"This is the part where you're supposed to break my heart" - Bones (Jack/Angela)
Title: "This is the part where you're supposed to break my heart"
Author: willowwood
Character(s): Jack Hodgins/Angela Montenegro
Rating: PG
Words: 3,970 (You did say these fics had to be over 3,000 words, right Dk? lmao)
Summary: When Angela goes to dinner with her mysterious husband, Jack fears the worst.
Authors Notes: Written for the debut ficathon over at bugs_n_slime.
Prompt: 'Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love: that is the soul of genius.' - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Disclaimer: Even though callieach dreamt that we kidnapped TJ Thyne, sadly it isn't true *snort*
"This is the part where you're supposed to break my heart"
They were working through lunch on a Saturday, so barring the usual six of them the lab was practically deserted. That was why when the automatic doors opened and he wandered in, the five who were gathered on the platform, couldn't help but look up.
"Who's that?" Zach whispered voicing the question that the others were no doubt thinking. Jack swallowed, he knew who he was, recognised his face as the one he'd been trying to block out his mind for the past three days.
"It's Angela's husband" he replied quietly, hoping that maybe the others wouldn't hear him. He could tell from the sudden forced silence that they had. Loud and clear.
It was at that moment that he spotted them, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that they were all staring at him, and said, "Hi, I'm looking for Angela Montenegro".
Behind him Jack could tell that the others attention had now been trained on him. Expecting him to move, make the introductions, lead him to Angela's office - say something at least - but he didn't, he just stood there staring at the guy and wishing he hadn't come into work that morning.
Eventually it was Brennan who realised he wasn't going to do any of those things and so she left the platform, introducing herself before leading him towards the holographic room. Leaving the remaining four to watch them go.
"He's…..tall" Zach commented hesitantly. He was - probably no taller than Booth, Jack guessed but his thinner frame made him appear to leer over the anthropologist.
"He's cute….if you like that more….feminine looks on a guy…" Cam added. Jack rolled his eyes he'd known the guy was "model" good-looking from the photographs, but seeing him in person was a different story - and "cute" didn't cover it, "cute" was Cam being tactful for his benefit. Even he could see that.
Booth commented last, tapping him on the back, he added light-heartedly "At least you're rich!"
Jack didn't say anything, simply pulled off his gloves and walked out of the lab. He half wished that somebody had gone after him, told him to grow up and stop acting like an idiot - Maybe then he'd have come to his senses, but nobody did.
An hour and a half later, Angela found him in the storage basement. A week after he'd asked her to move in with him Cleopatra's bed was put on display and he'd grinned like an embarrassed teenager every time he'd walked past signs directing people to the Egyptian exhibit, so now the room was filled with crates full of aboriginal artefacts and artwork. He was leaning against one of these when she joined him.
"Hey! There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere"
"You found me" his tone didn't mirror the cheery disposition he'd been going for.
"Zach and Cam said you just walked out. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, it's just the case, you know?" She nodded, even though he could tell she knew that he was lying. After all, a 60-year-old murder victim was hardly one of the hardest cases they'd had to work on. When he asked her about her visitor, in an attempt to get the focus away from himself and break the strange, uncomfortable silence that was growing between them, she'd told him that they were going for a meal that night to sort everything out. He didn't quite understand what everything was but when he'd insisted that he'd go with her. She'd insisted that he shouldn't.
After all, "Booth and Brennan need you here". He probably would have argued had it not been for his cell phone sounding at that point, with Booth informing him that a shallow grave had been reported and that he was required out in the field.
"Besides, I'll only be gone a couple of hours".
On their way, back to the lab he'd suggested booking them into a restaurant. "Thanks, that'd be great. I'll see you later ok?" she was leaning forward to kiss him when Booth and Brennan came charging past "Come-on Hodgins! Let's vamoose" He was only half-surprised when she pulled back with a sheepish grin and echoed her previous statement.
"Ok" he agreed.
During the drive out to the field, Jack scanned his phone book for a suitable restaurant, for a brief second he contemplated calling her favourite, but then changed his mind at the last minute. When he'd eventually decided on which one to book them into, he stopped short of booking it in his own name "It's Hod….Montenegro" He amended quickly, before spelling it out. In the front, Booth and Brennan shared a look that they hoped he didn't see. Ignoring it, he dialled Angela's number next.
Later, when he'd finally got back to the lab, she'd already left.
Another three hours, after he'd finally determined when and where John Doe #28435 had died, he left as well. Taking the route home, that leads him as far away from the restaurant as possible. All the while, telling himself and Zach that it'd be insane to drive down the high street at that time of night.
Now, Jack stared at the manila folder the Private Investigator had given them. Flicked it open and studied, for what was probably the thousandth time that night, the picture that he'd also supplied them with. From the glossy paper, a man, whose blonde hair, deep brown eyes, high cheekbones and strong angled jaw wasn't done justice by the low quality digital print, starred back at him. It was a portfolio shot apparently, according to Angela anyway, from his days as a model - from the days when she'd first met him. Five years old but still as accurate as the day it was taken according to the PI - he hadn't been kidding.
After they'd run off from there own wedding they hadn't discussed Angela's current marital status - Jack didn't ask and Angela didn't bother to offer an explanation. In fact they didn't discuss a great deal of anything - simply jumped on the first plane that was taking off and spent the next five days in a grand-oak four poster bed somewhere on the edge of Paris. He called to cancel their Honeymoon in New Zealand. She called Brennan to tell her where they were and that they'd be back in awhile. Aside from the fact that they left a little earlier than expected, when Zach called to tell them, he was being shipped out to Iraq earlier than planned, everything was perfect.
It wasn't until they got back and people started asking questions that Jack found himself wondering where they were heading next.
It was another week later, after Jack found himself shrugging off yet another joke about a reception missing its bride and groom, when Angela finally brought it up.
"His name was Harrison" she'd begun unexpectedly.
"First or last name?" he'd been trying to lighten the mood, yet only succeeded in making her look even more distressed.
"I…have…no…idea" she admitted taking the seat opposite him "We didn't really know a lot about each other. All I know for certain is that he was the model for an art class I was attending in London, and, we hit if off straight away. I thought I was in love with him, so a month later when he asked me to marry him we headed straight to Fiji" She smiled nervously and Jack wondered if she expected him to say something. When he didn't she ran a hand through her hair before dropping it back into her lap "We were together less than a week before we realised it wasn't going to work out, and neither of us figured that the ceremony had been legit so we split up. I came here, got a job at the Jeffersonian and met you. He… I have no idea…I haven't seen or spoken to him since I boarded that plane" Jack nodded, not entirely sure why she was suddenly telling him all of this. She took in a deep breath,
"I'm going to find him Jack. I'm going to hire a private detective and I'm going to sort all of this out"
"Ok, if that's what you want we'll get on to it right away. I'll make some calls in the morning and we-"
She shook her head, "I said I'm going to sort it out Jack. It's my problem…I'm the one who ruined….everything-" he started to protest but she ignored him "-I'm the one who's going to fix it"
During their first meeting the Private Investigator had heard the name Hodgins, knew instantly who and what he was and Jack could practically see him imagining the dollar signs springing into Angela's eyes the second she met him - If only he knew the truth, maybe then, three weeks after she'd hired him, as he'd pushed the portfolio across the table towards them. Filled with it's long list of beach condo's, pilot licenses and black and white pictures of some guy with movie star good looks and no record of any other serious relationships after Angela "broke his heart", his smirk wouldn't have been so smug, that Jack felt the over welling urge to punch him. He knew what the guy was thinking, "What's a girl like Angela going to want in a guy like him, when she's already married to a guy like that". Not that Jack could blame him, of course - when he looks at the photograph, and thinks of the beautiful woman who was sitting next to him, he can't help but ask himself the exact same thing. Even as she'd laced her fingers with his, encouragingly.
He'd booked the restaurant for seven, but he hasn't seen her since one and with midnight, rolling around it's almost eleven hours since the last time he's seen her. He tries to put his anxieties down to the fact that it's late and she hasn't called him yet. That this is the longest he's been away from her since she'd agreed to move in with him, but he isn't fooling anybody, especially not himself.
He's trying not to think about it. Not about, what outfit she chose to wear, not about what the two of them could be talking about, not about anything - But there's nothing to watch on television, he's already eaten, thanks to Dominoes pizza, and he knows for a fact that he won't be able to sleep no matter how much he tries. So all he can do is wait.
As the clock hits midnight, he finally gives into his impulses and is reaching for the phone and punching in her cell phone number, when he suddenly hears the key in the door.
Freezing, he listens as she goes through the routine she quickly grew accustomed to upon moving in. Places her keys on the table, puts down her bag, takes off her coat and kicks of her shoes. He tries not to think too hard about the delay between kicking off her shoes, and making her way to the main room, simply leans back in his chair, and tries not to hold his breath.
"Hey, I didn't think you'd still be up" she greets, finally appearing in the doorway.
Jack shrugs hoping that the half-hearted smile he offers her looks genuine, even though he knows it's doesn't and turns towards the doorway. Immediately his eyes go to the tight grey jeans and vintage style purple top that she's wearing, the hair that falls around her shoulders in waves. It's nothing compared to some of the things she's worn to go out to dinner with him but he still thinks she looks amazing, and is glad that he wasn't around for her to ask him "How do I look?"
"I couldn't sleep" he replies eventually and Angela smiles.
"Well I'm exhausted" she begins yawning "so I'm going to go on up to bed, ok?" he nods, even though he's desperate to ask her how her meal went, before leaning forward and putting the phone back into it's cradle. Hesitantly, she turns and moves to head towards the staircase, but even before, she's taken a step she stops and glances over her shoulder towards him.
"I love you Jack," she whispers. It's the first time she's said it without being prompted or on reflex cause, he'd said it first, and even though he knows, he should be happy about that fact. He feels as though there's something else in her voice and is encouraging her with an overly forceful "but?" even before he's decided what that 'something' might be.
"But what?" she asks, sounding surprised and turning around to face him once more. Suddenly the stupidity he's been denying all evening comes crashing back to him with full force and he wants to take it back. To keep his mouth shut and let her go off to bed where he'd have joined her within minutes, willing to wait until she was ready to tell him what was on her mind - just like he always did. But it's too late now; because he can tell by the way her eyes grow wide, that she's already figured out what he's thinking, so instead he hears himself telling her
"This is the part where you're supposed to break my heart" he wants to add 'again', but knows he's already acting childish enough.
When she doesn't protest straight away, simply turns her attention to the floor. He's suddenly 20 years old again, only it's Clarrisa who's standing in the doorway, Clarrisa who's finding it easier to stare at the carpet than look him in the face and he can hear the words as clear as if it happened yesterday.
"I love you Jack…but there's somebody else"
"Terry and I love each other"
"We're going to be happy"
"You and I just wouldn't work out; we've always been better friends"
He isn't entirely sure whether that last comment had actually been said or if it was something, he was imagining right now, with Angela's voice and Angela's sympathetic smile trying to soften the blow.
"Why would I be about to break your heart?" It's her real voice, and the genuine shock laced with it, that finally breaks him out of his bitter reverie.
"You said you were in love with him," he admits.
"I said I thought I was in love with him," she corrected. Jack rolled his eyes.
"You married the guy after knowing him for a month-" She moved to speak but changed her mind as he continued, "-we've known each other for three and a half years Angela, we've flirted continuously since the day we met." An exasperated laugh escapes his lips "It took me almost dying for you to realise what I'd already known for years and finally agree to go out with me, despite already having a perfect date. We've been dating for 6 months. I've proposed to you twice, and you only agreed to marry me when I told you that I didn't care if we were married or not, either way I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Apparently thinking you were in love had been good enough back then"
"So what? You think that means nothing to me. That all that effort and patience was just you wasting your time? And that I'm going to walk away from all of that just because some guy who I haven't seen for the past 4 years suddenly walks back into my life?" It's his turn to study the carpet now even though he knows she's waiting for an answer, an answer he can't honestly give without knowing he'll sound like an idiot who should have never started this conversation in the first place. So instead, he says,
"You flew out to the desert to spend 3 weeks a year with a boyfriend you never saw other than then. I didn't think picking up where you'd left off was a problem for you" It's a shallow blow, bringing her relationship with Kirk into this conversation, one he doesn't want to admit would cut so deep until the tears spring into her eyes.
"Right-" she begins trying not to let it show in her voice "-and you're an expert at being dumped by your fiancés" Her composure doesn't stick and Jack can tell she's fighting back sobs as she brings up his own past failings. Shallow blow for shallow blow and Jack knows he deserves it.
For a long time they both just stop there, her exhaustion and journey to bed seemingly forgotten for the time being. Eventually she takes in a deep breath and Jack turns back to face her, only to find an anger and determination he's never seen in her before.
"You ridicule Zach-" she begins breaking the silence, her throat still tight with unshed tears "-but at least he understands that not everything can be learned at the lab or inside one of his expensive text books. He knows that he hasn't lived or loved enough to know everything there is to know. But you have Jack. You've lived, you've loved and you've lost, probably more than most people I know and yet you haven't learned anything. With your three doctorates, people just presume that you’re a genius, that you know all there is to know….but you don't" she releases a mirthless laugh and Jack feels as though she should have been shouting at him, screaming at him for not trusting her and running up stairs to grab her things and never look back, but she doesn't.
"I may not have all those fancy letters after my name like you, and Brennan or Zach but at least I can learn from my mistakes. Marrying Harrison was one of the biggest ones I've ever made, so, was keeping Kirk at arms length, probably, and even though I might not have realised it at the time, I'm actually glad that I made them, 'cause otherwise I doubt I'd be standing here with you right now. When I left Harrison I promised myself that I'd never rush into anything like that again, that I wouldn't say yes until I was a hundred and ten percent certain that I was making the right decision. That's why I never married Kirk…." Finally the tears began falling freely and Jack didn't want to hear anymore, didn't need to hear anymore and yet he still didn't move "-that's why when I realised that I could never be without you, I wanted us to get married as soon as possible" she wiped her eyes and finally began walking into the room. With each step, he had the briefest notion of her reaching into her pocket, but he wasn't really paying attention, instead focusing on her words. "That's why I still wanted us to get married as soon as possible. I'm sorry I screwed up Jack. I'm sorry that I didn't realise jumping over a broomstick, and saying a few choice phases in front of some guy wearing a grass skirt actually classed as being married - Next time I'll get Elvis to conduct the ceremony, at least then I'll know it's legal" he wished he had laughed, by the defeated sigh that followed, she wished he had too.
"You know what I'm really sorry for?" this time she didn't expect an answer "I'm sorry that you're so much of an idiot, you can't even realise what's staring you right in the face".
Standing directly in front of him now, with only the coffee table between them, he finally looked up at her, making eye contact for the first time that night. Gone was the anger and determination he'd seen in her features only moments before, replaced now with an unmistakable mixture of loss and confusion - the same mixture he'd seen in his own reflection when Clarrisa had walked out the door - the irony almost made him laugh. The idea that he was the one who was walking away, that he was the one giving her an easy way out, that he was the one who was giving up, hadn't even occurred to him.
Instead, he tried to think of something to say, and that was when he spotted it, the cluster of papers she was holding out towards him. White, A4, stapled in the top left hand corner and covered in neat black print, nothing special to the naked eye and yet it took all other thoughts away from him.
He didn't even realise that she was expecting him to say something until she dropped it onto the coffee table in front of him, and walked out of the room, leaving him to bury his face in his hands.
All evening Jack had been imagining every scenario he thought was possible and yet this, this hadn't been one of them. Instead, he'd searched for reason, after reason for why she'd be coming back from that top of the line restaurant, and telling him she was leaving him. That was why he'd ignored everything that told him if he looked deep down and thought about it, he already knew the truth, already knew that he should stop feeling sorry for himself, already knew that he was acting like an idiot and that he didn't need anybody, but himself to point that out.
Angela was nothing like Clarrisa, had never shared a single character trait with the woman who'd left him for his best friend, in the three and a half years that he'd known her - he knew that. He knew that because, like Angela had said you learn from love, and loss. You learn to recognise the girls who are only interested in a one night stand, or the amount of cash you keep in your wallet and Angela's never been like that with him - Hell she wouldn't have even been living in the mansion, if he hadn't of been so persistent.
He's on his feet before that thought has even left his mind. He doesn't need to open the document, see its header, read the small print or check the two signatures that are no doubt sitting side-by-side, because suddenly he's realised what that "everything" she mentioned earlier actually is.
Charging through the doorway he doesn't wonder why she hasn't started up the staircase yet, or made it out the front door - he's merely thankful for it. Cause now as he reaches out for her hand and pulls her around to face him - even though he feels as though he should be apologising to her, telling her that he really is an idiot and how he understands if she never wants to be with him again - he doesn't care that his first instinct is to crash his lips against hers, before she has a chance to protest.
Instantly her hands come up to his chest, bunching his t-shirt beneath long slender fingers and for a moment he fears that she's going to push him away, that this time he really has screwed up and there's no going back. It isn't until his one hand is tangling in her hair, the other coming to rest against her hip, that she finally starts kissing him back, chest heaving, lips tasting like the last remnants of salty tears and cherry flavoured lip-gloss. Slowly her hands relax, splaying out across his chest before snaking around his back and pulling him flush against her, and despite everything. Everything they've already been through together, all that time and patience he's had to give her.
Jack cannot remember ever feeling more grateful, of being able to kiss her like this.
The End
Author: willowwood
Character(s): Jack Hodgins/Angela Montenegro
Rating: PG
Words: 3,970 (You did say these fics had to be over 3,000 words, right Dk? lmao)
Summary: When Angela goes to dinner with her mysterious husband, Jack fears the worst.
Authors Notes: Written for the debut ficathon over at bugs_n_slime.
Prompt: 'Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love: that is the soul of genius.' - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Disclaimer: Even though callieach dreamt that we kidnapped TJ Thyne, sadly it isn't true *snort*
"This is the part where you're supposed to break my heart"
They were working through lunch on a Saturday, so barring the usual six of them the lab was practically deserted. That was why when the automatic doors opened and he wandered in, the five who were gathered on the platform, couldn't help but look up.
"Who's that?" Zach whispered voicing the question that the others were no doubt thinking. Jack swallowed, he knew who he was, recognised his face as the one he'd been trying to block out his mind for the past three days.
"It's Angela's husband" he replied quietly, hoping that maybe the others wouldn't hear him. He could tell from the sudden forced silence that they had. Loud and clear.
It was at that moment that he spotted them, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that they were all staring at him, and said, "Hi, I'm looking for Angela Montenegro".
Behind him Jack could tell that the others attention had now been trained on him. Expecting him to move, make the introductions, lead him to Angela's office - say something at least - but he didn't, he just stood there staring at the guy and wishing he hadn't come into work that morning.
Eventually it was Brennan who realised he wasn't going to do any of those things and so she left the platform, introducing herself before leading him towards the holographic room. Leaving the remaining four to watch them go.
"He's…..tall" Zach commented hesitantly. He was - probably no taller than Booth, Jack guessed but his thinner frame made him appear to leer over the anthropologist.
"He's cute….if you like that more….feminine looks on a guy…" Cam added. Jack rolled his eyes he'd known the guy was "model" good-looking from the photographs, but seeing him in person was a different story - and "cute" didn't cover it, "cute" was Cam being tactful for his benefit. Even he could see that.
Booth commented last, tapping him on the back, he added light-heartedly "At least you're rich!"
Jack didn't say anything, simply pulled off his gloves and walked out of the lab. He half wished that somebody had gone after him, told him to grow up and stop acting like an idiot - Maybe then he'd have come to his senses, but nobody did.
An hour and a half later, Angela found him in the storage basement. A week after he'd asked her to move in with him Cleopatra's bed was put on display and he'd grinned like an embarrassed teenager every time he'd walked past signs directing people to the Egyptian exhibit, so now the room was filled with crates full of aboriginal artefacts and artwork. He was leaning against one of these when she joined him.
"Hey! There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere"
"You found me" his tone didn't mirror the cheery disposition he'd been going for.
"Zach and Cam said you just walked out. Are you ok?"
"Yeah, it's just the case, you know?" She nodded, even though he could tell she knew that he was lying. After all, a 60-year-old murder victim was hardly one of the hardest cases they'd had to work on. When he asked her about her visitor, in an attempt to get the focus away from himself and break the strange, uncomfortable silence that was growing between them, she'd told him that they were going for a meal that night to sort everything out. He didn't quite understand what everything was but when he'd insisted that he'd go with her. She'd insisted that he shouldn't.
After all, "Booth and Brennan need you here". He probably would have argued had it not been for his cell phone sounding at that point, with Booth informing him that a shallow grave had been reported and that he was required out in the field.
"Besides, I'll only be gone a couple of hours".
On their way, back to the lab he'd suggested booking them into a restaurant. "Thanks, that'd be great. I'll see you later ok?" she was leaning forward to kiss him when Booth and Brennan came charging past "Come-on Hodgins! Let's vamoose" He was only half-surprised when she pulled back with a sheepish grin and echoed her previous statement.
"Ok" he agreed.
During the drive out to the field, Jack scanned his phone book for a suitable restaurant, for a brief second he contemplated calling her favourite, but then changed his mind at the last minute. When he'd eventually decided on which one to book them into, he stopped short of booking it in his own name "It's Hod….Montenegro" He amended quickly, before spelling it out. In the front, Booth and Brennan shared a look that they hoped he didn't see. Ignoring it, he dialled Angela's number next.
Later, when he'd finally got back to the lab, she'd already left.
Another three hours, after he'd finally determined when and where John Doe #28435 had died, he left as well. Taking the route home, that leads him as far away from the restaurant as possible. All the while, telling himself and Zach that it'd be insane to drive down the high street at that time of night.
Now, Jack stared at the manila folder the Private Investigator had given them. Flicked it open and studied, for what was probably the thousandth time that night, the picture that he'd also supplied them with. From the glossy paper, a man, whose blonde hair, deep brown eyes, high cheekbones and strong angled jaw wasn't done justice by the low quality digital print, starred back at him. It was a portfolio shot apparently, according to Angela anyway, from his days as a model - from the days when she'd first met him. Five years old but still as accurate as the day it was taken according to the PI - he hadn't been kidding.
After they'd run off from there own wedding they hadn't discussed Angela's current marital status - Jack didn't ask and Angela didn't bother to offer an explanation. In fact they didn't discuss a great deal of anything - simply jumped on the first plane that was taking off and spent the next five days in a grand-oak four poster bed somewhere on the edge of Paris. He called to cancel their Honeymoon in New Zealand. She called Brennan to tell her where they were and that they'd be back in awhile. Aside from the fact that they left a little earlier than expected, when Zach called to tell them, he was being shipped out to Iraq earlier than planned, everything was perfect.
It wasn't until they got back and people started asking questions that Jack found himself wondering where they were heading next.
It was another week later, after Jack found himself shrugging off yet another joke about a reception missing its bride and groom, when Angela finally brought it up.
"His name was Harrison" she'd begun unexpectedly.
"First or last name?" he'd been trying to lighten the mood, yet only succeeded in making her look even more distressed.
"I…have…no…idea" she admitted taking the seat opposite him "We didn't really know a lot about each other. All I know for certain is that he was the model for an art class I was attending in London, and, we hit if off straight away. I thought I was in love with him, so a month later when he asked me to marry him we headed straight to Fiji" She smiled nervously and Jack wondered if she expected him to say something. When he didn't she ran a hand through her hair before dropping it back into her lap "We were together less than a week before we realised it wasn't going to work out, and neither of us figured that the ceremony had been legit so we split up. I came here, got a job at the Jeffersonian and met you. He… I have no idea…I haven't seen or spoken to him since I boarded that plane" Jack nodded, not entirely sure why she was suddenly telling him all of this. She took in a deep breath,
"I'm going to find him Jack. I'm going to hire a private detective and I'm going to sort all of this out"
"Ok, if that's what you want we'll get on to it right away. I'll make some calls in the morning and we-"
She shook her head, "I said I'm going to sort it out Jack. It's my problem…I'm the one who ruined….everything-" he started to protest but she ignored him "-I'm the one who's going to fix it"
During their first meeting the Private Investigator had heard the name Hodgins, knew instantly who and what he was and Jack could practically see him imagining the dollar signs springing into Angela's eyes the second she met him - If only he knew the truth, maybe then, three weeks after she'd hired him, as he'd pushed the portfolio across the table towards them. Filled with it's long list of beach condo's, pilot licenses and black and white pictures of some guy with movie star good looks and no record of any other serious relationships after Angela "broke his heart", his smirk wouldn't have been so smug, that Jack felt the over welling urge to punch him. He knew what the guy was thinking, "What's a girl like Angela going to want in a guy like him, when she's already married to a guy like that". Not that Jack could blame him, of course - when he looks at the photograph, and thinks of the beautiful woman who was sitting next to him, he can't help but ask himself the exact same thing. Even as she'd laced her fingers with his, encouragingly.
He'd booked the restaurant for seven, but he hasn't seen her since one and with midnight, rolling around it's almost eleven hours since the last time he's seen her. He tries to put his anxieties down to the fact that it's late and she hasn't called him yet. That this is the longest he's been away from her since she'd agreed to move in with him, but he isn't fooling anybody, especially not himself.
He's trying not to think about it. Not about, what outfit she chose to wear, not about what the two of them could be talking about, not about anything - But there's nothing to watch on television, he's already eaten, thanks to Dominoes pizza, and he knows for a fact that he won't be able to sleep no matter how much he tries. So all he can do is wait.
As the clock hits midnight, he finally gives into his impulses and is reaching for the phone and punching in her cell phone number, when he suddenly hears the key in the door.
Freezing, he listens as she goes through the routine she quickly grew accustomed to upon moving in. Places her keys on the table, puts down her bag, takes off her coat and kicks of her shoes. He tries not to think too hard about the delay between kicking off her shoes, and making her way to the main room, simply leans back in his chair, and tries not to hold his breath.
"Hey, I didn't think you'd still be up" she greets, finally appearing in the doorway.
Jack shrugs hoping that the half-hearted smile he offers her looks genuine, even though he knows it's doesn't and turns towards the doorway. Immediately his eyes go to the tight grey jeans and vintage style purple top that she's wearing, the hair that falls around her shoulders in waves. It's nothing compared to some of the things she's worn to go out to dinner with him but he still thinks she looks amazing, and is glad that he wasn't around for her to ask him "How do I look?"
"I couldn't sleep" he replies eventually and Angela smiles.
"Well I'm exhausted" she begins yawning "so I'm going to go on up to bed, ok?" he nods, even though he's desperate to ask her how her meal went, before leaning forward and putting the phone back into it's cradle. Hesitantly, she turns and moves to head towards the staircase, but even before, she's taken a step she stops and glances over her shoulder towards him.
"I love you Jack," she whispers. It's the first time she's said it without being prompted or on reflex cause, he'd said it first, and even though he knows, he should be happy about that fact. He feels as though there's something else in her voice and is encouraging her with an overly forceful "but?" even before he's decided what that 'something' might be.
"But what?" she asks, sounding surprised and turning around to face him once more. Suddenly the stupidity he's been denying all evening comes crashing back to him with full force and he wants to take it back. To keep his mouth shut and let her go off to bed where he'd have joined her within minutes, willing to wait until she was ready to tell him what was on her mind - just like he always did. But it's too late now; because he can tell by the way her eyes grow wide, that she's already figured out what he's thinking, so instead he hears himself telling her
"This is the part where you're supposed to break my heart" he wants to add 'again', but knows he's already acting childish enough.
When she doesn't protest straight away, simply turns her attention to the floor. He's suddenly 20 years old again, only it's Clarrisa who's standing in the doorway, Clarrisa who's finding it easier to stare at the carpet than look him in the face and he can hear the words as clear as if it happened yesterday.
"I love you Jack…but there's somebody else"
"Terry and I love each other"
"We're going to be happy"
"You and I just wouldn't work out; we've always been better friends"
He isn't entirely sure whether that last comment had actually been said or if it was something, he was imagining right now, with Angela's voice and Angela's sympathetic smile trying to soften the blow.
"Why would I be about to break your heart?" It's her real voice, and the genuine shock laced with it, that finally breaks him out of his bitter reverie.
"You said you were in love with him," he admits.
"I said I thought I was in love with him," she corrected. Jack rolled his eyes.
"You married the guy after knowing him for a month-" She moved to speak but changed her mind as he continued, "-we've known each other for three and a half years Angela, we've flirted continuously since the day we met." An exasperated laugh escapes his lips "It took me almost dying for you to realise what I'd already known for years and finally agree to go out with me, despite already having a perfect date. We've been dating for 6 months. I've proposed to you twice, and you only agreed to marry me when I told you that I didn't care if we were married or not, either way I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Apparently thinking you were in love had been good enough back then"
"So what? You think that means nothing to me. That all that effort and patience was just you wasting your time? And that I'm going to walk away from all of that just because some guy who I haven't seen for the past 4 years suddenly walks back into my life?" It's his turn to study the carpet now even though he knows she's waiting for an answer, an answer he can't honestly give without knowing he'll sound like an idiot who should have never started this conversation in the first place. So instead, he says,
"You flew out to the desert to spend 3 weeks a year with a boyfriend you never saw other than then. I didn't think picking up where you'd left off was a problem for you" It's a shallow blow, bringing her relationship with Kirk into this conversation, one he doesn't want to admit would cut so deep until the tears spring into her eyes.
"Right-" she begins trying not to let it show in her voice "-and you're an expert at being dumped by your fiancés" Her composure doesn't stick and Jack can tell she's fighting back sobs as she brings up his own past failings. Shallow blow for shallow blow and Jack knows he deserves it.
For a long time they both just stop there, her exhaustion and journey to bed seemingly forgotten for the time being. Eventually she takes in a deep breath and Jack turns back to face her, only to find an anger and determination he's never seen in her before.
"You ridicule Zach-" she begins breaking the silence, her throat still tight with unshed tears "-but at least he understands that not everything can be learned at the lab or inside one of his expensive text books. He knows that he hasn't lived or loved enough to know everything there is to know. But you have Jack. You've lived, you've loved and you've lost, probably more than most people I know and yet you haven't learned anything. With your three doctorates, people just presume that you’re a genius, that you know all there is to know….but you don't" she releases a mirthless laugh and Jack feels as though she should have been shouting at him, screaming at him for not trusting her and running up stairs to grab her things and never look back, but she doesn't.
"I may not have all those fancy letters after my name like you, and Brennan or Zach but at least I can learn from my mistakes. Marrying Harrison was one of the biggest ones I've ever made, so, was keeping Kirk at arms length, probably, and even though I might not have realised it at the time, I'm actually glad that I made them, 'cause otherwise I doubt I'd be standing here with you right now. When I left Harrison I promised myself that I'd never rush into anything like that again, that I wouldn't say yes until I was a hundred and ten percent certain that I was making the right decision. That's why I never married Kirk…." Finally the tears began falling freely and Jack didn't want to hear anymore, didn't need to hear anymore and yet he still didn't move "-that's why when I realised that I could never be without you, I wanted us to get married as soon as possible" she wiped her eyes and finally began walking into the room. With each step, he had the briefest notion of her reaching into her pocket, but he wasn't really paying attention, instead focusing on her words. "That's why I still wanted us to get married as soon as possible. I'm sorry I screwed up Jack. I'm sorry that I didn't realise jumping over a broomstick, and saying a few choice phases in front of some guy wearing a grass skirt actually classed as being married - Next time I'll get Elvis to conduct the ceremony, at least then I'll know it's legal" he wished he had laughed, by the defeated sigh that followed, she wished he had too.
"You know what I'm really sorry for?" this time she didn't expect an answer "I'm sorry that you're so much of an idiot, you can't even realise what's staring you right in the face".
Standing directly in front of him now, with only the coffee table between them, he finally looked up at her, making eye contact for the first time that night. Gone was the anger and determination he'd seen in her features only moments before, replaced now with an unmistakable mixture of loss and confusion - the same mixture he'd seen in his own reflection when Clarrisa had walked out the door - the irony almost made him laugh. The idea that he was the one who was walking away, that he was the one giving her an easy way out, that he was the one who was giving up, hadn't even occurred to him.
Instead, he tried to think of something to say, and that was when he spotted it, the cluster of papers she was holding out towards him. White, A4, stapled in the top left hand corner and covered in neat black print, nothing special to the naked eye and yet it took all other thoughts away from him.
He didn't even realise that she was expecting him to say something until she dropped it onto the coffee table in front of him, and walked out of the room, leaving him to bury his face in his hands.
All evening Jack had been imagining every scenario he thought was possible and yet this, this hadn't been one of them. Instead, he'd searched for reason, after reason for why she'd be coming back from that top of the line restaurant, and telling him she was leaving him. That was why he'd ignored everything that told him if he looked deep down and thought about it, he already knew the truth, already knew that he should stop feeling sorry for himself, already knew that he was acting like an idiot and that he didn't need anybody, but himself to point that out.
Angela was nothing like Clarrisa, had never shared a single character trait with the woman who'd left him for his best friend, in the three and a half years that he'd known her - he knew that. He knew that because, like Angela had said you learn from love, and loss. You learn to recognise the girls who are only interested in a one night stand, or the amount of cash you keep in your wallet and Angela's never been like that with him - Hell she wouldn't have even been living in the mansion, if he hadn't of been so persistent.
He's on his feet before that thought has even left his mind. He doesn't need to open the document, see its header, read the small print or check the two signatures that are no doubt sitting side-by-side, because suddenly he's realised what that "everything" she mentioned earlier actually is.
Charging through the doorway he doesn't wonder why she hasn't started up the staircase yet, or made it out the front door - he's merely thankful for it. Cause now as he reaches out for her hand and pulls her around to face him - even though he feels as though he should be apologising to her, telling her that he really is an idiot and how he understands if she never wants to be with him again - he doesn't care that his first instinct is to crash his lips against hers, before she has a chance to protest.
Instantly her hands come up to his chest, bunching his t-shirt beneath long slender fingers and for a moment he fears that she's going to push him away, that this time he really has screwed up and there's no going back. It isn't until his one hand is tangling in her hair, the other coming to rest against her hip, that she finally starts kissing him back, chest heaving, lips tasting like the last remnants of salty tears and cherry flavoured lip-gloss. Slowly her hands relax, splaying out across his chest before snaking around his back and pulling him flush against her, and despite everything. Everything they've already been through together, all that time and patience he's had to give her.
Jack cannot remember ever feeling more grateful, of being able to kiss her like this.
The End