Even Better! Oh, Wait, I Meant "Worse".

[willtruncheon]

...Palin's a book-banning, earmark-addicted Alaskan secessionist who wants Christian Creationism given equal time alongside evolution in public schools.  (No doubt she wants all other religious creation myths given equal time, too.  The CFSM can really get behind this one.)

Worse than Dan Quayle?

Comments

[willtruncheon]

Thanks for the clarification, Newsweek:

-Palin's not a book-burner. She just asked the town librarian several times how to ban books, then fired her after she replied negatively to the prospect. Whew! Case closed! Nothing to see here!

-She's not actually a member of the AIP. She just went to a few of their conventions and recorded a greeting on video for them to tell them how awesome they are. I feel much better! Besides, if Alaska ever actually seceded from the Union, they'd have to stop receiving all those tax dollars we send over every year to honor them for being Alaskan.

-She believes Creationism and Evolution should be given equal time in public schools. Wait... hmmm. That is distressing, still, isn't it? But it's because she supports debate in classrooms about it! Awesome! Let's extend that to English class, too, and History, so students can debate about the alternative, non-factual version of "Biblical History". That way everybody can get a chance to decide for themselves that humans didn't actually exists 8,000 years ago, and that ancient civilizations are largely hoaxes. And whether or not Shakespeare was a Vulcan. We can teach "Biblical Health" in gym, too! No shellfish for you, kids!

I am deeply reassured.

[willtruncheon]

Much better, thank you for asking. Still rather tender, but I'm not limping around going "Yeesh... aieee... fffttssss..." anymore.

I think this has inspired me to seek employment elsewhere, though. More on that existential crisis later!