(no subject)
WTF, i need motivation. I can't just say "I'm gunna do this" or "I'm gunna do that". I need someone to help me with this. It's easy to say stuff to motivate, but to do something about it is different. I think it's like If i hear someone trying to motivate me, it goes through one ear and out the other. I need more then just words. I want someone there to push my buttons. I durno. I just think the reason for everything that's happened to me is because i don't have motivation. Bah.
School was gay. I cut again. Mother fucking god. I know it's bad and stuff, but it's like i dont even feel bad that im doing it till i get home. It's like something im doing without being aware of what might happen. I saw both those teachers earlier in the hallways. I'm pretty sure they are gunna wonder why i was cutting. Oi, this is not how im going to graduate.
I've got soooo much stuff on my head, it's like a lot of stuff to do, and it's very stressful.
Research Paper on Salem Witch Trials
(Which i haven't even started. I don't even know anything other then the basics)
Savings for Otakon
(The way that it's heading, i dont even think i'll have enough to pay for the hotel even.)
Attendence
(It's a big problem for me. I wake up every morning at 6:30- 7:00. All i have to do is get some clothes on, brush my teeth, wash my face and get out the house, simply 15 minutes and then i would be in school early, but I find myself staying in my room and surfing the net and spacing out till around 750. I don't even go to my first period class. I know that i don't need it to graduate, but it's such a simple class that i cant even get my ass to.)
School Classes
I think this marking period I've done horrible im most of my classes. I was unprepared for a lot of the first marking period for gym and it's cought on. I got a 55 first mp, and this mp im geting a 60. I spoke to my gym teacher and he said i just have to be prepared for the rest of the school year, no problem.
Earth Science. I't s piece of cake class. I've passed all of his tests with fairly decent to high grades, but because of my lack of attendence(1st period) and my lack of hw, I think i might have failed this mp. I haven't been doing my labs either. Damn
I'm starting to slack off in english. He's a cool teacher and all, but i can't pull myself to do his hw. It's just odd. I know i've done horrible on the midterm since i didn't read the book. I might have failed his class too.
US History. I try soo much in that class, but it's not enough. I did very well on the midterm, i'm always at his class and I've done most of the necessary stuff. I think what might hold me back is the hw quizes. He gives a lot of those, and being the lazy fucker i am, i think i might have failed because of them.
Weight Training. Oh man. I seriously liked the class, up until they threw a fucking billion kids into my class. WTF, theres always someone on a machine and he fucking expects us to be doing someone. Oi. I've been unprepared for his class like a couple of times and absent a whole lot, but he's terrible at attendence, so I slide away with it this time.
Economics. Its a relatively easy class. We have to do soo much project stuff, and i hate doing projects, for you see, im not social, so when i get put into a group, i don't socialize with anyone. Usually they end up doing it, and when presentation comes, bam, im no where in site. So they get credit for there work. I think its right for them to get the credit. Heck, i didn't contribute to any of it. My, this mp particularly had a lot of projects, so i geuss i've failed.
So What I geuss my reportcard will look like is:
Earth Science 60 : Consistantly Absent, Missing HW
Earth Science Lab N : Incomplete work
Gym 60: Needs to work better, Unprepared for class
English 65: Needs to improve, Poor Missing HW
US History 60: Poor Missing hw, needs to do better
Weight Training 65: Unprepared for class, needs to do better
Economics 60: Absent on test days, Can do better
Bah, that's what i think i got. Only way to find out is to wait till next week. I might be thinking too low of myself, but it's really all my fault that things happen, so i geuss i deserve to get these grades.
Ahhh, I'm soo depressed now a days, I hope i don't have to check into a hospital for clinical depression or something. I just think i let too much stuff get me down.
School was gay. I cut again. Mother fucking god. I know it's bad and stuff, but it's like i dont even feel bad that im doing it till i get home. It's like something im doing without being aware of what might happen. I saw both those teachers earlier in the hallways. I'm pretty sure they are gunna wonder why i was cutting. Oi, this is not how im going to graduate.
I've got soooo much stuff on my head, it's like a lot of stuff to do, and it's very stressful.
Research Paper on Salem Witch Trials
(Which i haven't even started. I don't even know anything other then the basics)
Savings for Otakon
(The way that it's heading, i dont even think i'll have enough to pay for the hotel even.)
Attendence
(It's a big problem for me. I wake up every morning at 6:30- 7:00. All i have to do is get some clothes on, brush my teeth, wash my face and get out the house, simply 15 minutes and then i would be in school early, but I find myself staying in my room and surfing the net and spacing out till around 750. I don't even go to my first period class. I know that i don't need it to graduate, but it's such a simple class that i cant even get my ass to.)
School Classes
I think this marking period I've done horrible im most of my classes. I was unprepared for a lot of the first marking period for gym and it's cought on. I got a 55 first mp, and this mp im geting a 60. I spoke to my gym teacher and he said i just have to be prepared for the rest of the school year, no problem.
Earth Science. I't s piece of cake class. I've passed all of his tests with fairly decent to high grades, but because of my lack of attendence(1st period) and my lack of hw, I think i might have failed this mp. I haven't been doing my labs either. Damn
I'm starting to slack off in english. He's a cool teacher and all, but i can't pull myself to do his hw. It's just odd. I know i've done horrible on the midterm since i didn't read the book. I might have failed his class too.
US History. I try soo much in that class, but it's not enough. I did very well on the midterm, i'm always at his class and I've done most of the necessary stuff. I think what might hold me back is the hw quizes. He gives a lot of those, and being the lazy fucker i am, i think i might have failed because of them.
Weight Training. Oh man. I seriously liked the class, up until they threw a fucking billion kids into my class. WTF, theres always someone on a machine and he fucking expects us to be doing someone. Oi. I've been unprepared for his class like a couple of times and absent a whole lot, but he's terrible at attendence, so I slide away with it this time.
Economics. Its a relatively easy class. We have to do soo much project stuff, and i hate doing projects, for you see, im not social, so when i get put into a group, i don't socialize with anyone. Usually they end up doing it, and when presentation comes, bam, im no where in site. So they get credit for there work. I think its right for them to get the credit. Heck, i didn't contribute to any of it. My, this mp particularly had a lot of projects, so i geuss i've failed.
So What I geuss my reportcard will look like is:
Earth Science 60 : Consistantly Absent, Missing HW
Earth Science Lab N : Incomplete work
Gym 60: Needs to work better, Unprepared for class
English 65: Needs to improve, Poor Missing HW
US History 60: Poor Missing hw, needs to do better
Weight Training 65: Unprepared for class, needs to do better
Economics 60: Absent on test days, Can do better
Bah, that's what i think i got. Only way to find out is to wait till next week. I might be thinking too low of myself, but it's really all my fault that things happen, so i geuss i deserve to get these grades.
Ahhh, I'm soo depressed now a days, I hope i don't have to check into a hospital for clinical depression or something. I just think i let too much stuff get me down.