RP logs: Dean spaz (old logs)
Pam's mun: Iii'm goign to write about Pam talking to Max.
Me: I can imagine Sam being very glad about that
NOT
Sam's stopped swearing by now?
Dean: *just raises his beer in Sam's direction as kind-of salute and much-of thank you *
Sam: *takes a long, long drink, sort of a wry look Dean's way *
Dean: *wry too * I tried to ... talk her out of it.
That.... thing. Azazel. No... no memory of it should be brought back that isn't here anyway
Sam: Yeah. And, what do you want to bet most of those people are in hell anyway.
Dean: *shakes his head * I don't think so. He wasn't bidding for their... your... souls. Or you'd have had a taste of hell yourself, bro. *shakes his head *
Sam: I don't mean that. Just what they did. What a lot of those kids did. Max was a murderer. Ava... *shivers *
Dean: He didn't want your souls. He wanted... who you might become. *sighs * The kid was a killer, but I am not sure about murderer. He was freaked out to the sky and... *sighs * I don't know. And Ava... All I know is what I've learned from you. But she yeah. She made a choice. Me or them...
Sam: She played his game. She played his way, and she got a taste for it. She liked it.
5:03 PM me: Dean: *bows his head, because that's... that doesn't sound good at all *
*drops his head, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes because, god. she was o scared and so sweet at first and then... a killer *
Dean: *arm around his shoulders * You couldn't know, Sam. If we'd had any way to get there earlier, we would've gotten her out. But we had no clue.
Sam: *one hand rubbing his forehead, still looking down * Yeah...
Dean: I don't need to rub in the example and point out about learning from others' mistakes, right?
Sam: *winces * No, Dean, Thanks, I think I got it.
Dean: Didn't think you'd miss it... but *small shrug *
Sam: I'm being careful.
Good. But anyway. I still think that's a bad idea, trying to use Pamela so.
Sam: It's a fucking stupid idea. She's not going to get anything from the ghosts, and if she goes any deeper she'll ... whatever.
Dean: You think there's still chance to talk Pam or Her out of it?
Sam: *wry * They're starting now.
Dean: COME ON! WHY do you need that all for?!
Pam's mun: (Was that to me or Pam?)
Me: (both?)
(more to you, I think)
Pam's mun: What?
Dean: Why do you need to pull Pamela through that? Which you know that will be useless until there's anything revealed in canon, and by then ... I fear to think what might have happened to her.
Well, I don't have to finish it until we've gotten something in canon. and the information doesn't have to be correct.
It'd be nice if it was, and I can extrapolate, but.
Dean: And you don't care about what happens to Pam and her mind. Sanity. Whatever.
She'll be all right.
Dean: Will she. Some here have seen how 'all right' things might get over there.
You want I should start thinking on what Sammy's getting up to with Ruby instead? Or how he felt in those four months youw ere gone?
(Sam: "Dear Mun. Fuck you. Sam.")
Dean: I'll get told about that anyway. Or get shown. What-the-fuck-ever. In about, oh, five weeks.
(maybe I should get Dean drugged? He's in just generally such a foul mood as I've rarely seen him. *stares at muse * )
We'll see.
And Pam's a big girl. She can make her own decisions.
Dean: Yeah, as though she'd have gotten any chance of that liking for Castiel if you didn't have a crush on the sucker.
(Dean. BEHAVE dammit)
You'd be surprised.
Dean: Neither of you'd have been talking much with him.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Besides, you could always do something about it.
Dean: Oh yeah. Like anybody ever listens to me. Feel like a broken record repeating shit over and over again. *shrugs *
... nice. Very nice.
Dean: Yeah. That's me.
Got anything else you want to say to Sam, Cassie, or Pamela?
Dean: Maybe.
Might as well spit it out, then.
Dean: Cassie, you made the right choice. Pamela... Please. Just don't. And Sam... I'm still not going anywhere.
Right, then.
I'd ask what makes you think any of them are going to listen to you now, since you just said no one listens to anything you say.
But that would be mean.
Dean: I don't know if they will. I may hope, but *shrugs * I'm starting to think that's just not enough.
You need therapy.
Dean: Yeah, I've been told that before.
*sighs *
(yeah, tell me about it.)
(Pam and Cassie are both... not quite up to really pissed at him yet. But irritated.)
(Pam especially. Sam is torn between wanting to throttle him hard and worrying.)
(... how would things change if I say my part which he would MUCH rather I didn't. "My tear ducts. For me. Especially at work." ?)
(It might soften it a bit. Not much.)
(Just because he worries when they do shit anyway doesn't mean they aren't listening. Or paying attention.)
(of course it doesn't. Especially Cassie and Sam, even though... well Canon Cassie did have her time of not believing him at the very least. And Sam is... Sam. Big brother - love admiration wants to be like him and then brother issues... But Dean is just generally freaking out and breaking down. Full jerk-whatever-it-doesn't-matter-what-I-do-say mode which I'm just witnessing for the first time but kinda matches a few of the moments in the show.)
(*sighs * Yeah. I can't think of any offhand but it is really familiar. I don't suppose Pam slugging him one would help. Or telling him that if he started courting Pam it might take her off the angel romance he dislikes so much.)
(we're talking about the man who saw first-hand just how fucked up his family and all those connected to it is? )
(Cassie is less inclined to try to actually tell him anything although she wonders if fighting with him would get him through it quicker.)
(Yeah.)
(... which, cue Cassie ... just. Ow. Ow ow ow.)
(the chance of him encouraging any kind of emotional attachment at the moment is lower than this enthusiasm for returning to hell, and that's low )
(That's depressing.)
Pam: *sighs, slings an arm around Cassie's shoulders * Come on, kiddo. Let's go grab a beer. *glaring at Dean over her shoulder *
Dean: *looks after them, not moving, face set. At least while they're doing that, it's unlikely that they'll be looking for things that will be really dangerous. *
Sam: *just stares at Dean * You're a fucking jerk sometimes.
Dean: Very true.
Sam: ... *suddenly thinking of something * And a hypocrite.
Dean: Oh?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: *shrugs *
Sam: *just... irritated. to no end, shakes hs head, heads after the girls *
(Sarah is apparently welcome to join them if she wants.)
(Yeah, she would.)
(Sam: Cranky hypocrite boy is not invited.)
(And that invitation of Sarah is from Sam. Which. Huh.)
(heh. maybe he's just scared to leave her with Dean like that.)
(Doesn't seem like it. He's not scared or anything, just... irritated.)
Sam: *leans over between the girls, buys the first round *
(You know. I think he would wait enough to make sure they don't pay attention, then follow and stay outside. Just to make sure that they're not hunted in turn. Yeah, Morgan + bad memories. But he doesn't want to join them. Wouldn't even be looking at them. Just ... scanning around)
(Thaaaat just pisses Sam off more. And makes him worry more.)
(sounds about right, yes.)
(At least he's loosening up about flirting with Sarah?)
(yeah. She might even get to typing when the jerk stops bleeding all over me)
(he's like a cannon going of again and again in my head)
(Sam is temporarily done with trying to pick him up.)
(He's going to go out with the girls, get a little toasted, have a good time, relax.)
('s all right. As long as they're safe, that's fine.)
(Or try to, anyway.)
(How relaxed he can be with his brother wandering around out there ACTING LIKE A FUCKING MORON [yelling is his] he's not sure.)
Pam: one hand on Sam's shoulder * Hey. He'll come in when he's ready to come in. *gently/quietly Castiel may have dragged his body out of hell but his mind's still stuck there until he's ready to come out. It sucks, but there isn't much you can do about it that you aren't doing already.
Sarah: *hand on his arm, in turn * He's worried out of his wits. But ... at least he's not full-on self-destructive. He hasn't even thought about going to try and find something to hunt on his own. Though woe to whatever might find him tonight.
Sam: *shoulders very tight, white-knuckle grip on the bottle, nods slightly * He just... I can't believe ... *sighs, drinks * I can't believe he said that. That he thinks that.
Pam: He doesn't think that, he feels it. Small but distinct difference.
Sarah: No, thinking isn't... he has thought through things a lot over the last few days, and just immediately none of it seems to make any difference. Right now, he isn't thinking. But he feels like he's bad news to everything and everybody around him. *meets Sam's eyes for a moment, then looks back down to have a drink *
Sam: *sort of winces at that, looks down * Still haven't made up my mind about that. But this... this isn't the answer.
Sarah: No, it isn't. He'll realize he needs an answer rather than tantrums. Eventually. I think.
Sam: *snorts * I hope. *takes a drink, glances over at Cassie * Before he does something he'll really regret.
Sarah: At one time I thought he never got to regret anything, never apologize. Now I think he just regrets everything anyway. Not that he'll let anyone know. I thought you were the one wrapped up in a shell, but either he always was in one, or... he has a big thick one with hard thorns on the inside now. Adding that - and I still think it's archaic! - need or want to protect everybody... He doesn't think anything does reach out. But maybe it's him who's not trying enough.
Cassie: He's not trying. He's not trying at all, because he doesn't want to be hurt when bad things happen. As if bad things couldn't happen anyway whether or not ... *sighs, drinks *
Sam: *sort of glances at Cassie, winces, glances at Sarah, takes a drink *
Sarah: I am not sure he believes anything you can do, while you're all right - or we, I suppose. Anything we can do can hurt him. Just what might be done to us that he can't stop. He's wrong.
Sam: *shakes his head slightly * I don't know who's right anymore, but this... *gestures in the direction his brother hopefully is * This isn't right. This isn't the right thing, I know that much.
Sarah: *small shrug* Flinging words that come from being upset rarely is.
Sam: I'm... sorry.
Sarah: *hand on his arm, warm and light * This isn't your fault. *softly * I won't say 'start listening to him' because nobody has stopped. *small smile at Cassie and Pam too * He will realize again that nobody around him has a weak will. Nobody who's willing to do anything about the whole... war can be.
Pam: *snorts * And no one who's spent any time around the Winchesters, either. *grins at Sam *
Sarah: *small shrug, smile under lashes * That, too.
Sam: *sheepish smile, laughs, pulls Sarah in for a tight hug and a shy kiss *
Sarah: *oh this is nice. soft kiss back, fingers on his temple, arm around him, gently *
Sam: *... it really is, and it sort of makes him wonder why he didn't get here before, but. he was thinking the way Dean was. and now he's just thinking how nice it feels to be here, cradling her, kissing her*
(ahahaha brothers switching roles ftw)
Pam: *glances over, smirks just a little, goes back to her beer and keeping an eye on Cassie *
(Yep!)
Sarah: *after ... enough time * Hmm next time I'll try your brand of beer. Tastes good. *winks *
Sam: *grins * Maybe it's not the beer. *teasing, relaxing! wow! *
Sarah: You think? Then we may have to repeat the experiment later again. Maybe you're right. *what, arms around somebody he cares about, warm eyes looking up at him with a sparkle in them and just taking a break from it all? Good! Relaxing is following the doctor's orders. ;) *
Sam: I'm all about repeatable experiments. *mock-serious look, nods * Scientific method and all.
Sarah: *eyes wide, eyebrows up * I was in the arts. Maybe you should tell me more about that...
Sam: ... actually, I was pre-law, so I'm not much better off than you are. *sheepish grin *
Sarah: Ah-hah. *small shrug, which. Makes things to the cleavage? * Then we could learn together.
Dean's not gonna like this.
I don't think he's liking all that much at all these days, his own actions and words and conclusions included
Pam: *claps a hand over Cassie's mouth before she says anything *
eh, let her speak
Cassie: What, the conclusion that he's being a jerkass?
I don't think that's news to him
Cassie: Yeah, well. Better not be.
Hey, we're talking about somebody whose default mode of thought of himself right now ranges from loser to failure to possibly at times monster for letting some things happen
jerkass? very definitely ground he's covered
Cassie: *... just.. turns around and storms off/flees *
Sam: ....??
Pam: *sighs, goes after her *
Dean: *swallows when he sees her going out and follows * Cassie?
Cassie: *is crying/mumbling into Pam's shoulder *
Pam: *holds, listening, mostly, holding her tight *
Sam: *grabs Dean's arm * That... might not be such a good idea.
Dean: I promised her... no excuses. Whatever she has to tell me, I've earned it.
(Who the hell is that and why are they so angry at Dean? *eyes the back of her brain*)
Sam: I don't think she knows what she wants to say to you. But she's really upset.
(somebody who recognizes his/herself?)
Dean: Yeah, I'm real good at that. But I could try to clean up my own mess, I guess. Whatever... else, she doesn't deserve my silence. Or ignoring her.
Sam: ...and you're deciding this now? *sighs, lets him go though *
Dean: I don't think it goes against anything I've said before. *looks up to meet his brother's eyes for a moment, then goes on to Cassie and Pam *
Cassie: *is still sniffling all over Pam's shoulder *
Pam: *is talking quietly * ... always hope. Even if it's hard to find. *beat * _Really_ hard to find. Even among ourselves.
Dean: *quiet, voice tight * Cassie?
Cassie: *lifts her head, making a valiant attempt to stop blubbering and it mostly works, though her face is still wet *
Pam: *steps back, away, with a hard look at Dean *
Dean: *Pam's look registers but doesn't impress. His eyes are on Cassie, and they're just... tired. Sad for having done to make her like this. Arms reach a bit, but he knows better than touching a woman without her permission. Even more so, Cassie. And right now he's not sure she wants him to either. ... not that he's sure in anything whatsoever * *after a moment of searching for words * What I said back there was unfair to you. Not in the least because I've not spoken all that much to you since I... learned those things. I am sorry.
Cassie: *watching him for a moment, slight nod at his words, but... scrubbing her face dry for a second, and then * Does anything we say have any effect on you? Longer than a couple of hours? Does it matter at all?
Dean: *quietly, doesn't look away, doesn't wince * Yes. It does. What I learned and what I did and what I failed to do back then, though. *small, very small shrug * Put a lie to all that I was before that.
Cassie: *scrubs at her eyes with one hand, shakes her head slightly, just... words are useless. they are, she wonders if they always have been *
Dean: *sighs * It was always a loop. I always have been back then, or dad wouldn't have ever gotten the Impala. It wasn't that I didn't manage to help anyone, _anyone_ now when Castiel took me back. I had already failed the moment I was born.
Cassie: *sighs, hand still mostly over her eyes * I won't argue with you. There's no point.
Dean: Isn't that an excuse? *quietly * I'm trying to tell you what's been going on in here. I want to know what's going on in there. *reaches and touches just one finger to her temple *
Cassie: *doesn't quite flinch * It's fact, Dean. No one, not even Sam can keep you from turning yourself into the whipping boy for everyone. And I can't ... *there go the tears now. again * I can't watch you do that anymore. And I can't do anything about it.
(God DAMMIT Cassie! I need to work, and I need to +see to work!)
Dean: I'm less than the man you met, what, five years ago. Aren't I. *deep breath, holds it * I'm trying to get used to things. I'm really trying. But maybe you did have it right in the first place and I was wrong to want to hold on. And maybe I wasn't. Depends on who matters more. I know I want you. I know I don't want you to hurt, and that, I want more. *hand drops, palm just... half-curled. Not fists, no tension. He never could lie to her * But it's not my choice, and you know I never claimed it to be. I'll always love you. But if this which I am now is not... what you can be with, then *half-shrug * it isn't. I'm not a child. You aren't either. *even more quietly * But what I learned... my family, who I am, is so screwed up that nobody deserves the punishment to be drawn into it. I wouldn't insist on that for anyone. You... you know more than anyone just what I mean. No rose garden.
Cassie: *far, far too tired to argue * If that's what you want.
Dean: *now there is a passing pain in his eyes, because - what of it all did she hear? ... all of it. Probably. Which doesn't give him a clue as to what of it made sense * I don't know what I want. Other than that I don't want you to hurt.
Cassie: *doesn't even have enough fire in her left to roll her eyes at him for that * I know. I know you ... I know that.
(She has taken over my eyes. GodDAMMIT.)
Dean: No, that's not quite true. I know what I want. I want you far away and safe and wrapped up in cotton or maybe in silks and gold and somebody who's handsome and dashing doing your every bidding. I want you right here where I can wrap my arms around you and see you and hear you and smell you.
What I don't know is what you want - after all this is known. Or rather... I know. You told me. You don't want me to be the whipping boy. I don't want to be that either, you know. Don't want to be yanked this way and that at the whims of a moron. Whom I owe my life to. Don't want to live with the constant fear - for my brother, for you, for everyone. I don't. I don't even know if I want this knowledge with which I was 'enlightened'. *rubs his face * I don't know what to do about it all.
(haha. Yeah. I read you. Eyes, throat, stomach...)
(Cassie's just... she's given up trying to do anything to, with, or for him.)
(*wry * Just when he as good as asked for help. *sighs * )
(She doesn't believe anything she says will do any good anymore. Too much ... well, too much of picking up the pieces only to wathc them drop again.)
(which really isn't all his fault. That thing with his mom? Would have jarred people a lot saner than him)
(but if she can't... she can't. )
Cassie: *just... shaking her head slightly, still tears, just... trickling down. unheded and unstopped. she can't think of words right now. anything she _can_ think of is the same old crap that never works and if she can't think of anything new... what's the point *
(besides the fact that his world has been turned upside down a few days ago and almost nothing he seemed to know from before makes sense any more, and he's kind of trying to piece his life together? )
(That's more than he was doing earlier today. This is why no one wanted him to go talk to Casie now.)
(yes. it's more than he was doing. *sighs * He still thinks she probably had it right in the first place, but he can't just let go without fighting. Or trying to fight, by how... random and feeble his attempts are, I guess.)
*bashes the idiot's head against a wall *
Dean?
yeah. For what he said earlier
Heh. Yeah.
he wants to keep her. For himself. It's surprising me.
it's surprising him
... okay, now Pam and Sam are surprised.
at him wanting it or at him being surprised?
Cassie's just... in a place where, even if it's true now, something will happen again, either something (at him wanting it) we do or something the show does, and he'll be back to 'normal' again.
Whereby normal = it's all my fault nigh on suicidal Dean.
(hey, he's not suicidal... except socially)
right now, I mean
Eh heh heh heh. Yes. Right now.
>.>
hey, considering that him wanting to keep her close to himself is making him parallel himself even worse with Mary
he's holding on much better than I'd expect
he's like... What I said earlier would be the wiser choice. But I... don't want it.
which is screwing up with what he's been trying to get through to people over the last few days SIDEWAYS
There is that. But... ... something. It's still a part of ... heh.
THat whole our family's cursed thing?
cursed to stupidity and acting out of want rather than reason
But he's going at himself
Cassie is not like that. She's not a demon. She's not beholden by a demon. She's perfect and I want to be with her, and I'm a damned egoist for it
Heh.
hey, egoist is better than potential murderer.
Cassie's just... nothing anyone's said to him so far, that it could still be okay, that it's not his fault half the shit he blames himself for, that he's not cursed or doomed or any such thing... nothing anyone's said has gotten through to him.
He's still playing the self-flagellating doomsayer, and ... summed up, nothing she says or does or could ever say or do will help and he's in pain and she can't stop it and that hurts worse than anything.
Aand now she's crying again.
and it's gotten him back to that moment when he was looking into his mother's defiant eyes after she'd sealed the deal
the gun in his hands
too late
and he says it isn't true. She does help when he's in pain. And so does Sam. And occasionally Bobby. But it's not their fault that he's in pain, why should it be their responsibility to get him out of it? He must learn to pick himself up on his own.
(me <-- staring at her muse like he's gone insane, kthx)
Pam would like to point out that it has nothing to do with responsibility and everything to do with the fact that they love him.
Responsibility doesn't enter into it. When you love someone you want them to be happy. And yes, that's not possible all the time, but it should be possible at least some of the time. Optimally, most of the time. For him, lately, it's been none of the time. And someone was bound to crack because of it eventually.
She just thought it would be Sam, first, for some reason.
(Hi, chatty Pam is chatty!)
Dean's been talking with Sam
they've even shared a few smiles and exchanged insults
he's talked almost not at all to Cassie
True 'nuff.
Despite the fact that she's apparently been watching.
and also, Dean's switched from 'you'd be safer away and not hunting' to a repetition of Sam's 'everyone around me is doomed because of me'
which, for Dean
is a huge switch
Not to mention a switch down.
and if anyone could feel it, it would be Cassie
Although Sam seems to have gone off that kick.
haha well the example of his older brother is a learning experience
Which is... somewhat amazing. I think because he's seeing what it's done to Cassie.
*nods *
And, yeah, he and Sarah haven't gotten quite as far as Dean and Cassie yet, but...
Sam: *wry * I'd rather not be that big an asshole if I can help it.
Dean: *quiet * You weren't far from it. Just missing the first part which was 'promising'
Sam: *winces * Yeah, well.
Dean: I... a lot of me is screaming that it's wrong. It won't be good for her. *eyes on Cassie. Not really moving away * But I lost her twice already. I let her go twice already, because that's what she wanted. Or I thought so. *voice dull * but I can't do it because it's what I want. Because it's not what I want.
Pam: *is sort of protectively standing with Cassie, watching him *
Sam: I don't... I won'... I don't know. I just... *shoulders slumped, also tired * Watching her... watching you... you're miserable. You both are. Is it any better being miserable now and hoping it gets better, or being at least okay now and risking being ... completely... destroyed later and... trying to make sure that doesn't happen? *pushing on, then, because he's afraid Dean will go on his usual tangent of i-suck-more-than-anything * We can't keep falling down all the time. We just can't. No one's that bad. *attempting levity * And, god, if there's anyone who deserves a shot at happiness it's you, Dean.. *and then he realizes he's babbling and shuts up *
Dean: *blinking * You're asking me to make a choice I've made before, Sam. Okay now and work trying to not get destroyed later.
Sam: Yeah, but lately you've been making the other choice. *quietly * Be miserable now as long as it keeps anyone else from getting hurt. Except choosing that hurts Cassie.
Dean: *voice breaking just a bit * Because choosing that worked spectacularly the last time.
8:50 PM Dean: *shakes his head *
But I'll be damned I can't choose the other... not really
Sam: *slight shrug * All our choices suck. It's going to hurt no matter what.
Dean: *shoulders slump, eyes closed * Yeah. I still don't want to lose her.
(I do wonder if Cassie's going to make a reappearance at the end, actually, now. This season or next. Because if they planned this far enough in advance that Mary said "... you." in Season 1? And then in Season 4 we learn why/how? Why would they throw in a ... well, none of Sam's girls have shown up again. But still.)
Sam: So don't.
Dean: *sighs, looks around at each of them * Any of you. But... *quiet * That's why I've been telling her all that. *shakes his head * Maybe too late.
Sam: You think it was easy pretending to be normal and knowing what was out there, with Jess? Lying to Jess, even before all this demonic shit started going down?
If you let her go now, you are going to lose her, and that will be your fault. If you at least give it a try, you might lose her later down the line, but we won't know until we get there.
And I can't believe I'm telling you this.
Dean: *quiet, voice grating * So this that I've been doing now looks like I've been letting her go?
Sam: No. *under his breath * Dumbass. *normal * IT looks like you're waffling between doing the same stupid stuff you've been doing the past few days and actually being smart for once, and going to her.
Pam: *over Cassie's shoulder, dryly * Your timing could have been better, but at least it was a try.
Cassie: *thumps Pam's shoulder * Be nice.
Dean: *snaps at Sam * Well it's the best I can manage right now. *grits his teeth * It's not even a choice between what's right and what's easy, 'cause neither is easy. But I ... can't let go.
Sam: *more gently * It's not supposed to be easy. It's life. No one ever said life was easy.
Dean: *eyeroll * And here I lived to you missing a reference to a book.
Sam: *arched eyebrows * Life is pain, highness, anyone who says differently is selling something?
Girls: *crack up *
Dean: Fine. NOBODY expects me to quote books. Okay. *shakes his head, sighs * That's very helpful to my self-confidence, you know.
Sam: *slight smile * Poor baby. *gently teasing, very gently *
Dean: *back out of being a jerk, okay? He can still manage it * I don't want anyone else to be hurt, but help me god I don't want to let her go
It's all I can offer. And it's not even a fair exchange. And she may choose as she has before. But it's... letting go isn't what I want.
Girls: *talking quietly amongst themselves *
Sam: *absolutely straight-faced * You're a good man, Charlie Brown. *claps his shoulder*
(Sam. You're a dork.)
Dean: *eyeroll *
Sam: *grins *
***
Dean is like... I can't believe I left you alone.
Sam: I can't believe you did either! *but making light of it, smiling slighlty *
Dean: *nods, half-smile * Yeah, I've done some idiotic things... *eyes quick on Cassie, then back, because. SAMMY. * I'm trying to learn from them.
Sam: Good. *quiet and serious, this time *
(I.... don't think Dean's quite up to joking about hell yet...)
(Not with those nightmares.)
(yeah, that too)
*sighs *
he's freaking out in that thread too
because if Castiel & co go after Sam
he's got NO clue how to protect him
Yeah. :/
Dean: Damned angels.
Sam: God I hope not.
*snickers *
Dean: Freaks with a license to do whatever they feel like and no particularly great amounts of intelligence. HOW do I trust them, I'm asking? No way.
Sam: *shakes his head, says nothing *
Dean: I get them threatening me. Hell, I owe them my life, obviously, so they can take I'm beholden or something. But threatening you? No. Sorry.
(hey, look. It's 'they got me out they may think I owe them' - not 'I'm not good enough for better' ;) )
(That's.... progress? Ish?)
(ish, yes.)
(gotta give him credit, he's trying. )
Sam: So, are you gonna go talk to the girl or what?
Dean: *blinks up at him in a 'but I'm right here' kind of way, then shakes his head and goes over to her * Cassie?
Sarah: *takes the moment to slip beside Sam. Not pressing against him to make him uncomfortable, but just... close *
Sam: *glances over at her, still sort of shy but slides an arm around her shoulders * Hey.
Cassie: *is still talking with Pam, but seems calmer. thankfully. no more tears, no more quavers, just... tired * Dean. *slight nod of greeting and sort of .. head-tilting, why's he there *
Pam: *slips off *
Sarah: *settles sort of under his arm, her own going around his waist, loosely but definitely * Hey. How are you doing?
Dean: *deep breath, quietly * Don't go. Please. *hey, if she calls him on that being a quote form a movie, he'll say that his previous use of the l-word seemed about as effective as IN that movie... * I thought... I really thought for a bit that I shouldn't be close to anyone. That I not only didn't deserve, but didn't want anything for myself. But just back there, trying to tell you to stick to your choice and... leave. I knew that I couldn't. No, that's not... If it is what you want, I'll not make it harder on you. But it's not what I want. *there. Cards on the table. *
Sam: I'm... well, I'm doing better than Dean is right now, anyway. *sighs * I figure we'll probably wind up switching places in a couple days. But for now... yeah, I'm doing pretty good.
(ahahah after the next episode, Sam means?)
Cassie: *just... sort of looks at him for a second, listening, wondering if he really .. no, not so much if he really believes it but if ... wondering something. wondering if this'll last. but she does reach out and curl her fingers around his * Hey. Remember what I said about this cute, sweet guy who I hoped would be in my future? I still do.
(Yep!)
Sarah: *small smile * Well then we'll see in a couple of days. For now let's work on keeping and improving on that 'pretty good'?
Dean: *a beat, then his face just crumbles for a moment and he pulls her in for a hug * I'll work on it. It involves him surviving the next couple of years, but other than that, I don't think he's going anywhere.
(I think they'll go down the route of getting Dean seriously hurt/in danger and Sam freaking out FOR him ... to start with >.> )
Cassie: *ZOMG clinging so tight, face tucked into his shoulder and, yes, yet again, tears. but small, this time * Good. That's good. That's really good.
Sam: *smiles slightly back * I like the sound of that.
Sarah: *wider smile * That, I like. *leans her head on his shoulder *
Dean: *holds onto her so very tight. His Cassie. For him. Something... someONE. For him. Hand running over the rich curls, gently, his own breathing ragged. And after a moment, can't find other words * I love you.
Cassie: *holding on so tight, her dean for her, for her to protect and love because, Christ, it seems like no one else will except possibly Sam and that's just not fair. and she does love him so very much * I love you too. *quietly, only a little quavery *
Dean: *deeep sigh, then tilts her chin up for a slow kiss * We'll make it work. *face crumbles a bit * Not with a secret or a timer. Just taking things as they come, all right? *at least that mistake of his mother's he won't do. No secrets. No false protection that may fail in a sleepy haze of forgetting the date. Just... them *
Cassie: *wrapping her arms tight around him, kissing him softly, slowly back. bcause he's here, and he's hers, and she loves him * Yeah. *nods slightly, because she _does_ love him. all of him. including the pain, and the hunting, and knowing what's out there * Whatever happens, and we deal with it the best way we can. Together.
Dean: *holding her so so tight * Together. *pecks the tip of her nose * to the end of the road. I hope it's only a short stretch more of rough, and we can have a long lovely ride after that. *them two. Sam. The rest of the world... *
Cassie: *small smile * I hope so too. *but.. a little more cheered that he's talking in long-haul long-term type words *
Dean: *lopsided smile * Well. Hope and love. Somebody said that two out of three ain't bad?
Cassie: Something like that. *soft, VERY relieved smile *