To answer the question- How do you sleep at nite?
I don't .
It was never my intention for it all to go down like this. It wasn't about getting even, breaking up friendships, or piting family member against family member. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I don't work on scales like that. Even at my worst- which would be right about where I sunk to last year- it was never about that. No one whose never been that low has no idea what it like to be on the inside of something like that. Inside is exactly where you are. Completly in yourself.
There are things that happened last year that I'm not proud of. It's the ugliest I've ever gotten, and it's certainly the most selfish i've ever been.
Sometimes, you need to fuck up that bad to know how much your life means to you, and everything in that life. Respectfully, it doesn't always mean that those people are going to stick around while you suss out your shit. Most people can't ride that kind of emotional upheaval and that's fine.
I know who I am now. I know what's important to me. I know I am never compromising on myself ever again.
I've shut off to a lot of people - it's just the way this sort of thing goes. I'm the last person that has room to talk about trust issues-but two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.
This isn't about making excuses. This is about me getting it out of my head so I can TRY to sleep tonight.
It was never my intention for it all to go down like this. It wasn't about getting even, breaking up friendships, or piting family member against family member. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I don't work on scales like that. Even at my worst- which would be right about where I sunk to last year- it was never about that. No one whose never been that low has no idea what it like to be on the inside of something like that. Inside is exactly where you are. Completly in yourself.
There are things that happened last year that I'm not proud of. It's the ugliest I've ever gotten, and it's certainly the most selfish i've ever been.
Sometimes, you need to fuck up that bad to know how much your life means to you, and everything in that life. Respectfully, it doesn't always mean that those people are going to stick around while you suss out your shit. Most people can't ride that kind of emotional upheaval and that's fine.
I know who I am now. I know what's important to me. I know I am never compromising on myself ever again.
I've shut off to a lot of people - it's just the way this sort of thing goes. I'm the last person that has room to talk about trust issues-but two wrongs don't make a right, and all that.
This isn't about making excuses. This is about me getting it out of my head so I can TRY to sleep tonight.