(no subject)
I move out in four days. I move out in four days and I'm so scared. I'm so scared and excited and frustrated and insane. There's so many mixed feelings. I want to cry. All I've wanted to do for the past two weeks is cry.
There's so much shit going on in my head. I seriously feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I've forgotten what it feels like to be happy. Every time I think I remember I get shot down again. I wish I had a cave to crawl into. I've dug myself a million holes, but there's no shade from the weather or the bugs. I need a cave. Dark, damp, and cozy. Dark and damp feels so cozy right now. I need infinite amounts of hugs right now. Hugs and a cigarette that turns into an hour long conversation with no drama. An hour long conversation based strictly on love and friendship. Ugh. But I know that it's my fault that I can't have these things. I feel like my life is my fault. I wonder where I'd be...
There's so much shit going on in my head. I seriously feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I've forgotten what it feels like to be happy. Every time I think I remember I get shot down again. I wish I had a cave to crawl into. I've dug myself a million holes, but there's no shade from the weather or the bugs. I need a cave. Dark, damp, and cozy. Dark and damp feels so cozy right now. I need infinite amounts of hugs right now. Hugs and a cigarette that turns into an hour long conversation with no drama. An hour long conversation based strictly on love and friendship. Ugh. But I know that it's my fault that I can't have these things. I feel like my life is my fault. I wonder where I'd be...