(no subject)
If I could only free myself from this need I feel for other people to care, I would be so much happier.
If only I had something that they would value, that I could give them, that they would enjoy the way I have enjoyed the offerings of others, maybe they would care, and that would be enough.
I wish I had a story.
I thought I had one once, but it's gone now. Choked with weeds of self doubt and over grown with other people's ideas and imput. It wasn't much of a story, it was thick with in jokes and sideways references, and now, whenever I get the glimmer of a story, the ruined presence of the ones that died make them unable to grow in their shadows.
and always that need, that need for someone to care, someone else to make it real.
did I ever really have a story? Any story?
If only I had something that they would value, that I could give them, that they would enjoy the way I have enjoyed the offerings of others, maybe they would care, and that would be enough.
I wish I had a story.
I thought I had one once, but it's gone now. Choked with weeds of self doubt and over grown with other people's ideas and imput. It wasn't much of a story, it was thick with in jokes and sideways references, and now, whenever I get the glimmer of a story, the ruined presence of the ones that died make them unable to grow in their shadows.
and always that need, that need for someone to care, someone else to make it real.
did I ever really have a story? Any story?