(no subject)
Here I was back in Febuary/March swearing off guys. I SWORE to myself that I wasn't going to get involved with anyone else for a long time. I didn't want to put up with any bullshit and I wasn't really going to put myself out there to get hurt again. I wasn't looking for anyone to share my time with. One random March night... March 27th, to be exact... Michelle calls me and wants me to go an Up&Gone show. I had no idea who "Up&Gone" was nor did I know anyone that was going to be there. She talked me into it and wasn't taking "No" for an answer. I gave in and went doubting that I was going to have a good time and being sure that I was going to not be in the mood for any fun.
Holy Hell, was I wrong or what? We got to the Blue Note decently early before Up&Gone had to take the stage. Michelle leads me back there to all her friends and introduces us.
There was Johnny, the lead guitarist/vocals and his fiancee Mandy
Alex who was the drummer
"Kevbo" who was the backup guitarist
And Tony who was the backup vocals and bassist
I meet this kid and I look at him and I'm just like, wow. He gives me the biggest hug that I've had in the longest time and I became all nervous. I was just blown away, seriously, but at the same time, I was beating myself up for wanting so badly to have something with this kid. I thought he was out of my league, for league system purposes, and I never thought I would ever have a chance with him. So, being the defensive bitch that I am, I don't give him much attention and when he talked, I ignored him. (Haha, sorry baby!) Throughout the night, I caught myself looking at him and just geeking out. I DO NOT GEEK OUT.
I told Michelle about my attraction and she just simply stated - "Go for it, he's in limbo right now." That in itself was a mess and I was like, "alright, I'll see what's up." The day after, or so, I requested for his friendship on Facebook. (Haha, lame, right?) Hoping that it would start some conversation or something simple. Just get my name in there again and you know, get to know each other a little bit. After that weekend, we talked for many hours pretty much every day. We clicked hard and fast and it was just awesome.
We end up hanging out that week at NKU... I'm nervous, I'm geekin and still, being defensive, bitchy, shy, I don't really notice he's there. I don't want to make an ass out of myself by talking to him and sounding like an idiot. But, I will admit, by the end of that first night at NKU, we were talking and flirting and tickling each other. (Well, his attempts at tickling me, anyway.) We ended up talking in his car about the whole "Cassie situation." That never bothered me until after she started trying to start shit with me.
Long story short, Cassie and him had been talking for awhile... They tried dating, but she broke up with him after a very short period of time because she didn't want something serious. So, she basically keeps him waiting around for a few months and he ends it once we start talking about dating. She. Gets. Pissed. She hates me and she hasn't even met me. Shit went down, blah blah blah... After threatening me, one drunken night, she tells Anthony, after we had been dating for two months, that she's in love with him and couldn't handle it if he loved me. He tells me this and I'm made so uncomfortable and so pissed by it. But, at the same time, I understood because you can't help how you feel. Your actions, however, are the ones you can help and that's why I just was made pissed. I guess we're friends now... Cassie and I. I'm trying but if you try to start something with me, I will hold a grudge. (That's a recently learned trait of mine. Haha) She will not be my go-to girl because she tried to get in the middle of my relationship with the guy I'm in love with. Call me a bitch, but it's how I roll. But she's happy with Tony's friend, Mike. And it seems that she's loving him anyway. I'm not worried.
To this day, I'm just in such shock that I've grown to love and care for someone as much as I have. We had been talking about how this relationship is so safe, so comfortable and so right, but it sucks that it had to happen now rather than a few years from now. He has become my everything, my best friend and someone I have grown to need.
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
^hahahahaha Inside joke. We fight like that. Just with the exception of the random dude.
Holy Hell, was I wrong or what? We got to the Blue Note decently early before Up&Gone had to take the stage. Michelle leads me back there to all her friends and introduces us.
There was Johnny, the lead guitarist/vocals and his fiancee Mandy
Alex who was the drummer
"Kevbo" who was the backup guitarist
And Tony who was the backup vocals and bassist
I meet this kid and I look at him and I'm just like, wow. He gives me the biggest hug that I've had in the longest time and I became all nervous. I was just blown away, seriously, but at the same time, I was beating myself up for wanting so badly to have something with this kid. I thought he was out of my league, for league system purposes, and I never thought I would ever have a chance with him. So, being the defensive bitch that I am, I don't give him much attention and when he talked, I ignored him. (Haha, sorry baby!) Throughout the night, I caught myself looking at him and just geeking out. I DO NOT GEEK OUT.
I told Michelle about my attraction and she just simply stated - "Go for it, he's in limbo right now." That in itself was a mess and I was like, "alright, I'll see what's up." The day after, or so, I requested for his friendship on Facebook. (Haha, lame, right?) Hoping that it would start some conversation or something simple. Just get my name in there again and you know, get to know each other a little bit. After that weekend, we talked for many hours pretty much every day. We clicked hard and fast and it was just awesome.
We end up hanging out that week at NKU... I'm nervous, I'm geekin and still, being defensive, bitchy, shy, I don't really notice he's there. I don't want to make an ass out of myself by talking to him and sounding like an idiot. But, I will admit, by the end of that first night at NKU, we were talking and flirting and tickling each other. (Well, his attempts at tickling me, anyway.) We ended up talking in his car about the whole "Cassie situation." That never bothered me until after she started trying to start shit with me.
Long story short, Cassie and him had been talking for awhile... They tried dating, but she broke up with him after a very short period of time because she didn't want something serious. So, she basically keeps him waiting around for a few months and he ends it once we start talking about dating. She. Gets. Pissed. She hates me and she hasn't even met me. Shit went down, blah blah blah... After threatening me, one drunken night, she tells Anthony, after we had been dating for two months, that she's in love with him and couldn't handle it if he loved me. He tells me this and I'm made so uncomfortable and so pissed by it. But, at the same time, I understood because you can't help how you feel. Your actions, however, are the ones you can help and that's why I just was made pissed. I guess we're friends now... Cassie and I. I'm trying but if you try to start something with me, I will hold a grudge. (That's a recently learned trait of mine. Haha) She will not be my go-to girl because she tried to get in the middle of my relationship with the guy I'm in love with. Call me a bitch, but it's how I roll. But she's happy with Tony's friend, Mike. And it seems that she's loving him anyway. I'm not worried.
To this day, I'm just in such shock that I've grown to love and care for someone as much as I have. We had been talking about how this relationship is so safe, so comfortable and so right, but it sucks that it had to happen now rather than a few years from now. He has become my everything, my best friend and someone I have grown to need.
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
^hahahahaha Inside joke. We fight like that. Just with the exception of the random dude.