Tell Me How Ugly I Am, But That You'll Always Love Me
(Credit to their owners respectively)
Artists and poets tend to have an brutal lovelife, don't they?
Is it because they admire the sorrows from love?
Or, do they just see their lives as a form of behavioral art?
Oscar Wilde and Bosie Douglas in Wilde (1997) by droogywoogy @ tumblr
Paul Verlaine and Arthur Rimbaud in Total Eclipse (1995) by unknown
Federico Gacia Lorca and Salvador Dali in Little Ashes (2008) by ho-hella @ tumblr
All three pairings were mentally abusive due to the persons' capricious persona or fluctuant temper.
However, only Verlaine and Rimbaud took it to extreme and spiced it with physical violence.
As I rewatched Total Eclipse, I refused to judge the characters' sanity and right and wrong, the movie seemed better than I remembered.
Still, I could not help but revolted against Verlaine's behavior to his wife and child. Good acting by David Thewlis, though.
Let praise the beauty of babyface Leonardo DiCaprio before I start off anything.
It is like God created him after reading His favorite series of manga. So precious.
And now...
Not too bad but srly, wtf?! It is like they are two different person T_T
Okay, enough of random rambling.
I think the following is my favorite scene of all scenes:
Rimbaud: I suppose you think I've been just lying here all these weeks in a state of paralyzed sloth
Verlaine: Well, not necessarily
Rimbaud: Oh I have... but bubbling beneath the surface and rising slowly to the layers of indifferences comes a new system. Harden up, reject romanticism, abandon rhethoric, get it right. And finally I have seen where my attempt to conquer the world has led me.
Verlaine: Where has it led you?
Rimbaud: Here. My search for universal experience has led me here. To live an idle, pointless life of poverty, is the menial of a bald, ugly, aging, drunken lyric poet who clings to me because his wife won't take him back.
Verlaine: How can you bring yourself to say anything like that?
Rimbaud: It's easy, it's the truth. You're here living like this because you have to. Drunk and sex and the kind of complaisant melonchonly and enough money to soak your self oblivious every night. But me, I'm here because I chose to be.
[...]
Rimbaud: Your mind is almost as ugly as your body.
[...]
Rimbaud: *mocking* God. You look such a cunt.
[Verlaine runs away]
Rimbaud: Where are you going?
[Rimbaud starts chasing Verlaine]
Rimbaud: Where are you going? Wait. Paul, wait. Paul! Paul, don't go!
Rimbaud: *crying* Come back, don't leave me. Come back! I'm sorry. I'm sorry! How am I supposed to live?
[in letter]
... Come back. Please come back.
You're my only friend.
I promise you I'll behave myself.
That's only a stupid joke.
I'm telling you how sorry I am.
When I called you why didn't you get off the boat?
We lived together for two years and just finish like this?
Think back to what you were before you met me.
Listen to your heart.
Yours always,
RIMBAUD
The next scene, when he reunits with Verlaine in Brussel, Rimbaud gives him a melting smile like he is sincerely grateful for coming back to him.
Then, in an instant, Rimbaud slaps Verlaine impulsively and they start wrestling violently.
Now I realise how powerful and vivid Eminem and Rihanna's lyrics are to describe such abusive relationship.
'Cause you feed me fables from your hand
With violent words and empty threats
And it's sick that all these battles
Are what keeps me satisfied
-- Rihanna
Love The Way You Lie, Part 2
Later when Rimbaud screams "I'M LEAVING YOU!", I actually have Eminem's voice ringing in my head again.
Verlaine: You know if you leave me you'll kill me, I can't bear to be alone. I don't exist without someone else. I don't care if you stay with me out of pitiness.
Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
Baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me
Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me
-- Eminem
Love The Way You Lie , Part 2
.
Rimbaud: Don't expect me to be faithful to you.
Verlaine: Ahh... why are you so harsh with me?
Rimbaud: Because you need it.
Verlaine: Isn't it enough for you to know that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I'll always love you?
Rimbaud: Shut up you snivelling drunk.
Verlaine: Tell me that you love me.
Rimbaud: Oh for God's sake..
Verlaine: Please.. please it's important to me... say it..
Rimbaud: You know I'm very fond of you.
Don't forget this scene is followed by the shocking hand-stabbing scene.
How sado-masochistic their relationship was.
"Fond of" is the closest phrase to "love" from Rimbaud,
who did not believe in the existence and the nature of love.
But, did he actually LOVE Verlaine?
Was he IN LOVE with him?
By the way, I initially wanted to post something about Little Ashes, but this one is better, in my point of view, I guess.
None of the gifs are mine.