Hath Not a Jew pt. 2

[willows_whiten]

Part 1


I wasn’t aware of the time passage until many of our friends were gathered in Paul’s apartment.
“Alright, ready to start planning?” I asked, my blood starting to pump in excitement.
“Of course!” Jessica responded, from her spot on the couch. Her body practically shook from her adrenaline rush. I quickly grabbed a notebook and pen from my room.
It was miraculous that the apartment could hold so many people. Granted, we were probably breaking a fire ordinance, but the police would never know. Besides, it was for a good cause.
“We need to dispel the rumors,” Paul started our list.
“Cult. . .marriage. . .repent. . .” Jessica began reading keywords from the notes she had taken from the protestors.
“Choice,” Brad added.
“Disease,” Chloe suggested.
“Pressure to change,” Adam offered.
“We should also spread knowledge on being an ally,” I commented.
“GLAAD’s website has some good info for that,” Jessica said. GLAAD is Gays and Lesbians Alliance Against Defamation.
“Oh, provide websites and phone numbers.”
“AVP.” AVP is the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project.
“The Trevor Project.” The Trevor Project is a suicide prevention helpline for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, and those questioning their sexual orientation.
“GLSEN.” GLSEN is the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.
“Stop the Hate.” Stop the Hate aims to fight hate crimes at colleges and universities.
A couple hours later we had lists of everything we could think of to get our point across. We compared notes with the group coming up with projects and soon we broke up into smaller groups designing posters, pamphlets and other handouts. I was happy with how enthusiastic everyone seemed.
A couple days later, I stood in my kitchen, staring at the closed cupboards, tapping my foot. David Alton, a friend of Brad’s, came up behind me.
“Whatcha doin’?” Dave asked.
“Baking something for my class.”
“Isn’t that Paul’s major? Why not have him bake something?”
“Because he’s afraid that his whole class will then fall in love with his boy toy,” Brad said upon entering the room.
“Paul’s not my boy toy. And I wanted to do it because it’s for my class.”
“Mmm-hmm,” Brad said, taking a bite from the apple he had grabbed from the fridge.
“I know, I’ll make Snowy Heart Cutouts.”
After putting the dough mix into the bowl, I realized I didn’t have any eggs. With a sigh, I grabbed my cell phone.
“Hi Tom.”
Paul had a weird habit of taking full-advantage of his caller I.D.
“I know the cardinal rule of baking is read all instruction first, but I’ve started making cookies and realized we don’t have any eggs. Do you have any?”
“First of all, that’s the cardinal rule in anything. Secondly, yes. How many do you need?”
“One. Thank you.”
“You owe me.”
“Yeah yeah.”
Paul stood in my kitchen, a bag with an egg in his hand.
“You can have it on one condition.”
“What?”
Paul quickly kissed me.
“That.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Thank you,” I said taking the bag.
“Do you need any more help?”
“Nope, I don’t believe so.”
“I should probably stick around so I can test one. You know, make sure they’re edible before you poison your class.”
“How nice of you to sacrifice yourself for the good of my class. Although are you sure you aren’t just offering because you know they’ll be amazing?”
“Maybe.”
I walked into the classroom and placed the tray of cookies on the table. Soon we were all assembled on the floor.
“I have the order of assignments on the overhead. If you have any questions, just ask. Feel free to help yourself to some food, and then organize your files.”
A couple minutes of idle chit chat later, Kellie said, “Oh my god, these cookies are freaking amazing. Who brought them?”
I glanced and realized it was one of mine.
“I did.”
“Did you make them?”
“Yes.”
“I am taking you home with me.”
Everyone laughed.
“Hey Paul,” I said into my cellphone after class. “This girl Kellie in my class offered to take my home.”
“Did you tell her you were taken?”
“Well, she’s kind of cute. . .”
Paul laughed.
“So I take it the cookies were a hit?”
“Yes, but there are some left over. Come over today and I’ll give you some.”
Four days later I was blindfolded in the passenger’s seat of Paul’s car.
“Where are we going?” I asked again.
“Wait and see.”
When we arrived, Paul helped me out of the car.
“You ready?” he asked.
“No, I’ve gotten used to the blindfold. I kind of like having it on.”
With a laugh, Paul pulled it off.
“The zoo!” I exclaimed, hearing my voice go unnaturally high. “Do we get to see the polar bears?”
“Of course!”
“Oh boy am I excited!”
Hand-in-hand we wandered through the zoo, not caring about the looks we were receiving. It was a beautiful day, the sun was warming my arms, and I was given the opportunity to act like a child again. What was not to love?
“Let’s take pictures with the stone polar bear!” Paul suggested when we got to the polar bear exhibit.
I quickly went and stood by the bear and made a silly face. Paul snapped a picture. He handed me the camera and went to pose himself. I took the picture. I held my hand out to give him the camera back, but he grabbed my wrist instead. I looked at him in confusion, but only for a moment, because then he pulled me to him and kissed me. We heard a gasp and turned around, to see a teenaged couple standing behind us. The four of us stood there for a moment, awkwardly looking at each other.
“But you don’t care if anyone sees the two of you kissing,” Paul said. “It’s the same thing.”
“Let’s go see the polar bears,” I said to Paul, not wanting our date to be ruined.
“They’re so beautiful,” I said in awe, watching the big white bears swim above our heads. We headed out to go watch them outside.
“Would you like to feed one?” a lady in her mid-thirties asked me.
“Really?” I questioned.
“Yeah.” She handed me a fish. “Just toss it in.”
I did as she instructed and watched in awe as the bear gobbled it up.
“Don’t you just love polar bears?”
“I do.”
“I’m Kelly,” she said, offering her hand.
“I’m Tom. This is my boyfriend Paul.”
“I thought you two were dating. How long?”
“Three months and four days,” Paul replied.
“Congrats!”
“Thanks,” we said simultaneously.
It was about a week later. The sun was shining and it was the day of our protest. It started off very calm, mainly just people ignoring us, and a couple of people throwing us looks of disgust. This was all part of a normal day of existence for me. Why did people have to be so narrow-minded? I shook my head, trying to release the negative thoughts.
“Hi, my name’s Tom. Do you have a moment?” I asked of a brunette with long legs.
“What’s going on?” she asked confused.
“We’re trying to spread the truth of the GLBT community.”
“The what?”
I was a little concerned she didn’t know, but maybe she wouldn’t bite my head off.
“Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender.”
“What’s the truth?”
“We’re humans too.”
“That’s all?”
“Well only in a nutshell. Here, take this and you can read about what we want as far as gay rights, and the like.”
I handed her a pamphlet.
“Thank you.”
“Have a good day.”
“You too.”
I glanced over and saw Brad had a small gathering around him.
“Here’s the star of the show himself!” Brad announced when I walked over.
His little crowd applaud.
“Thank you,” I said bowing.
“You may want to check in on what I was saying to them before you thank me.”
“We’re you making me sound human?”
“Yes.”
“Then thank you.”
People seemed to be eyeing us, but keeping their distance.
“We don’t bite,” I offered, but my corniness went unappreciated as corniness usually does.
Jessica was getting a bit aggressive, and was approaching people and thrusting pamphlets at them. That was what began it all.
She went to hand a pamphlet to this petite, blond-haired girl saying, “We’re just looking for equality for gays.”
The girl backed away from Jessica, eyeing her nervously. I paused, recognizing the girl. I had had Psychology 101 with her. Our only interaction had been when she had muttered under her breath that our assignment was gay and I had told her that she shouldn’t say things like that. She had sarcastically accused me of being gay and I had informed her that I was. After that she would go out of her way to avoid me. Jessica had been with me once when this happened and she questioned it.
Jess, please be careful, I thought.
Jess began following the girl, and grabbed her so the girl would stop. The girl whipped around and started screaming,
“Eww! Get away from me! You’re going to give me AIDS! Get away from me, lesbo!”
“First of all, I’m not a lesbian. And even if I was, you couldn’t get AIDS from me by taking a piece of paper from me.”
But the girl didn’t seem to be listening. When the girl’s tall, husky boyfriend came to stand beside her, I quickly hurried over just in case Jessica would need some back up. I wasn’t there to rescue her, mind you; Jess never needs to be rescued.
“Hey, get away.”
He pushed Jessica away from his girlfriend.
“Leave her alone.”
I don’t believe in hitting females.
He turned and looked at me.
“Let me guess, you’re a faggot, right?”
I gave him a leveled look. I was not getting in a fight with this guy. Apparently he wasn’t afraid of getting AIDS through contact, because he attempted to punch me in the jaw. Luckily, I dodged just in time. And thus began our spectacle, of him falling all over himself in attempt to try and hit me, and my avoiding him. The rest of our group took the opportunity to pass out the flyers and pamphlets. Jess told me later, they bribed people to take them as a means of admission to watching our fight. I became so fed up with the game that I paused long enough to slug the guy across the chin and knock him to the ground. He laid there for a moment, watching me. I heard a cheering go up.
“What do we want?” I shouted.
“Equality!” the surrounding crowd roared.
“When do we want it?”
“Now!”
I watched the guy scoot away from me, a nervous look in his eye. Yeah, you thought I was just another weak gay didn’t you?
I stared at the Calculus exam in front of me. The red 52% circled on top seemed to mock me. I had been so certain I had done well. I had studied for so long. I couldn’t wait to get back to the apartment, and when I did I stormed up to my room and slammed the door. I buried my face in my pillow, the anger and uselessness I felt bringing tears. I heard a knock at my door.
“Go away!” I shouted, knowing that Brad would forgive when I apologized in a couple of hours. I whispered the request into my bed as I placed my pillow over my head.
"That's no way to treat your boyfriend."
Paul sounded so hurt that I started regretting my tone. I stood up and opened the door, then returned to my bed where I cuddled my pillow to my body.
“What’s wrong?” Paul asked, pulling my desk chair up to my bed
“It’s silly. It’s stupid. I already feel horrible that I was so mean to you. I don’t need you to know just how pathetic I am. Really, I’m just being a baby.”
Paul moved to sit on the edge of my bed.
“Sit up,” he said gently.
I had no choice but to sit up with my back against the wall. Paul moved to sit next to me.
“Put your head on my shoulder.” His voice was gentle so I couldn’t help but listen. “Close your eyes.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I felt his arms wrap around him. There was something comforting about, as if nothing bad could happen to me as long as I was in that position, which gave me the strength to tell him about the test.
“Now look at me.” Paul took my hands in his. “I want you to know and understand something: no matter how small something may seem, I want to hear about it, whether it be good or bad, because I love you and I want to share everything with you.
I felt myself give a small smile as I asked, “What did you say?”
“I love you.” His smile told me he hadn’t meant to say.
I couldn’t help myself from grinning. Paul touched my cheek.
“I love you too,” I said. I felt so giddy I thought I might laugh.
My eyes closed as I felt Paul’s lips upon mine.
[Time Lapse]
“May I ask you a question?” a young lady asked me.
“Sure.”
I studied her. She was barely over five feet. Her dark brown hair stopped at her chin, and held blonde and blue highlights.
“Why do you hate women?”
“Excuse me? I don’t hate women. I love my mom, my best friend is female.”
“Then why do you choose to sleep with men?”
I sighed, realizing the context of her original question.
“You’re attracted to men, right?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you have a best friend?”
“Three.”
“How many are female?”
“All of them.”
“Do you hate them?”
“No.”
“So, you don’t hate women, you just don’t feel a sexual attraction to them, correct?”
“Yes. . .”
I was worried I was starting to lose her on my train of thought. I hoped she’d hold on for one more thought.
“That’s how I feel. I love women. I’m just not in love with them.”
“Oh, I guess that makes sense.”
“Just because we love one person, doesn’t mean we hate another.”
“So you love your partner?”
“Very much.”
“Hmm. Okay. Thank you.”
“Thanks for asking. Have a great day.”
“What was that about?” Paul asked as she walked away.
“The fact that I kiss you means I hate women.”
Paul laughed.
“I wonder where these silly rumors start.”
Our school held an annual dance for all the seniors. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to be going, and much less, I couldn't believe I had a date. A knock came at my door.
"Come in," I called.
In the mirror I saw Brad walk in.
"Wow, it cleans up," Brad said. "Yet, you still can't take it anywhere."
"It's a good thing you're not the one trying then, isn't it?" I shot back.
"I feel like Jessica asking this, but, are you ready for this?"
"For what?" I asked, scrunching my eyebrows together.
"Well. . .two boys dancing together. . .not everyone will approve."
"Brad, not everyone approving is the story of my life. I have to learn to deal with it. I have no choice."
A knock at the main door prevent any further conversation.
"I'll go get it," Brad offered.
I turned back to the mirror, and ran a comb one last time over my hair.
"Wow. You look really good."
I smiled and went to welcome Paul with a hug.
"You look amazing yourself."
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yep."
We were two songs in when a girl came up to me.
"Hi, I was wondering if I could cut in."
I glanced at Paul.
"Go ahead," he ushered.
"My name is Gina."
She had strawberry blond hair intricately twisted upon her head. She looked up at me with big blue eyes as she pressed her body against mine. A slow song came on as I gently pushed her away.
"Umm, Gina. . ." I started.
"It's okay," she said soothingly.
I couldn't help but notice that her dress was a little too tight and a little too low cut.
"Gina. . ."
"I didn't plan for a slow song. Just go with it. By the way what's your name?"
"Tom."
I looked over her head for Paul. I didn't get far because a man who looked like he could bench 335 came up to us.
"Hey, did I say you could dance with her?" he bellowed.
"Nate," she whined.
"Don't you put your hands on her," he continued.
"Look. . .Nate. You have the wrong idea."
"He tried kissing me!" she whimpered.
I looked at her in disbelief.
"I guess that's all I need."
"Wait!" I yelled.
"What?" he asked, exasperated.
"I came here with someone. Why would I want to kiss her?"
"She's sexy. I can't help if you wanted to cheat on your girlfriend."
"I don't have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. Okay?"
Nate turned around and I thought I had gotten through to him.
"Gina, I'll be getting back--"
I was cut off when a fist hit me in the jaw.
"Dammit!" came from behind me.
I looked up and watched as Paul went over to Nate and punched him.
"Don't you dare touch him!" Paul threatened.
"Paul! Watch out!" I shouted, jumping to my feet as Nate swung at him.
I was too slow to intercept, but grabbed Nate's arms to prevent him from hitting Paul anymore. Soon some adults showed up with a couple of campus police who took Nate. Gina ran off after them.
"Paul, are you okay?" I asked, kneeling next to him.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he assured me, rubbing his chin.
"Do you want ice or anything?"
"No. . .oh, probably should as a safety precaution."
I helped him up. We got some ice and then decided to sit in the hallway.
"Thank you Paul," I said, looking at him holding the makeshift ice pack to his chin.
"That's what you do for the people you love," he shrugged.
"Hey hey, don't brush off your actions like that. It means a lot to me."
I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to me.
"You mean a lot to me. I couldn't just stand there and let some stupid girl frame you," he said.
"Want to know a secret?" I suddenly asked.
"Of course."
"I wish I could hold you always," I whispered in his ear.
He removed the ice pack from his jaw so he could look up and nuzzle my nose with his.
"You know that can be arranged."
"Are you offering?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm just saying."
He took the icepack and placed it on my chin.
"You, sir, also got hit."
"Okay, okay, you win!"
"Of course I do! I'm the brains in this couple."
I playfully swatted him.
"So, what do you think? Go back inside, or go home?"
"Honestly? I kind of want to go back in. I never got to slow dance with you," I answered after some thought.
And I got my wish. For as we walked in, the DJ announced it was the last song. As the music began, I placed my hands on Paul's lower back and placed my head against his.
"Do me a favor. Never ever let a girl cut in again," I quietly requested.
"How about if I never let anyone cut in ever again?"
"Even better," I replied laughing.
[Need transition with this info: The following June, I was still at my apartment, so I could hold my campus job all year round. ]
I felt myself being lifted onto a gurney.
"Can you tell me your name?" someone asked.
I think he had said his name was Zach.
"Tom. Thomas Parkers."
"Tom, we're going to take you to the hospital. Who would you like to be contacted?"
"Paul and my parents. Call Paul first he lives here. My parents live 75 miles away."
"Can you give me their numbers?"
I rattled off the numbers.
"Can I get you anything? Anyone?" the nurse said.
"Is Paul here?" I requested, the pain from merely talking bringing tears to my eyes.
"I'll go look. What's his last name?"
"Kearny."
After she left, I curled up in bed, my eyes squeezed tight, the pain making me cry.
"Tom," I heard Paul gasp.
"Paul," I said, and attempted to reach out to him, but cringed in pain.
"What happened? Are you okay?"
He looked near tears already.
"I'm so scared. I just wanted you. I didn't think I'd get to see you again."
"Oh baby," he crooned.
Paul lightly kissed my forehead, before placing his hand on mine.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"Tell me what happened."
"I was driving, and I stopped at the stoplight. The next thing I knew, I was half way into the intersection, and there was a car coming the other way. It all happened so quickly."
"How are you?"
"I hurt all over. It hurts so much."
"I wish I could take it all away from you."
Paul's voice was soft, but not really a whisper.
"I know sweetheart. But I wouldn't give it to you for anything."
And even though it hurt, I reached out and touched Paul's face. I needed the contact with him.
"Just be strong. I know you are," he said.
"You too. Please kiss me."
Paul smiled, as though he felt silly for not thinking of it sooner, and gently kissed me.
"Honey, can you do me a favor?" I said.
"Anything. Name it, and it's yours."
"Please stay with me. I don't want to be alone."
"I wouldn't dream of leaving. I'm here for you babe."
I closed my eyes as he ran a hand over the side of my face.
"Can I kill the person who did this to you? Please?"
"Only if you kill them with your flamboyancy. I don't want you in jail."
"Excuse me Mr. Parkers, but a Mr. Grobert would like to speak with you?" the nurse said.
"Who?"
"He says that he rear ended you."
"Oh. Umm," I looked over at Paul.
"What do I do? Do I see him?"
"I don't know. But if you do, don't say anything that will compromise you should you choose to take him to court; you don't have a lawyer present remember."
"Alright, let him in."
I turned to Paul and said, "Don't leave me."
"I wouldn't dream of it. You're in no position to try and jump him."
I laughed. A man in his late twenties or early thirties stood in the doorway.
"Tom Parkers?"
"Yes," I said.
He looked over at Paul and said, "May we have a little privacy?"
I shook my head.
"He's staying. Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him."
"I didn't see the light turn red. Honest. I have to pay a lot because my insurance won't cover the accident since they ruled it my fault. I'm sure your health insurance is covering everything, however if it isn't, please don't ask me to cover it. I mean, it wasn't completely my fault. I wasn't the one who t-boned you."
"Mr. Grobert, I'll have to ask you to leave,"
"Just, please don't sue me," were his last words to me.
"Can you believe that? The car that t-boned me was innocent. He was 100% guilty. I should sue him. I doubt my health insurance will cover this."
"Calm down hun. You don't have to worry about that right now. Right now, I only want you focusing on getting better."
I smiled up at Paul.
"Okay. I can do that."
Paul picked up my hand and kissed it.
"Thank you. You know I love you right?"
"I love you too," Paul said with a smile. "But I should be going. Visiting hours are ending soon. I'll be back tomorrow as soon as I can okay? Hang in there."
He lightly kissed me and left the room.
The next morning I turned toward the door when I heard a noise.
"Hi Mom and Dad," I said.
"Did we wake you?" my mom asked.
"No, you're fine. How are you doing?"
"Us? How are you doing?"
"I'm alive and awake. They've been giving me medicine so I don't hurt anymore."
"We've been looking into a lawyer. We called Paul for the details," my dad said.
"Okay."
"Oh sorry, you already have company. I'll come back later,” came from behind them.
"Paul, don't even think about it. Come in here," I said. "I wish you all were meeting under different circumstances, but, Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend Paul. Paul, these are my parents."
"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Parkers."
"Hi Paul," my mom said hugging him.
"Hello," my dad said.
"Were you in the car with him?" my mom asked, as Paul sat on the bed next to me.
My parents pulled up the chairs to sit on the other side.
"No. He was alone."
"I was checking out the new sports store that just opened. Paul, I'm so glad you weren't with me. You probably would have been killed."
Paul squeezed my hand.
"Did they tell you I'm going into surgery today? I guess it's no big deal, which is why they didn't do it right away."
As I said that, a doctor came in.
"Are you ready Tom?" he said.
"Yes sir.
"I'll see you three soon. I love you all."
Paul kissed my cheek and whispered, "We love you too."
"Hey sweetie," my mom said when I came to after the surgery. "It was successful. Paul went to use the bathroom, but he'll be back soon. Why didn't you introduce us before?"
"I was afraid that if I introduced you to my boyfriends, you'd get attached, and then if it didn't work out. . .I guess I wanted to protect you. Or maybe I just didn't want to listen to you be all like, 'Why aren't you with so-and-so anymore?'"
"Oh Tom. You don't need to protect me. I just want you to be happy. I trust your judgment in men. I wouldn't be one of those mothers who meddles in their son's love life. I'm just going to say that, at least for the time being, you and Paul are exactly what the other needs."
"He's great isn't he?"
"Yes. We talked while you were in surgery."
"You didn't embarrass me did you?"
"Of course."
"Tom! You're awake!" Paul said.
"I'll leave you two alone. Take it easy Tom," my mom said kissing my forehead.
"You're parents are great Tom."
"Thank you. They like you too."
Paul lightly kissed me.
"You know, when you get out, you'll have me, Brad and Jess waiting on you hand and foot."
I laughed.
"Okay, I can see you and Jess, but Brad?"
"We'll force him. He's living with you. He'll need to take some of the responsibility."
"You're the best you know that?"
“Anything for you. I just wish I could do more.”
“Oh baby,” I said.
I didn’t have to ask this time. He leaned in and kissed me. Then he gingerly ran his hand along my face, neck and arm.
“Whatever I can do to take away the pain, I’ll do it. I promise.”
A couple days later I was recovering in my own bed.
“Hey, how are you doing?” Paul asked.
He sat on the side of the bed where I was laying.
“Meh. A bit better.”
“You’re not trying to play brave for me are you?” Paul asked, rubbing my arm.
I smiled.
“No, I am doing a bit better. I still hurt like all get out, but I’m still better than I was when I first woke up and the pain meds had worn off.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“Actually, a little water would be nice.”
“I’ll be right on that.”
He kissed my forehead as he stood up.
“Is it time for your pills yet?”
“Nope, Brad gave me some about a half hour ago.”
“I’m glad he’s here, but I also feel like he’s kind of stealing my show.”
“Don’t worry, I still like you best,” I said.
“I’ll go get your water right now. But I’ll be back in a flash.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as he walked away. I realized how lucky I was to have someone as faithful and loyal as him. That was part of the reason I fall for him every day.
“Here you go. Anything else?”
I took a sip from the glass before responding.
“Well, since I’m on bed rest for a while, what do you say to having a bit of a Queer as Folk marathon this weekend?”
“I’d love to. Is it alright with Brad?”
“He’s going home this weekend.”
“I’ll come up with awesome movie marathon foods.”
“You’re the best you know?” I asked.
“No. I’m second best. You’re the best.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed.
“Do you know how much I fall for your each and every day?” I asked.
“I can imagine. Probably as hard as I fall.”
“I like this. I like us.”
“Me too.”
That Friday, I was lying on the couch as Paul put the first DVD in. Paul sat down on the floor in front of the couch.
“This isn’t fair,” I said.
“What?” Paul asked looking up at me.
“If I’m going to watch a movie with my boyfriend, then I want to watch a movie with my boyfriend.”
“Okay, but be careful.”
Paul helped me to sit up, put an arm around my shoulders as I leaned against him.
“This is more like it,” I said and Paul hit the play button.
[Time Lapse]
I was working on some homework I had due right before finals, when I was interrupted by a knock at the door. I got up to answer it and saw Paul.
“Hey sweetie, what brings you over?” I asked, kissing him in greeting.
“Just missing my boyfriend. Care for some company?”
“I’d love some. Brad went home because he said he’d rather study for finals there.”
“Oh well in that case. . .” Paul said, raising his eyebrow.
I laughed knowing neither of us would be doing anything of that nature until we were married.
“Come talk to me while I finish my homework.”
“Oh, you’re busy?” Paul said. “I can come back-“
“Nonsense,” I said. “It’s not hard work, so I can still do a good job on it, and pay attention to you.”
We had been talking for about an hour, when the lights went out.
“Damn it!” I said.
It was around 3:00 so it wasn’t too dark, but it was noticeable since the storm clouds had covered the sun.
“Let’s go gather some blankets in case it’s out for a long time,” I suggested. The only blankets we found were the ones from my bed and one from my closet.
The power did stay out long enough to make the room cold, so we bundled ourselves in the blankets as we talked. The next think I remembered was waking up, and my legs feeling numb. I panicked for a moment, scared it was a result of the cold, but then realized that someone was on top of me. Paul was on top of me.
“Hey, can we sit up?” I asked, feeling a bit groggy. “My legs have lost feeling.”
Paul rubbed his eyes, attempting to wake himself up fully. He glanced at his watch.
“It’s 6:30. I should probably head back.”
I glanced out the window and saw the snow coming down in a steady blanket.
“I can’t send you out in that.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“You’ll have to crash here. But I can’t let you sleep on the futon in just a blanket; you’ll freeze.”
We looked at each other for a moment, attempting to solve the problem, perhaps even trying to come up with something other than the obvious answer.
“When I was younger,” Paul began slowly, “and there would be power outages in the winter, I would get in bed with my parents because of the body heat.”
The thought had crossed my mind too. As I looked into those green eyes I loved so much, I knew there was no other option.
“Let’s put down the futon.”
“Let’s lay down a few grounds rules, just so we know we’re on the same page. No sex, and this doesn’t mean we’re making a habit out of this.”
“I totally agree. This is simply a ‘drastic times call for drastic measures’ situation.”
When it was time for bed, we both looked a little nervous as we stood in our pajamas beside the futon. Paul laid down, and held his arms out for me. I put the blankets over him and then climbed in. As he wrapped his arms around me, and I followed them with the blankets, I couldn’t help but smile. There was something nice about this.
“I love you,” he whispered into the back of my head.
“I love you too,” I murmured, afraid this was just a fantasy and that any sudden noise would awake me from it.
[Time Lapse]
“Hey, do you want to go on a date tomorrow night?” I asked Paul as we walked to class.
“Sorry can’t. I have plans.”
“Oh? With whom?”
“Friends.”
I didn’t want to, but I felt myself grow suspicious at his vagueness. What did he have to hide?
“Okay. Well, can we go out on my birthday?”
“Sorry, I have something going on. We’ll do something the next day. I promise.”
He lightly kissed me and walked into his classroom.
“Jess, what if he’s just like Kevin?” I bemoaned into my phone after my class.
“Honey he isn’t.”
“Com’on, none of us saw it coming with Kevin. And. . .I don’t mean to be egotistical, but shouldn’t he at least want to be with me on my birthday? What could he possibly have that is more important that he wouldn’t tell me?”
“Tom, you have to trust him.”
“I can’t Jessica. Not after Kevin. Not around my birthday. Not anymore.”
“I’m sorry Tom.”
I walked into my apartment the day of my birthday.
“Brad, I’m back!” I called.
I wasn’t sure if he was there, and I really didn’t care. I just felt like going up to my room and wallowing in the fact that my boyfriend didn’t want to spend the day with me.
“SURPRISE!” I heard as I passed the living room on the way to my room.
I stopped and realized all my friends were there, and the living room was decked out in balloons and streamers. I saw Paul grinning at me. I walked over and gave him a long kiss.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ll trust you from now on. I’m an idiot.”
“Hey, we’ll have this talk later. Right now, you have to celebrate being another year older.”
I smiled as he placed a party hat on my head. They sang happy birthday as Brad brought in the lit cake. As I blew out the candles, I couldn’t help but think that I didn’t have much to wish for since I had found out that Paul was to be trusted.
“Told you it was okay,” Jessica said.
I gave her a hug.
Paul and I sat on the couch after everyone else had left.
“I’m really sorry Paul.”
“It’s okay. I hate that I couldn’t have figured out something a little better to make you not suspect and yet not get you worked up. However, I am touched that you got jealous.”
“Really.”
“Yeah. You really like me, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He quickly kissed me, but as he pulled away, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a longer kiss.
“I swear, you haven’t given me any reason to think you’d be unfaithful. I just don’t want to get hurt again like I did with Kevin, so I’m trying to be on the lookout for the signs,” I said.
“Trust me, I’d never cheat on you. I promise. I care about you too much.”
Paul gently stroked my cheek.
“So this is why you didn’t want to go out with me today.”
“Yup. And last Friday was because we were planning for your birthday.”
“You’re the best, you know that?”
“Thanks.”
[Time Lapse]
"So, do you have any ideas as to what to get Tom for his birthday?" Brad asked Jessica as they walked along.
"It can't be," Jessica said in disbelief.
"What?"
He followed her gaze. He saw Kevin sitting with another young man.
"Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe they're just friends."
"Friends don't kiss like that."
Before Brad could stop her, Jessica marched up to them.
"How could you?" she accused.
"Girlfriend?" the stranger joked.
"Jess. . ."
"No. Don't 'Jess' me. He likes you. He trusts you."
"Please don't tell Tom."
"Why shouldn't I? You should, but you're too much of a coward. I hope someday you will realize just how much I hate you."
"Jess, you handled that all wrong," Brad said as soon as Kevin was out of hearing range.
"Brad. Tom is my best friend. I won't let him be deceived. Ugh, I could kill him."
"Jess, calm down. You can't just barge in and tell him."
"Then what do I do? Sit here and twiddle my thumbs and watch as my best friend is lied to day after day? I know this will kill him. But I've never lied to Tom and I don't plan on starting now."
"What's wrong?" Tom asked the moment he saw her.
"You now I love you, right?"
"Yes. . ."
"And I'd hate to hurt you?"
"Let's sit down," Brad urged. "On the floor."
"We. . .we saw. . ." Jessica stuttered.
A knock came at the door.
"Come in."
"Can we have some privacy?" Kevin requested.
"Tom. . .how do I say this? You're a great guy, really. I have no excuse for what I did. I've been seeing someone else."
Tom turned pale as the blood rushed from his face. He pinched his lips together and his hands began to shake.
"We want different things," Kevin continued. "I don't see the point of an exclusive relationship; after all it's not like I'm going to get married, and Jessica made it quite clear you have odd fantasies of a one-on-one relationship. Things just aren't going to work out between us.
"I'll show myself out." Kevin began to walk away, and then paused.
"I really am sorry," he whispered and then left.
Jessica walked over to Tom and touched his arm.
"I thought I loved him," he said quietly.
"I hate that you have to go through this," Jess said when she could no longer handle the stillness. "You're too good for this."
"Apparently I'm not.”
He covered his mouth with his hand and squeezed his eyes shut.
"I want to have the words to make it all better."
"I know Jess, but you can't."
He put an arm around her shoulders and she buried her face in his shoulder. Brad came over to where the two stood and the three silently hugged.
"Please be okay," Jessica whispered.
"I will Jess, I will." A tear rolled down his cheek.
As my story ended, I was brought back to present time. It was the first sixty degree day of the year, so Paul and I had decided to enjoy it by walking in the neighborhood just off of campus.
"What ever became of Kevin?" Paul asked.
"I don't know. But if I did, I'd thank him."
"What? What for?”
"If he hadn't cheated, you and I may never have had a chance."
Paul smiled, and squeezed my hand.
"We should be getting back. Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"I don't know, are you cooking Tom?”
"Shut up, you know I'm a good cook. Besides, I thought it might be fun to cook together."
"Alright I'm sold.”
"Tom? Tom Parkers?"
". . .Kevin. Wha-- What are you doing here?"
Paul took my hand; I'm sure he heard the nervousness in my voice. I felt a wave of nausea hit me.
"I'm enjoying the weather. I haven’t seen you on campus these last couple of years. How have you been?"
"Pretty good. Yourself?"
"Hanging in there. Would you like to go on a date sometime?"
I couldn't help but stare in disbelief.
"I have a boyfriend. And I don't cheat."
"We should go," Paul urged.
"It was nice seeing you again."
I ignored Kevin as we walked away. Any polite response would have been a lie.
"Hey, it's okay," Paul said, putting his arm around my shoulders.
"I know. I'm just a little shaken."
"As long as you're not stirred."
"What?"
I looked at him, feeling confused.
"I like it shaken. . .
"Not stirred," I finished with him.
I watched as Paul stood at the stove stirring shell noodles. I came up behind him and kissed his neck.
"This is my kind of cooking," Paul said, smiling.
"Is it done yet?"
"Would you like to try it?"
Paul stabbed a noodle. He held it in front of my mouth, and as my lips puckered to blow on it, Paul moved the fork, and kissed me.
"Screw the pasta, I found my dinner!"
I wrapped my arms around Paul's waist and began kissing him.
“Okay, I really need to finish this before the noodles burn,” Paul said as he pulled away.
I smiled as I watched him drain the pasta and add the pasta sauce. Then in a timing I could never figure out, the garlic bread and green beans were done. We at our dinner with some idle chit chat, and for some reason I can’t explain, a lot of the “I can’t catch him looking at me” stares that you normally only do on a first date.
“What’s for dessert?” I asked.
“Chocolate fondue and strawberries,” Paul said, bringing out the ingredients and machine.
After the chocolate was melted, I twirled a strawberry in chocolate and at it.
“This is the best fondue I’ve ever had,” I said.
“I’ll make it better,” Paul said.
“Really? How?”
Paul covered a strawberry in chocolate and wordlessly put it to my lips. I couldn’t help but look into his eyes as I bit into it. I went to return the favor, but somehow managed to miss his mouth and got his chin instead. I began laughing.
“Oh dear, you can tell I’m the romantic one.”
“How about if I help?” Paul said laughing as well.
He guided my hand to his mouth so he could eat the strawberry.
After dessert, we stretched out on the floor facing each other.
"There was this guy. . .Josh, whom I went to high school with. He was so cute.
"Hi, I'm Josh."
Paul shook his offered hand.
"I'm trying out for the team next year."
Paul was captain of the football team.
"Um, this might sound a bit forward, but I was curious if you could help me out and make sure that I'm in good condition come tryouts?"
"Okay, sure. Would you like to practice tomorrow morning, say. . .at nine o'clock?"
"Sounds good."
"We'll meet here."
"Okay."
"I'll see you then."
As the days passed, Paul and Josh spent more and more time together.
"Josh! Josh!" Paul called one day.
Josh stopped and turned around.
"What?"
"Why didn't you tell me your grades were slipping? I could have helped."
"It was personal. I was only telling my good friends and family."
As Josh walked away, Paul realized Josh had never confided in him like Paul wished he would.

"Aww that's sad," I said. "No worries, I confide in you."
"I know sweetheart."
"His loss," I assured him. "Sit up."
"Why?"
Without warning, I tackled him.
"No fair!" Paul shouted, pushing me off.
Then he paused to pull out his phone.
"It's my dad," he said, shocked, flipping it open. "Hello?"
I watched Paul as he spoke with his father for the first time in years. What could be so important? Paul closed the phone and put it down, not taking his eyes off of it.
"My mom died," he said emotionlessly. "My dad told me to stay here until the viewing and funeral so I would miss the least amount of class as possible.
I pulled him into a tight hug, worried that Paul wasn't crying.
"I should get going," Paul said, glancing at his watch.
"Don't go out alone. Would you like to spend the night here?”
I knew Henry had gone home for the weekend, and I hated to think of Paul being alone."
Paul nodded.
"Thanks Tom."
"When you were little, did your parents ever lay with you until you fell asleep?" Paul asked as he huddled under the blanket on the couch.
I was suspicious the blanket was more for comfort than warmth.
"Yes."
"Please don't leave me."
I took his hand.
"I'm here."
"Hey Tom, my dad said I could bring my boyfriend. Will you go with me?"
"Of course," I reassured. "I wouldn't have you driving alone. And besides, you're my boy."
I kissed Paul's forehead.
"Hey Tom?"
"Yes?"
Paul adjusted himself to look at me.
"I love you."
I smiled.
"I love you too."
I was awoken the next morning by my cell phone.
"Alright, alright, come over."
I hung up my phone.
"What is it?" Paul asked sleepily, sitting up.
"Jess is coming over. She has big news. How are you doing?"
I joined him on the couch.
"Better. Still a bit numb, but better."
I gently rubbed his arm.
"Tom. . .I didn't even know she was sick. How can I face my father?”
I didn't know how to answer, so I kissed his cheek. A knock at the door signaled Jessica's arrival.
"Is now not a good time?" she greeted me.
"You're fine. Come in. Paul learned last night his mom died."
"Oh goodness."
Jessica hurried over to Paul.
"I'm so sorry," she said hugging him.
"Thanks. I'll be okay. What's the big news?"
"I feel like a jerk."
"Jess, do it!"
I smiled from the doorframe. Paul really had become a part of our group. For some reason it kept amazing me. I guess I never expected to be able to find someone who so easily fit in with my friends. And I was glad. I don't know what would have happened if I had had to choose.
"Tom! Get over by your boy now!" Jessica ordered, jabbing a finger at Paul.
I smiled wickedly and sat on his lap. His arms wrapped around my waist. Jessica stood in front of us like a school teacher.
"I have a boyfriend!"
"Jess! That's awesome!"
She smiled giddily before tackling us.
"You'll have to bring him over sometime," I said.
"Let's celebrate with breakfast," Paul suggested.
"I'll make omelets and coffee," Jessica informed us.
"Jess makes amazing omelets," I informed Paul. "But really Jess, you're a guest. You shouldn't have to cook."
"Nonsense, I love cooking. You know that."
"Who's cooking?" a sleepy-eyed Brad asked, coming down the stairs. "And why is Paul here? How long did I sleep?"
"It's ten o' clock. Paul spent the night. His mom just died. And Jessica has a boyfriend."
"I'm sorry, man," he said to Paul, offering his hand.
Paul politely shook it.
"And congrats."
"Thank you. Do you want an omelet?"
"Certainly."
"I'll make the coffee," I offered.
We were soon sitting around the kitchen table eating.
"In all the confusion, I forgot to tell you two who Paul and I ran into."
"Who?" Brad asked, taking a bite of omelet.
"Kevin."
Brad stopped chewing and Jessica's fork clanked on her plate.
"You guys, it's okay," I reassured. "I have a boyfriend, remember? A new boyfriend. A better boyfriend. That boyfriend."
"That one?" Jessica played along.
Jess was my Pirates of the Caribbean twin.
"That one."
"You're right, he is better," Brad said.
"Don't break his heart, or I'll break your skull," Jessica said.
"That won't be necessary. If I break his heart, I'll break my own skull," Paul replied, giving me a light squeeze.
The day we left for the viewing and funeral I offered to drive because I wanted to keep Paul safe. We kept the radio off, and few words were exchanged between us. I glanced over at Paul and grabbed his hand.
"I'm here for you," I offered.
"I know."
He paused, before adding, "Thank you."
"How are you doing?"
"Are you waiting for me to cry?" Paul asked.
He sounded as though he were half serious and half joking.
"It's you. . .yes."
"I will, I promise."
He squeezed my hand.
"This is it," Paul said quietly when I parked the car.
"Ready?"
"No. But we should go in anyway."
"Paul. . ."
"Hmm?"
I lightly kissed him.
"It'll be okay. I promise," I said.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
We headed into the funeral parlor.
"Hi Dad," Paul said awkwardly to the man standing by the door.
"Paul. You've really grown. This must be your. . .boyfriend."
I smiled politely and offered my hand.
"Tom," I said.
He paused a moment before shaking it.
"I'm learning Paul," his dad promised.
"I swear, I'm still the same person."
"I know. Or at least I will. Go say goodbye to your mom."
We stood before the casket.
"Mom, this is Tom. I wish you could have met him. You would have liked him."
I glanced at Paul before saying, "You did well in raising Paul. He's a wonderful man. I'm sure you're very proud of him."
Paul looked at me and said, "Thank you."
That was when he began to cry. I ushered him over to a couple of seats and held him.
When it was Paul's turn to go speak about his mom, I gave his hand a squeeze of encouragement.
"The greatest thing my mother ever gave me was encouragement. My parents were the first two people who I came out to. My mom was supportive from the very beginning. I would call her and tell her about my dates with Tom and she was so happy. I wish I had found the time to go and introduce them. She kept saying she wanted to meet Tom. If I had known she was sick, we would have gone. My mom was strong and stubborn. She wouldn't let anyone know she was suffering. I loved my mom. I can remember being no older than two or three and she would lay in bed with me while reading a book to me. Then she would stay there until I fell asleep. As I dozed off, she would kiss my head and say, 'Goodnight angel.' Tom, don't get any ideas."
He pointed an accusatory finger at me. Some people laughed. I raised my hands in mock protest, grinning. That was my baby.
The funeral came and went. Paul didn't have any time to relax until everyone was eating at the luncheon.
"Pauly-boy," a little old lady greeted him. "Now hear me and hear me well. I don't have a problem with who you are. You can't control that. But to act upon it, that's the sin."
Paul simply shook his head and left.
"Well, I'll be," the old lady said. "He was never this rude until he met you."
"His mother just died. Please give him a break."
"Why can't you realize you're living in sin?"
"We're just looking for love and happiness. Just like everyone else. I don't see what's so sinful in that."
With that I went in search of Paul. I found him sitting outside on the porch.
"I wish it would all just go away," Paul said.
"What?"
"The judging."
"There is one way."
"What's that?" he asked, looking at me.
"Get rid of me."
"No," he said forcefully. "No. You're the only thing in my life that makes sense right now. I won't be stupid and let you get away. Besides, I made a promise to Jessica and myself that I would never break your heart."
I couldn't help but smile.
"Good, because I have every intention of sticking around."
Paul smiled at me.
"I hope you know how much you've helped me," he said, as he began to rub my back.
"I'm glad you feel that way, because that was what I was trying to do."
"Alright, we should probably be getting back," Paul said, though his tone denote a different feeling.
I put my arm around his shoulders in attempt to comfort him as we returned.
After everyone had left, Paul and I sat on the couch while Paul's dad sat rigidly in the chair across from us.
"I wish your mom was here; she would have known what to say."
"You can't hide behind her, Dad."
"I know."
He ran a hand through his graying hair.
"I just don't know what to say. It's still so weird."
"It shouldn't be," I interjected. "Our relationship isn't any different than it would be if I was a girl. I mean, besides the fact that it takes me half as long to get ready for a date."
Paul's dad gave a half-smile at my joke.
"So you still follow the morals that we taught you?"
"Yes Dad."
"Hmm. Are you two living together?"
"No Dad. Tom lives with his friend Brad and I live with Henry."
"How did your parents take it Tom?"
"They were shocked at first, but they've been very loving and accepting."
"Dad, why didn't you let me know Mom was sick? She should have met Tom."
"You're right. I'm sorry. I was mad. I don't have a reason, only excuses. I wasn't ready. I'm not sure I am now. . .but your mother's dying wish was for us to reconcile."
His dad paused before asking, "Does Tom make you happy?"
Paul looked at me.
"Yeah, he does."
"And does Paul make you happy?"
Just the mention of his name was enough to make me smile, and I think that was answer enough.
"And you two look out for each other?"
"Yes Dad."
"It's been a long day, I'm heading to bed. Goodnight boys."
"Goodnight!" we chorused as stood up.
"It was nice meeting you Tom."
"You too sir.
"So how are you doing?" I asked, placing my hand on top of Paul’s which rested on his knee.
"Surviving," he answered truthfully. "It helped that Dad's talking to me."
"Your dad seems nice," I offered.
"Yeah, especially now that he's taken an interest in us. I mean, he seems to be getting back to where he was when I was a child."
“You know you make me happy, right?" I asked after a moment of silence.
"Yes," he said, laying his head on my shoulder and snaking his arms around mine in possession.
He looked up at me and he looked so content, that I couldn't help but to smile and lightly kissed his forehead.
"Who was your first love?" Paul questioned casually.
"Love or boyfriend?"
"Both."
"First boyfriend. . .that would be Donald Kryztafers. Eighth grade. That ended because he wasn't actually gay."
"Experimenter?"
"No. . .he was trying to get back at his ex-girlfriend."
"Ouch."
"Alright, my first love?"
I paused, then said, "You know how it is when you think each new boyfriend is your true love, and then you and him break up and you realize it never could work?"
"Yeah."
"I think I know who my first love was, but I don't want to jinx anything. Okay, you're turn. First boyfriend. I won't make you do the second part.”
"First boyfriend. Actually Josh. . .well, no, he wasn't a boyfriend. But he was the first guy I thought I had a crush on. I thought I loved him.”
[Time Lapse]
It was 3:02 and I had class in six hours. But when my phone vibrated and said, “New text message from Paul” I chose to read it. I need to talk was all it said.
“Tom, what are you doing here?”
“Your text sounded concerned. Where else would I be?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sent anything. You need sleep.”
“Paul, I’m serious. This is where I need to be. I love you.”
Paul smiled.
“Thank you,” Paul said, ushering me into the living room.
I sat on the loveseat and held my arms out for Paul who sat beside me, laying his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around Paul.
“I miss her,” Paul said quietly.
“It’s okay. You’re supposed to.”
“I want to be strong.”
“You are.”
“Then why do I feel so helpless?”
“Because she was your mother. We never really expect our parents to die.”
I could feel his body shake as he began to cry. All I did was tighten my arms around him.
“It’s okay baby. Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I’m here.”
“It’s not fair. And I keep thinking over and over how she should have met you. She wanted to meet you. I told her all about you. But I put it off. I don’t even know why anymore.”
[Time Lapse]
"What do you think you'll miss most when you die?" Paul asked one day when we were lounging in my living room.
I rolled on to my stomach, and pushed myself up on my forearms.
"Love. The way I feel about you, the way I feel about Jess. The knowledge that there is someone there that will come to your rescue no matter what. Having someone that will kiss your boo-boos--"
"Boo-boos?"
"I wish I had a pillow to throw at you," I laughed.
"Sit up," Paul ordered.
As I did so, he came and sat next to me.
"I have a better idea."
His arms were strong and secure as he tightly embraced me. I could feel the shaking of his body as he began to laugh.
"I was just thinking about how I thought you and Jessica were an item."
I couldn't help but laugh myself.
"Nah, she's not really my type."
"I'm glad for that. So then, what is your type?"
"Strong and handsome."
"Why are you with me then?"
I playfully swatted him.
"You look good and you know it."
Just then my phone began to ring.
"Jess, what's up?"
"Turn on the news."
"--has just legalized gay marriage."
I let out a whoop.
"I'm coming over to celebrate," Jessica said.
"I can't believe it. I never thought I'd see it happen," Paul said in awe.
I sat there and grinned at him, feeling like a Cheshire cat. We exchanged a look and I grabbed his shirt, pulling him down on top of me in a kiss.
"Woah! Company in the room!"
I could feel my face flush.
"Look who I found trying to break into our apartment," Brad said.
"Hi Jess," Paul greeted her.
"I'm so happy for you guys!" she squealed, sitting down with us.
I pulled her into a hug, and I felt Paul and Brad join in.
"This calls for a celebration!" Paul announced.
He grabbed a couple of coffee mugs and a bottle of Cranberry juice cocktail from the fridge.
"To our state, for finally gaining the sense to legalize gay marriage," Paul said, holding up his mug in a toast.
"And to my two favorite boys, may you always find happiness," Jess added.
"Hey, I'm hurt!" Brad said, pretending to pout.
"Two of my favorite boys," Jessica corrected.
"To my roommate, you deserve this," Brad said.
"And to all those who want to marry for love. May they find it, and hold on to it. After all, they say there's nothing greater. I know I haven't found anything."
We clinked our mugs together.
[Time Lapse]
“Hey Tom!” I heard from behind me.
I turned around and saw Paul running toward me. As he neared, I could see the rings under his eyes, and I could tell he was tired.
“Are you off to class?” he asked when he was beside me and we had started walking.
“Yes. I have a finance class,” I said.
“Where at?” Paul asked before yawning.
“Pullman.”
“I’m in Swartz. Mind if I walk with you?”
“That’s a silly question,” I said, taking his hand.
“I know,” he said with a smile.
“So, what’s up?” I asked.
“I’m ready to hurt Henry.”
“Oh no. Why?”
“His alarm goes off at 5:00 every morning because he’s working the morning shift. Except, he hits his snooze at least five times, and each time it goes off, I hear it.”
“You should talk to him.”
“I know. I’m just not looking forward to that confrontation.”
“You’re a very empathetic person. I’m sure you can find a way of wording it so it will all work out.”
“Thanks. I’ll keep you updated,” Paul said.
“Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
“Feel like being empathetic for me?”
“What’s the problem?” Paul asked with a laugh.
“There’s this girl in my accounting class and she’s a flaming Conservative.”
“Ouch.”
“She thinks everything a Democratic government does is the worst thing in the history of the country. It could be something tiny, but it’s still worse than the Vietnam War.”
“Remember, she’s probably in support of Vietnam.”
“Or doesn’t know it existed.”
“Tom!”
“You haven’t heard her. She’s the epitome of the closed-minded Republican. Viewpoints other than hers don’t exist. And she rants.”
“Do you have that class tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Well, good luck. She’ll be all over the legalization of gay marriage from yesterday.”
“Ugh. How do I react?”
“Be an open-minded Democrat. Refute her points, but remain calm. Don’t get personal.”
“As a gay man you expect me not to get personal about gay marriage?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“I know it sounds like a weird piece of advice. But to deal with her you have to be one step above her.”
“I’ll try,” I said.
“I believe in you. This is my classroom.”
“How about if I pick you up and we can do lunch?”
“I can’t wait.”
The next day I nervously sat in my accounting class.
“Hi Tom!”
“Hi Stacie.”
“So, oh my gosh, did you watch the news two days ago? Horrible! Horrible! Oh my god, like what is our country thinking? Legalizing gay marriage is the worst thing they could have done! Such a dark day in our history!”
“Why is it so bad?” I asked as diplomatically as I could muster.
“Oh, it’s not like they actually love each other. They just want special benefits so they can cause drama.”
I clenched my teeth for a moment, trying to keep the flames inside of me.
“How do you know? How many homosexuals do you know?”
“What’s to know?”
“How would you feel if someone came up to you and told you that it was impossible for you to love anyone?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Why?”
“Because everyone knows straight people can love.”
“Explain to me then the high rate of divorce.”
“What does that have to do with gays marrying?”
“Your main argument against it is basically to say how perfect heterosexual marriage and that homosexual marriage is just going to ruin that. Heterosexual marriage isn’t perfect and homosexual marriage won’t affect it.”
“Whatever you’re weird,” she said and moved down a couple of chairs.
I pulled out my phone and texted Paul, “Im weird bc of my liberalness. Love tom.”
He soon texted back, “Ull have 2 fill me in”
I laid down on the loveseat in Paul’s apartment.
“I hate Conservatives,” I said.
“They’re not all bad,” Paul said, moving me so he could sit down and I could use his lap as a pillow.
I rolled on to my back so I was looking up at him.
“So tell me about the girl,” Paul said.
“Well, her name’s Stacie.”
I continued with the interaction from class.
“I’m very proud of you for standing up for what you believe in without stooping to a fight.”
“She really irritated me. Her arguments made no sense.”
“I know sweetheart. It irritates me too. But you’ll never be able to change her or people like her.”
“I think we’ve switched roles,” I said with a laugh. “Normally you’re the emotional one and I’m the one rationalizing not to get too mad.”
Paul interlocked his fingers with mine.
“That’s why we’re a good team.”
“I love you.”
“Meh, you’re not bad yourself.”
I laughed before sitting up to kiss him.
“Keep this in my mind: you’ll wind up happily married, and she’ll wind up bitter and alone.”
“I think I’m a horrible person for finding that funny.”
“It’s okay, I still love you,” Paul said with a shrug. “Even if you do just want to cause drama.”
“You’re doing it with me.”
“We’re just a whole case of dramatics.”
[Time Lapse]
“We need to talk,” Paul said.
“Why?” I asked, knowing no good could follow those words.
“I got accepted to a culinary school. In California.”
“But I’ll be here,” I blurted out, not paying attention to how selfish I’d realize I was being.
“I know.” Paul sounded irritated.
“I hate long distance relationships.”
“I know.” Paul was seemingly more irritated.
“Don’t get mad at me. You’re the one who wanted to go into Culinary Arts!”
“I’ll come back when you can act like an adult.”
I sunk into a dining room chair, burying my head into my arms on the table.
“What the hell?” Brad asked, sitting down at the table.
“You heard us, huh?” I turned my head to look at him.
“Yeah. And I don’t see why.”
“I’m scared. I’m scared of what usually happens in long distance relationships.”
“But what about ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’?”
“How realistic is that?”
“Tom, when did you get so cynical? What’s the real issue here?”
“I really like him,” I said, turning my face back to my arms.
“Do you really want to break up with him, just because he’s moving far away?”
“No.”
“Do you think you’ll feel any less for him just because he’s moving farther away?”
“No.”
“So why are you not giving him that benefit of the doubt?”
“Fear. But you’re right. Plus, it’s not like he’s moving there permanently.”
“I think my work here is done. Now I’m going to go have a beer and watch some boxing.”
“I have to go talk to Paul.”
I stood outside his door, shifting from one foot to the other. I mustered the courage and knocked. Henry answered the door.
“Is Paul here?”
“Let me check.”
Henry closed the door. Paul reopened the door.
“I’m sorry. May I come in and explain?”
“Yes.”
I followed Paul over to their loveseat.
“First of all, I am happy for you. It’s great you got accepted. The reason I lashed out is because I’m afraid that when you go to California you’ll meet a sun-kissed, buffed out surfer and you won’t want me anymore.”
“Tom, no. Oh Tom no. I promise you: I pick you. I mean com’on, those people worship Barry Bonds. No, I love my Chicagoan boy.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Paul ran his hand over the hair behind my ear before pulling me close for a kiss.
“Doing better?”
“Yes. And I am happy for you.”
“Thank you,” Paul said and his smile made me regret how much of a jerk I had been.
“I love you, you know that right?”
“Yes, which is why I hate that I’m going to be so far away from you. I’m going to miss you so much!”
“I’m going to miss you too. I promise to write you every day!”
“I’m going to write you twice a day.”
I leaned in to steal a kiss.
“I am going to miss that,” I said.
“Me too. Hey, I have an idea.”
Paul ran off to his room and came back with a camera.
“I want a really good picture of us that I can print off and hang on my wall. That way everyone will know I’m taken.”
Paul put his arm around me, and right when he was about to take the picture, I turned and kissed his cheek. Paul turned the camera over so we could see the result. Due to the surprise of the kiss, his smile had turned into an almost laugh.
“Perfect,” he said.

Part 3