Kool-Aid
So,
it’s 4:30 in the morning, been up a few hours after falling asleep before 8:00
last night. The strange sleep
patterns might be the source of these wonderings, but I rather think it just
demonstrates how deliciously wrong our brains work sometimes.
So, let me ask you, who’s having all this sex with common household glass pitchers in America’s Midwest? Why is there the need in recent advertising I’ve seen over the airwaves where the Kool-Aid Pitcher Guy is wearing PANTS???
What, we need to safeguard our children from this most phallic of icons? Now tell me, does he have a detachable dick somewhere that I was not aware of? Did they slip that in there when I wasn’t looking? No? Alrighty then. Don’t you think we should be worrying about more immoral things than whether or not this big goofy pitcher of Kool-Aid is covered from the waist down? Why does he even have a waist? It’s a pitcher. A Pitcher people…
Well, it’s 5:03 and it just sometimes makes me wonder…
So, let me ask you, who’s having all this sex with common household glass pitchers in America’s Midwest? Why is there the need in recent advertising I’ve seen over the airwaves where the Kool-Aid Pitcher Guy is wearing PANTS???
What, we need to safeguard our children from this most phallic of icons? Now tell me, does he have a detachable dick somewhere that I was not aware of? Did they slip that in there when I wasn’t looking? No? Alrighty then. Don’t you think we should be worrying about more immoral things than whether or not this big goofy pitcher of Kool-Aid is covered from the waist down? Why does he even have a waist? It’s a pitcher. A Pitcher people…
Well, it’s 5:03 and it just sometimes makes me wonder…