(no subject)
So why is it that when you need someone the most they aren't there anymore? And you can pretend all you want that it doesn't hurt that they're gone, because it puts up a wall, but it really does hurt because you trusted them with everything and grown to love them and then in just about an instant they're gone. Sorry, just rambling about I dont know what.
Lots of things going on in my world... some tough decisions to make and I dont know what to do about them. Some great things going on in my life and they don't feel that great.
I guess I really hurt someone... didn't know I did it. Boy I'm good at that. But when I didn't know I just tried to get past it... actually if I remember correctly they lied to me about it told me it wasn't something I did when I asked... but anyway, so they're really hurt. I didn't get a chance to apolagize for anything I did or fix it or anything cause I didn't know I'd done anything... its not like I meant to do the things that I apparently did... I didn't mean ANYTHING the way it came across...but I guess that doesn't matter, because I wasn't given a chance to explain myself, but from the way things were taken, if I'd have meant to do what i did, i wouldn't have given me one either. But i find out that I hurt this person this bad by reading about it. I think thats the part that tears me up is that I hurt them this bad without even knowing it... and they couldn't come to me with it. I never meant to do it... I'd never hurt someone that important to me on purpose, ever.
So now they're really hurt and things aren't going as planned and I need help... not just any help... I need him to help me... but I screwed up so bad that its not even possible. And there's some really exciting stuff that I wanted to share too... that even he'd be happy for me over... or would have been...
I don't get the same high sharing exciting news with other people as I did him... Its gotta be something in my genes or something I think... cause this is the Rachel situation just about all over again... luckily i know this time the rumors won't be spread and there won't be the vindictiveness... but the sudden loss of that person you totally can connect with on all levels.
Sorry, had to ramble some... had to get it out somewhere...
Lots of things going on in my world... some tough decisions to make and I dont know what to do about them. Some great things going on in my life and they don't feel that great.
I guess I really hurt someone... didn't know I did it. Boy I'm good at that. But when I didn't know I just tried to get past it... actually if I remember correctly they lied to me about it told me it wasn't something I did when I asked... but anyway, so they're really hurt. I didn't get a chance to apolagize for anything I did or fix it or anything cause I didn't know I'd done anything... its not like I meant to do the things that I apparently did... I didn't mean ANYTHING the way it came across...but I guess that doesn't matter, because I wasn't given a chance to explain myself, but from the way things were taken, if I'd have meant to do what i did, i wouldn't have given me one either. But i find out that I hurt this person this bad by reading about it. I think thats the part that tears me up is that I hurt them this bad without even knowing it... and they couldn't come to me with it. I never meant to do it... I'd never hurt someone that important to me on purpose, ever.
So now they're really hurt and things aren't going as planned and I need help... not just any help... I need him to help me... but I screwed up so bad that its not even possible. And there's some really exciting stuff that I wanted to share too... that even he'd be happy for me over... or would have been...
I don't get the same high sharing exciting news with other people as I did him... Its gotta be something in my genes or something I think... cause this is the Rachel situation just about all over again... luckily i know this time the rumors won't be spread and there won't be the vindictiveness... but the sudden loss of that person you totally can connect with on all levels.
Sorry, had to ramble some... had to get it out somewhere...