rage

[willowperson]

I posted to my website. I have a website? Good lord, better fill it with content.

This particular content is asking a question, and I'll gladly take your responses here.
How does one warn others or even just talk about an Abuser without coming across as being a drama queen or having Survivor as your main identity?Situation: I didn't reach out to

Comments

[dymaxion]

It's hard. I'm not sure there are any great answers.

When I can, when I'm in a position where I can make it apparent that I'm not acting out of self interest, I do so. Being very, careful to describe things from as neutral of a perspective as possible can be useful. It can be kind of painful to do that, but if it gets the other person to actually listen to what you're saying, it's worth it. This has worked best for me when I've got enough distance that I can present myself more separately. It notably does not frequently have the desired effect of stopping people from doing whatever dumb thing they're going to go do, but it does frequently help them get out more quickly and cleanly, because they're primed with what to look for.

Showing a certain kind of compassion towards the people you're talking about helps, as does talking about them in ways that don't fit in the victim schema. I'm not quite sure how to express this---I'm not quite saying to express pity for the person you're warning someone about, but almost; It makes it harder for someone to see you as the victim, assuming it's not read in a Stockholm Syndrome fashion.