I smiled at him a little bit when he mentioned Molly and her boyfriend. For a guy who used to eat slayers as like a sport, it was kind of funny to see how much he'd grown attached to them now. I guess you could say life was funny like that. "I know." I admitted to him, snuggling up against him with my legs curled up underneath me as I drank the cocoa he'd made me. "I've just been so busy at work."
And so had he. It seemed like these days he was always at Slayer School, which made me think something was up. Considering how intensely things had heated up around here I wasn't exactly surprised. Especially with Kennedy and Faith running that show.
"And no. It's safe to say that Wolfram and Hart will not be on the invite list for the People Who Don't Suck Party." I grumbled as I thought about stupid Aidan. Yes, he was rich. Yes, he was handsome and old and powerful. But still? The whole evil thing takes the fun right out of it. I just hoped that Lily got that.
"Lily went in there trying to bargain for Alexia's soul. She was asking Aidan to rip it right out of someone else and give it to her." I explained to him.
I wrapped my arm around her when she came down on the couch. Years and years ago this little picture was what happened in my dreams and now it was reality. Okay, perhaps not too accurate, mostly I dreamed about us sparrin' and then shaggin' but this was on another level and I just didn't want to sod it all up. I was known to do that sort of thing.
"Rip it out of someone else," I sighed. I would think that wouldn't be too good for the person who's soul is gettin' ripped from them. "I think I should go and see Faith." I said. I knew that she blamed me for all of this and perhaps I blamed myself as well. I should have stopped Sophia when I had the chance and ... I didn't.
"Sophia was my problem and I just ... I didn't think it would get like this and the fact that I'm still doing nothing - ..." I stopped and rubbed my forehead.
"Sophia will get hers." I promised him. I didn't care how big and bad this vampire was supposed to be, I was sure I had seen worse. It did seem a little strange that no one had managed to kill her just yet but I knew that there was always a way around a stone wall. Somehow, and I'd find out what it was. Still, I could see that Spike was wrestling with his past on this one. God, just what LA needed. Another Drusilla.
"It's too bad she won't fight for a soul." I mentioned as I traced my fingernail lightly against the back of his hand. "You know, like you did. Don't suppose they'd let me fight for her, would they?" I doubted it worked that way because that would just be too much good news and we all know how the ptbs don't exactly work that way.
"There has to be a way to get one for her but the way Aidan made it sound." I shook my head. "I don't trust him but I think he might have been right up this. Alexia has never had one, not one of her own anyways. So we really would have to steal a soul from someone else for her." And we couldn't exactly do that. Although I was sure Lily wouldn't stop until she found a way to make that happen.
I wanted Sophia to get hers, but I didn't want her to ... not exist. I wanted her to have a soul, I wanted Lexi back the way she was, but all of that just wasn't going to happen because how Buffy put it, she has to want her own soul for one and two ... Lexi never had one that was just hers. It was someone else's and I wasn't quite sure how that would pan out. Unfortunately, I had a feeling that they would rip a soul from somewhere else because Faith would do anything for her daughter. I would anyway.
"Don't think it works like that, love," I said softly when she mentioned that maybe she could fight for the soul for her. "You have to want it, desperately. Something has to change inside of you that makes you want to be a better person and right now ... that's not happening for her."
I didn't know how they were going to do this, but I knew that I had to find Sophia .. and talk to Faith. I've already heard that she wants to kick my ass, which I guess I couldn't blame her, but knowing my luck, she'd rightly off me. I wasn't ready to turn into a little pile of dust yet.
"I'm not givin' up my soul," I declared with a pout. I happened to like it. "I got it fair and soddin' square."
"Don't worry. No one's going to ask you to." I assured him although I wasn't sure if that was entirely true. Would Faith ultimately blame this on Spike and try to take his soul? I remembered William the Bloody and umm I'll pass. Although I guess even without his soul he wasn't too bad right at the end until the, y'know thing happened. So if anyone wanted to take it from him? They were gonna have to get through me first.
"You do know we're gonna have to kill Sophia though, right? You weren't like, hanging onto her for sentimental reasons...." I baited him a little bit. He hadn't talked to me about Sophia that much but it was a little weird that he hadn't gone right out there to take care of her. I knew it was a sore subject but one that we were gonna have to eventually deal with.
"Never mind." I said as I let go of his hand and forced myself to stand up, placing the mug back on the bar to be washed later when I felt like washing dishes. "It's been a long night. Where's Cordy?"
They better not ask me to. It was mine. I got it, I fought for it. Then again, Faith might have this warped idea that it was my fuck up, so I should be the one to 'take care of it.' I wasn't sure that I could. I couldn't give this all up after it was the only thing that I wanted.
I frowned when she told me that they were going to kill Sophia. What? She's not savable? We couldn't put a soul into her? She was a Slayer turned vampire, wasn't it their job to save her? Wasn't it my job to contain her? Rubbing my head again, I didn't answer her. I didn't want to answer her.
She let go of my hand and got up, walking away and I just stared at her back because I already knew that she knew what I was thinking. She knew that it would be hard and maybe that was why I hadn't stopped her.
"I don't know. Upstairs, maybe," I said quietly and I sat there still, watching her.
"Why can't we put a soul into Sophia? Why can't we save her? What makes her different?"
"Well...." Yeah, Buffy, what makes Sophia so different? Because she's Spike's ex? "She's dangerous." I said to him positively as I folded my arms over my chest. Okay, so Alexia was dangerous too but she was just a kid. I guess Sophia was too when Spike turned her. "Nothing." I finally admitted as he stared at me hard for a few minutes.
"She's not different except for no one can beat her. She's half slayer and half vampire and that spells trouble as far as I'm concerned. Why are you so concerned about her anyways?" I asked jealously, I couldn't help it. Why was he bent out of shape about Dru numero two? I knew she was going to set her sights on Spike again too now that she'd had her fun with Lexi.
"We can't just go around putting souls in vampires all willy nilly." I pointed out to him. Although, that would solve a lot of problems, wouldn't it? Too bad it wasn't possible. Or maybe it was? Once upon a time I didn't think it was possible to make every potential slayer a slayer but here they all were.
I sighed and faltered because he was just....sitting there looking at me. What did he want me to say? That we were gonna save his evil spawn? Uh no?
She's dangerous? Aren't we all dangerous? Wasn't I dangerous? Or perhaps Angelus? Hell, Lexi is soddin' dangerous right now too! I stared at her long and hard before I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, pullin' out my bff from the cabinet. I poured myself a drink, but set the glass down and headed back out to where she was.
"She's different because she was mine? Is that it? You can't go around putting souls into people, you were quite fine putting a soddin' soul into Angelus, weren't you? After he killed Jenny? Oh, the stories he told me about that one," I said coldly. "But there you were, quick to shove a soul back into that trash, weren't you?"
Letting out an unneeded breath, I shook my head, "Buffy, I'm ... I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with your foggy logic. Not this time. If she's able to get a soul shoved into her, then she's going to get one." I had a feelin' I would be on my own on this, but I had to try.
"She was an innocent once too. Isn't that what you do? Save the innocent?" I asked as I walked over toward her, hoping she wouldn't pull away.
"Okay, Angel already had a soul before I even met him." I pointed out to him. "I've taken part in reensouling one other vampire. That doesn't exactly make my logic fuzzy." I said to him. "You said yourself no one else can fight for a soul and we both know that Sophia isn't going to fight for hers." And if he recalled I had nothing to do with him getting a soul.
I glared at him even as his expression softened and he approached me. "Saving the innocent is exactly what I do." I said to him. "And Sophia is a murderer, she killed Alexia, an innocent seventeen year old girl. If I see her I'm dusting her." I threatened him, arching an eyebrow in his direction. He wasn't gonna talk me out of this. If he wanted to "save" Sophia he could do it on his own time.
If there was a way to save Alexia I was sure we could find it. Faith and Harry were grieving parents and that didn't even mention her twin brother and the rest of their friends. Anybody who had loved Sophia were already dead and gone. Just like she should be.
"I know you feel bad about what you did to her. That's why I'm not gonna ask for your help." I said sternly.
I just rolled my eyes. It didn't even matter about Angel, stupid of me to bring that up, when there were so many other things I could have brought up. Sophia wasn't going to fight for her soul, I knew she wasn't, but we could try to stick one into her. "I was a murderer. I killed a number of people, slayers, even tried to kill you a number of times and here you are, sharing your bed with me. I'm not saying what she did to Alexia wasn't ... wrong, because it was. It was wrong and I hope she does pay for what she's done, but there are other ways to do that besides just offin' her," I said.
I did feel bad about what I did to her. I feel bad about all of this because I do feel that it is my fault. I should have stopped her to begin with and I didn't. I wasn't good enough, but ... I would be, I will be and I needed to get to her before they did.
I was so frustrated, like someone had pulled the rug out from under me all over again. I felt like I was still in the basement of Angel's old building, watching him defend Faith because they were in the We've Murdered People Club. When did Spike get so self righteous? He had no problem staking Dru for me but this Sophia girl who was a real threat? He was bent on saving her.
"And I didn't help you get a soul either." I said coldly to him when he pointed out all of the things that he had done. Did we really need to go into Spike 101? I'd lived some of it, I already knew the storyline. And the only thing that mattered anymore was how it ended, with the two of us here. I didn't need to overthink the details.
Turning around I stormed upstairs towards my room. The only thing I wanted was a warm bath and to go to sleep, not have this argument with Spike.
"Oh, no you don't," I said a little too loudly as I raced up the stairs after her. I got to the room and she had already slammed the bathroom door and I just sat on the bed, contemplating going in there anyway. Grumbling, I got up and shut our bedroom door before going to our bathroom and opening it up.
"I know you didn't help me get a soul. In fact, I don't think you gave a shit what happened to me to be honest. Why would you. I get that, I .. I understand ..."
Why did I go and do that? Why did I bring up sodded memories that neither one of us wanted to bring up. Suddenly, I didn't even want to talk about this anymore. I just didn't want Sophia to not be saved.
I didn't see what was so wrong about that.
But, in the end, maybe Buffy was right. What good would it be for Sophia to be here? All she would be was in inconvenience. For Buffy.
I just stared at him as I waited for him to get to the point. I gave a shit about him, I gave a lot of....shit about him. But at the time when he disappeared without a word, I didn't know what to think about him at all. Besides the obvious.
"I'm not going to be the one to do what? Stake her?" I asked him, my eyebrow arched as I marched past him and back into the bedroom. I really could be enjoying a warm bath right now instead of listening to him defend his ex to me.
"You're obviously not gonna do it, but I'm good at sharing. If Angel or Faith or Harry want a shot at it first I can wait my turn." I pointed out. After all, I probably wasn't the only one who wanted to kill Sophia. And if Faith, Angel and I went after her, on our own we could probably get the job done.
Picking up a pillow and a blanket from our bed I shoved them into his arms. "Enjoy the couch."
Was she enjoying this? Soddin' bitch, she was sometimes.
"I'm not sleepin' on the couch. I haven't slept on the couch YET in this house and it's not goin' to be SODDIN' TONIGHT!" I tossed the pillow and blanket back on the bed and waved my hand.
"Go take your soddin' bath, or shower, or whatever it was you wanted to do," I muttered and sat on the bed. I leaned over and unlaced my boots before taking them off and putting them in the closet.
When I came out, I glanced at the look she was giving me. I wasn't going on the couch, she could kiss my arse before I did that. I tossed my coat that took me forever to get presentable again onto the chair that was in our room.
"I just don't understand is all and I think the only reason you're doing this is because she was a part of my life. And she is a murderer and she's all of those nasty things you say about her, but it was my fuck up and I just want to make it right. Obviously if it's not your ex, you don't give a toss. I GET that."
"In case you hadn't noticed? I killed Angel, I sent him to hell because he was too dangerous. So don't talk to me about not giving a toss. You are the...tossless one. The only way you can make this right is by sending Sophia to hell where she belongs." I said coldly to him. Suddenly, staying here and taking a bath sounded like the worst idea I'd ever had.
"And that's just fine. If you won't take the couch I'm not sleeping here next to you. You can just stay here by yourself with all of your warm fuzzy Sophia memories for company." I said to him as I pulled my boots back on.
I hoped he realized that I would pretty much rather be outside in the blizzard than in here with him right now.
"If you need me I'll be out staking your girlfriend, that is if I'm not too busy saving my murdering ex." I called to him sarcastically as I headed for the stairs.
I just stood there for a second before grabbing my boots and I struggled putting them on, but I finally did and grabbed my coat, swinging that on. I practically flew down the stairs after her and caught her in the front yard before she could go any further. Grabbing her arm, I swung her back, holding onto her tightly.
"Stop being a selfish little bitch. I love you. I'd do anything for you, I just don't understand why we can't put a soul into her. Can't you LISTEN!?" I yelled and let go of her.
My hands found my hips and I just stood there, watching her. "I did this to her. I turned her, a Slayer. Kept her around when Dru wasn't there to ... and now, things changed. I stole her innocence. I just want to save her. But Lexi's my main concern. If it's hopeless for Sophia, then she's done for. I promise."
And so had he. It seemed like these days he was always at Slayer School, which made me think something was up. Considering how intensely things had heated up around here I wasn't exactly surprised. Especially with Kennedy and Faith running that show.
"And no. It's safe to say that Wolfram and Hart will not be on the invite list for the People Who Don't Suck Party." I grumbled as I thought about stupid Aidan. Yes, he was rich. Yes, he was handsome and old and powerful. But still? The whole evil thing takes the fun right out of it. I just hoped that Lily got that.
"Lily went in there trying to bargain for Alexia's soul. She was asking Aidan to rip it right out of someone else and give it to her." I explained to him.
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"Rip it out of someone else," I sighed. I would think that wouldn't be too good for the person who's soul is gettin' ripped from them. "I think I should go and see Faith." I said. I knew that she blamed me for all of this and perhaps I blamed myself as well. I should have stopped Sophia when I had the chance and ... I didn't.
"Sophia was my problem and I just ... I didn't think it would get like this and the fact that I'm still doing nothing - ..." I stopped and rubbed my forehead.
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"It's too bad she won't fight for a soul." I mentioned as I traced my fingernail lightly against the back of his hand. "You know, like you did. Don't suppose they'd let me fight for her, would they?" I doubted it worked that way because that would just be too much good news and we all know how the ptbs don't exactly work that way.
"There has to be a way to get one for her but the way Aidan made it sound." I shook my head. "I don't trust him but I think he might have been right up this. Alexia has never had one, not one of her own anyways. So we really would have to steal a soul from someone else for her." And we couldn't exactly do that. Although I was sure Lily wouldn't stop until she found a way to make that happen.
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"Don't think it works like that, love," I said softly when she mentioned that maybe she could fight for the soul for her. "You have to want it, desperately. Something has to change inside of you that makes you want to be a better person and right now ... that's not happening for her."
I didn't know how they were going to do this, but I knew that I had to find Sophia .. and talk to Faith. I've already heard that she wants to kick my ass, which I guess I couldn't blame her, but knowing my luck, she'd rightly off me. I wasn't ready to turn into a little pile of dust yet.
"I'm not givin' up my soul," I declared with a pout. I happened to like it. "I got it fair and soddin' square."
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"You do know we're gonna have to kill Sophia though, right? You weren't like, hanging onto her for sentimental reasons...." I baited him a little bit. He hadn't talked to me about Sophia that much but it was a little weird that he hadn't gone right out there to take care of her. I knew it was a sore subject but one that we were gonna have to eventually deal with.
"Never mind." I said as I let go of his hand and forced myself to stand up, placing the mug back on the bar to be washed later when I felt like washing dishes. "It's been a long night. Where's Cordy?"
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I frowned when she told me that they were going to kill Sophia. What? She's not savable? We couldn't put a soul into her? She was a Slayer turned vampire, wasn't it their job to save her? Wasn't it my job to contain her? Rubbing my head again, I didn't answer her. I didn't want to answer her.
She let go of my hand and got up, walking away and I just stared at her back because I already knew that she knew what I was thinking. She knew that it would be hard and maybe that was why I hadn't stopped her.
"I don't know. Upstairs, maybe," I said quietly and I sat there still, watching her.
"Why can't we put a soul into Sophia? Why can't we save her? What makes her different?"
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"She's not different except for no one can beat her. She's half slayer and half vampire and that spells trouble as far as I'm concerned. Why are you so concerned about her anyways?" I asked jealously, I couldn't help it. Why was he bent out of shape about Dru numero two? I knew she was going to set her sights on Spike again too now that she'd had her fun with Lexi.
"We can't just go around putting souls in vampires all willy nilly." I pointed out to him. Although, that would solve a lot of problems, wouldn't it? Too bad it wasn't possible. Or maybe it was? Once upon a time I didn't think it was possible to make every potential slayer a slayer but here they all were.
I sighed and faltered because he was just....sitting there looking at me. What did he want me to say? That we were gonna save his evil spawn? Uh no?
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"She's different because she was mine? Is that it? You can't go around putting souls into people, you were quite fine putting a soddin' soul into Angelus, weren't you? After he killed Jenny? Oh, the stories he told me about that one," I said coldly. "But there you were, quick to shove a soul back into that trash, weren't you?"
Letting out an unneeded breath, I shook my head, "Buffy, I'm ... I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with your foggy logic. Not this time. If she's able to get a soul shoved into her, then she's going to get one." I had a feelin' I would be on my own on this, but I had to try.
"She was an innocent once too. Isn't that what you do? Save the innocent?" I asked as I walked over toward her, hoping she wouldn't pull away.
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I glared at him even as his expression softened and he approached me. "Saving the innocent is exactly what I do." I said to him. "And Sophia is a murderer, she killed Alexia, an innocent seventeen year old girl. If I see her I'm dusting her." I threatened him, arching an eyebrow in his direction. He wasn't gonna talk me out of this. If he wanted to "save" Sophia he could do it on his own time.
If there was a way to save Alexia I was sure we could find it. Faith and Harry were grieving parents and that didn't even mention her twin brother and the rest of their friends. Anybody who had loved Sophia were already dead and gone. Just like she should be.
"I know you feel bad about what you did to her. That's why I'm not gonna ask for your help." I said sternly.
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I did feel bad about what I did to her. I feel bad about all of this because I do feel that it is my fault. I should have stopped her to begin with and I didn't. I wasn't good enough, but ... I would be, I will be and I needed to get to her before they did.
Somehow.
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"And I didn't help you get a soul either." I said coldly to him when he pointed out all of the things that he had done. Did we really need to go into Spike 101? I'd lived some of it, I already knew the storyline. And the only thing that mattered anymore was how it ended, with the two of us here. I didn't need to overthink the details.
Turning around I stormed upstairs towards my room. The only thing I wanted was a warm bath and to go to sleep, not have this argument with Spike.
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"I know you didn't help me get a soul. In fact, I don't think you gave a shit what happened to me to be honest. Why would you. I get that, I .. I understand ..."
Why did I go and do that? Why did I bring up sodded memories that neither one of us wanted to bring up. Suddenly, I didn't even want to talk about this anymore. I just didn't want Sophia to not be saved.
I didn't see what was so wrong about that.
But, in the end, maybe Buffy was right. What good would it be for Sophia to be here? All she would be was in inconvenience. For Buffy.
"You're not going to be the one to do it."
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"I'm not going to be the one to do what? Stake her?" I asked him, my eyebrow arched as I marched past him and back into the bedroom. I really could be enjoying a warm bath right now instead of listening to him defend his ex to me.
"You're obviously not gonna do it, but I'm good at sharing. If Angel or Faith or Harry want a shot at it first I can wait my turn." I pointed out. After all, I probably wasn't the only one who wanted to kill Sophia. And if Faith, Angel and I went after her, on our own we could probably get the job done.
Picking up a pillow and a blanket from our bed I shoved them into his arms. "Enjoy the couch."
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"I'm not sleepin' on the couch. I haven't slept on the couch YET in this house and it's not goin' to be SODDIN' TONIGHT!" I tossed the pillow and blanket back on the bed and waved my hand.
"Go take your soddin' bath, or shower, or whatever it was you wanted to do," I muttered and sat on the bed. I leaned over and unlaced my boots before taking them off and putting them in the closet.
When I came out, I glanced at the look she was giving me. I wasn't going on the couch, she could kiss my arse before I did that. I tossed my coat that took me forever to get presentable again onto the chair that was in our room.
"I just don't understand is all and I think the only reason you're doing this is because she was a part of my life. And she is a murderer and she's all of those nasty things you say about her, but it was my fuck up and I just want to make it right. Obviously if it's not your ex, you don't give a toss. I GET that."
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"And that's just fine. If you won't take the couch I'm not sleeping here next to you. You can just stay here by yourself with all of your warm fuzzy Sophia memories for company." I said to him as I pulled my boots back on.
I hoped he realized that I would pretty much rather be outside in the blizzard than in here with him right now.
"If you need me I'll be out staking your girlfriend, that is if I'm not too busy saving my murdering ex." I called to him sarcastically as I headed for the stairs.
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"Stop being a selfish little bitch. I love you. I'd do anything for you, I just don't understand why we can't put a soul into her. Can't you LISTEN!?" I yelled and let go of her.
My hands found my hips and I just stood there, watching her. "I did this to her. I turned her, a Slayer. Kept her around when Dru wasn't there to ... and now, things changed. I stole her innocence. I just want to save her. But Lexi's my main concern. If it's hopeless for Sophia, then she's done for. I promise."
I took a step toward her and reached for her.
"Don't go."
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