May 28, 2014 22:37
It seems like I've been spending my week watching as men, faced with the experiences of women and the justifiable caution with which we face the world, tell us we're "overreacting" and that our reactions are "over-the-top." Not all men, they tell us! It's maddening how much so many people are missing the point!
As men, you have a wonderful opportunity to listen, to learn, to see the world from the perspective of women's everyday experiences, and instead of listening and learning, you lecture us that our experiences are invalid?
You want to be a good guy? Don't shush us. Don't tell us we're overreacting. Support us, and try to understand the justifiable caution with which we must live our lives. Understand this caution, and tailor your actions accordingly so you aren't that guy, and you aren't supporting that guy. Call out Nice Guys, and the Friend Zone. Listen when women talk about how past experiences have made us cautious. Be patient with women wanting to establish comfort and familiarity before meeting, before intimacy.
Because, if you shush women? If you tell us we're overreacting when we're cautious? You aren't a good guy, and you cannot say that you love and support the women in your lives. And you are supporting a culture that disparages women and diminishes their experiences.
P.S. This rant doesn't apply to the many wonderful men in my life who would never shush women and tell them they're overreacting <3