jumble, as her emotions seemed to explode out of her. The tears had finally come, her voice was weak, and she was just about trembling in his arms. It was all amplified, so much more than it probably would have been normally. And she wasn't lying. Even now, she could detect an ache in him. Of course, the look on his face helped a lot with that.
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Between what she could do, what had happened to her, what she'd chosen to do; it was a flood of information, conclusions, reactions that he had no idea whatsoever how to handle. It would probably take a while to figure them out.
What he did know was that she was upset, crying, shivering, and they were standing up, in the sunlight. Which...
He turned his head to see if the door he was leaning against was locked; then he shifted them just enough to be able to open it, then moved to have Chloe sit down on the back seat, carefully making sure she didn't hit her head or anything. Possibly legs still outside; but at least off her feet, and out of the sun.
"There's just too much of it." Pain, though he'd probably not acknowledge that's what he was referring to. The explanation why she could still feel it. Even if his body was in great shape and everything, the pain was always there. Shame, guilt, memory of physical torture that made his muscles convulse, and those that made his mind shy away, whether he was receiving and causing it.
Or maybe too much to comprehend all at once.
"Is it easier... if you're not touching me?" If she could feel pain with touch, it was a question that made sense, to him. When touching him, possibly she could feel it more. Or something.
He crouched before her, and for a moment hid his face behind his palm, then said quietly, slowly. "I'm... I'm not like that. I've no powers. Just normal... Well, no Joe the Plumber, but..." A deep breath, and he looked up at her, to watch her face as he said the next bit, though not quite daring to meet her eyes. "I was... I died on May second... last year. And then came back. On September eighteenth." Since mentioning duration was another topic altogether.
And as to waking up in a pine box six feet under... Well, if she wouldn't make that connection, he wouldn't suggest it to her.
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