Definition of self
There is such a power in forgiveness. In love. In knowing yourself. To be able to look at the reflection in the mirror, and finally- after years of repressing, hating, loathing- to look at the reflection and see beauty. And something to be proud of.
I am proud of who I am. I accept all that there is about me - the good and the bad. Silence = not just death, but non existence. So I refuse to remain silent. I have found my voice and my stride and with that, came my strength.
That's a funny thing. People had been telling me for years that I was strong , but I didn't feel it. I knew I had gone through ALOT- but just being able to go through it is not enough. You have to be able to take something from it. To learn something. and to let those lessons stay with you.
Our past transgressions don't define who we are. They certainly don't define me. I am human, and capable of a great many wrongs. There isn't a person alive on this planet who can't say the same isn't true for them. Unless your the Dali Llama. Then, maybe, I'll let it slide.
Point is: I went through alot to get to where I am now. I didn't wade through the never ending cyclone of bullshit that has been and may always be my life, to just sit on my ass and not do anything with that knowledge and experience.
I have seen the worst and best in people. I've been the worst and best of people. But at the end of the day, I can look at the relfection in the mirror and be happy and proud of it. Extra baggage, extra pounds, pale skin and ugly sides to my character and all.. I love who I am.
I have regrets, sure. Things I wish I had handled differently. But I made my choices. And all of them, good or bad, were still mine to make. Now,I refuse to sit around and sob and moan and bitch and be swallowed by that regret. Too much regret without action leads to self loathing and hatred for me m, and that leads me right back to where I was before. Which is not somewhere I am ever willing to go again. The roadblocks are in place, the detour is set up, moving right along.
Love, in all its forms, is never easy. Loving someone else- really really loving them- is so very hard. But not as hard as loving yourself.
For the first time in god knows how long, I am busting my ass again for something that matters to me. In a way, it's taken over my life. It's a source of pride for me, and a place I like to dedicate myself to.
This bitch be working hard for the money. My job, school, my career, my activisom, and my current situation with Lu. All are hard work. All are things that matter to me, very much, very deeply.
This is my stance. My battle cry. I have chosen to stay and fight. World beware.
I am proud of who I am. I accept all that there is about me - the good and the bad. Silence = not just death, but non existence. So I refuse to remain silent. I have found my voice and my stride and with that, came my strength.
That's a funny thing. People had been telling me for years that I was strong , but I didn't feel it. I knew I had gone through ALOT- but just being able to go through it is not enough. You have to be able to take something from it. To learn something. and to let those lessons stay with you.
Our past transgressions don't define who we are. They certainly don't define me. I am human, and capable of a great many wrongs. There isn't a person alive on this planet who can't say the same isn't true for them. Unless your the Dali Llama. Then, maybe, I'll let it slide.
Point is: I went through alot to get to where I am now. I didn't wade through the never ending cyclone of bullshit that has been and may always be my life, to just sit on my ass and not do anything with that knowledge and experience.
I have seen the worst and best in people. I've been the worst and best of people. But at the end of the day, I can look at the relfection in the mirror and be happy and proud of it. Extra baggage, extra pounds, pale skin and ugly sides to my character and all.. I love who I am.
I have regrets, sure. Things I wish I had handled differently. But I made my choices. And all of them, good or bad, were still mine to make. Now,I refuse to sit around and sob and moan and bitch and be swallowed by that regret. Too much regret without action leads to self loathing and hatred for me m, and that leads me right back to where I was before. Which is not somewhere I am ever willing to go again. The roadblocks are in place, the detour is set up, moving right along.
Love, in all its forms, is never easy. Loving someone else- really really loving them- is so very hard. But not as hard as loving yourself.
For the first time in god knows how long, I am busting my ass again for something that matters to me. In a way, it's taken over my life. It's a source of pride for me, and a place I like to dedicate myself to.
This bitch be working hard for the money. My job, school, my career, my activisom, and my current situation with Lu. All are hard work. All are things that matter to me, very much, very deeply.
This is my stance. My battle cry. I have chosen to stay and fight. World beware.