(no subject)
I wish my brother would come home from Christmas, he's just in Wellington, he only works two days a week at the moment and for some reason he can't find the time to visit his family on christmas day, even though my parents would pay his ticket. we haven't seen him in 3 or 4 months, but apparently, as he said on the phone the other day "he can't just come home every weekend!". it's really sad.
I still wish I'd gone to Tahiti too, but of course to do that, would've meant another year of french and that would've meant giving up either fashion or art, and i learnt so much in both of those subjects this year, i really i just, Tahiti just wouldn't have worked for me. I suppose thats why i didn't choose to do french and thats also why i didn't go to Tahiti - because i wasn't doing French in the first place see.
My house doesn't smell of christmas. My house doesn't smell of anything. My house doesn't even have a christmas tree in it. I've spent my entire birthday home alone on the computer. This holiday isn't very festive. Try as i might to make it, the whole re-carpeting and therefore not being able to put a tree up until.. god knows when has put a dampener on the whole season. Oh and course my family is one short this year and everybody in my family knows that none of us are ready for it. Bryn's only 19, how can he not even see us for christmas? He wouldn't even come up just for the 25th.. how rejected do you feel when not even your own flesh and blood wants to see you anymore?
I don't know if i'm going to go mass this Christmas, well at least i don't know about Midnight Mass, which is in my opinion, the best mass to go to. So many beautiful memories are held in churches. Midnight Mass when you were young - falling asleep on your mother's lap, but still trying to keep awake, though the beautiful hymns coming from the choir and the congregation certainly don't help that effort. I hope we go to midnight mass... I do still believe in god, no matter what people want to think of me, i still have my faith.
I got a portable DVD player for my birthday and other little random things, like a teddy bear from Abby, Silky and Chopin. I love how my parents knew to do that, how they knew that that is the exact thing i'd appreciate more than anything, receiving gifts from the animals. I woke up at 6.30 this morning and ran into my parents room jumping on their bed to wake them up. Birthdays and Christmas, no matter how old i get each year, they never fail to bring back the little kid bubbling near the surface.
I love the holidays. i love them so much. i think thats why i also get so sad during the holidays because so many people don't appreciate them like i do, and then when i see people being all grumpy about the holidays, it fully pops my balloon and i just deflate instantly. BUT not this year, i am going to keep up all of the holiday spirit for the sake of my family, god knows they need it.
Alex asked what books we are reading over the holidays... well *blush* i have quite a list... lets go...
1)High Society - Ben Elton (finished. BRILLLIIIAANNNT)
2)The Pact - Jodi Picoult (finished.)
3)The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (reading)
4)Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
5)The Day After Forever - Erin Skiffington (finished.)
6)27 Bones - Jonathan Nasaw (have had it for agesss...still too scared to start reading it!)
7)So Much To Tell You - John Marsden
8)Franny and Zooey - J.D Salinger
9)Soul Music - Terry Pratchett
10)Uglies - Scott Westerfield
11)Songs of the Humpback Whale - Jodi Picoult
So i told this boy that i like that i like him, and that i like him so much that it hurts and that everytime i'm around him all i want is for him to hold me close, wrap me tight in his arms and never let me go. That i want to kiss him all over and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. That i've liked him since the first time i met him and that i just know we're meant to be.
- and we would be meant to be.
because i know that he's liked me for ages too, he used to tell me he liked me, except his timing sucked, cause i was going out with James and then when he next told me i was devastated about breaking up with James and then he dropped it. And he got a girlfriend. but they broke up. I was secretly overjoyed. but still, he didn't bring it up again, nor did i. Oh, i would occasionally tell him i loved him and what-not, but everytime firmly assuring i meant it only in a "strictly platonic, friendship way" oh how i lied.
Then, he got another girlfriend. and he thinks he loves her. and i tell him my true feelings. and now he has a girlfriend, that he loves. and all he says is "why'd you tell me now?"
I still wish I'd gone to Tahiti too, but of course to do that, would've meant another year of french and that would've meant giving up either fashion or art, and i learnt so much in both of those subjects this year, i really i just, Tahiti just wouldn't have worked for me. I suppose thats why i didn't choose to do french and thats also why i didn't go to Tahiti - because i wasn't doing French in the first place see.
My house doesn't smell of christmas. My house doesn't smell of anything. My house doesn't even have a christmas tree in it. I've spent my entire birthday home alone on the computer. This holiday isn't very festive. Try as i might to make it, the whole re-carpeting and therefore not being able to put a tree up until.. god knows when has put a dampener on the whole season. Oh and course my family is one short this year and everybody in my family knows that none of us are ready for it. Bryn's only 19, how can he not even see us for christmas? He wouldn't even come up just for the 25th.. how rejected do you feel when not even your own flesh and blood wants to see you anymore?
I don't know if i'm going to go mass this Christmas, well at least i don't know about Midnight Mass, which is in my opinion, the best mass to go to. So many beautiful memories are held in churches. Midnight Mass when you were young - falling asleep on your mother's lap, but still trying to keep awake, though the beautiful hymns coming from the choir and the congregation certainly don't help that effort. I hope we go to midnight mass... I do still believe in god, no matter what people want to think of me, i still have my faith.
I got a portable DVD player for my birthday and other little random things, like a teddy bear from Abby, Silky and Chopin. I love how my parents knew to do that, how they knew that that is the exact thing i'd appreciate more than anything, receiving gifts from the animals. I woke up at 6.30 this morning and ran into my parents room jumping on their bed to wake them up. Birthdays and Christmas, no matter how old i get each year, they never fail to bring back the little kid bubbling near the surface.
I love the holidays. i love them so much. i think thats why i also get so sad during the holidays because so many people don't appreciate them like i do, and then when i see people being all grumpy about the holidays, it fully pops my balloon and i just deflate instantly. BUT not this year, i am going to keep up all of the holiday spirit for the sake of my family, god knows they need it.
Alex asked what books we are reading over the holidays... well *blush* i have quite a list... lets go...
1)High Society - Ben Elton (finished. BRILLLIIIAANNNT)
2)The Pact - Jodi Picoult (finished.)
3)The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (reading)
4)Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
5)The Day After Forever - Erin Skiffington (finished.)
6)27 Bones - Jonathan Nasaw (have had it for agesss...still too scared to start reading it!)
7)So Much To Tell You - John Marsden
8)Franny and Zooey - J.D Salinger
9)Soul Music - Terry Pratchett
10)Uglies - Scott Westerfield
11)Songs of the Humpback Whale - Jodi Picoult
So i told this boy that i like that i like him, and that i like him so much that it hurts and that everytime i'm around him all i want is for him to hold me close, wrap me tight in his arms and never let me go. That i want to kiss him all over and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. That i've liked him since the first time i met him and that i just know we're meant to be.
- and we would be meant to be.
because i know that he's liked me for ages too, he used to tell me he liked me, except his timing sucked, cause i was going out with James and then when he next told me i was devastated about breaking up with James and then he dropped it. And he got a girlfriend. but they broke up. I was secretly overjoyed. but still, he didn't bring it up again, nor did i. Oh, i would occasionally tell him i loved him and what-not, but everytime firmly assuring i meant it only in a "strictly platonic, friendship way" oh how i lied.
Then, he got another girlfriend. and he thinks he loves her. and i tell him my true feelings. and now he has a girlfriend, that he loves. and all he says is "why'd you tell me now?"