Passing on
It seems so sad that I have lost a lot of close friends the last few years...most of them fell causalities of a war we're still fighting....not all of them have...but none the less it seems as though all the close ones have...I wonder sometimes if its a way of punishment for all the bad things I did...it such a short time I created such bad things...I still wonder about how many more I will lose...its rainy here in San Paulo...seems to fit the mood I'm in with the news I got from Angel this morming...
///Firewall to all///
I wonder how Xander is taking this...I know he and Cordeila didn't leave on the best of terms...I know that somehow he's made peace with it...it still doesn't ease the pain to find out that your ex-girlfriend is gone...hopefully it will ease his fears that she didn't go out of this world in pain...she went serenely...That's just Cordelia she made her mark, played her role and slipped out while no one was expecting her to...it still doesn't ease the pain that she's gone and that I'll never see her again or we'll never get to talk like we once did...I know that none of the Scoobies was ever close with her as I was...still it hurts...Kennedy was wondering why I wasn't myself...I wasn't sure I was going to share my pain or my grief with her...but somehow I just spilled it all out...I know I cried for a long time...but I know Cordeila is better off where she's at now...not in pain from anything and at peace....I hope to see her again some day when its my turn to go...
///end of Firewall///
Dawn: Yes Brazil is warm...not sure what it's like compared to Rome...anyway I'll bring you something special when I get to Rome...if I ever get there...Kennedy says hi and she misses you :).
///firewall to all but Dawn///
I'll make sure that Fred gets hold of you as soon as I hear back from her. If you need some help please let me know...I'll do what I can.
///end of firewall///
Angel:
I don't know how but I just felt Cordelia's passing last night....I just woke up this morning and knew...I just checked your post....I was hoping that it wasn't true...some nightmare that someone stuck us all in...
///firewall to all but Angel///
Last night I'm still not sure it if was real or not...but Cordelia came to visit me...I was so happy to see her, I wanted to get caught up...she said that she didn't have long...but she wanted all of us to keep in touch and to say goodbye...I wasn't sure what she meant at first...but I closed my eyes for a brief second and when I opened them she was gone...I swore that it was a dream but somehow I know it wasn't...I don't know...maybe I'm crazy...I know that Cordelia's passing hurts...but she did go peacefully in her sleep...we've lost friends that have gone in worse ways...seems like for me its been too many lately...all the friends I've lost seem to have been causalities of this war that we all fight...sometimes I get so sick of it, I get angry and I want to make someone resposable....I know that Cordelia was not a saint, and I'm not saying she was...but she tried her damnedest to be a great person and I want to remember her as that...if you need any help, anyone to talk to I'm here and ready...
///end of firewall///
I'm going to get ready to go to L.A...I want to be at Cordy's funeral/wake whatever...I may stop and see Giles before I come back here...just too see him...I'm in desperate need of advice from him...
///Firewall to all///
I wonder how Xander is taking this...I know he and Cordeila didn't leave on the best of terms...I know that somehow he's made peace with it...it still doesn't ease the pain to find out that your ex-girlfriend is gone...hopefully it will ease his fears that she didn't go out of this world in pain...she went serenely...That's just Cordelia she made her mark, played her role and slipped out while no one was expecting her to...it still doesn't ease the pain that she's gone and that I'll never see her again or we'll never get to talk like we once did...I know that none of the Scoobies was ever close with her as I was...still it hurts...Kennedy was wondering why I wasn't myself...I wasn't sure I was going to share my pain or my grief with her...but somehow I just spilled it all out...I know I cried for a long time...but I know Cordeila is better off where she's at now...not in pain from anything and at peace....I hope to see her again some day when its my turn to go...
///end of Firewall///
Dawn: Yes Brazil is warm...not sure what it's like compared to Rome...anyway I'll bring you something special when I get to Rome...if I ever get there...Kennedy says hi and she misses you :).
///firewall to all but Dawn///
I'll make sure that Fred gets hold of you as soon as I hear back from her. If you need some help please let me know...I'll do what I can.
///end of firewall///
Angel:
I don't know how but I just felt Cordelia's passing last night....I just woke up this morning and knew...I just checked your post....I was hoping that it wasn't true...some nightmare that someone stuck us all in...
///firewall to all but Angel///
Last night I'm still not sure it if was real or not...but Cordelia came to visit me...I was so happy to see her, I wanted to get caught up...she said that she didn't have long...but she wanted all of us to keep in touch and to say goodbye...I wasn't sure what she meant at first...but I closed my eyes for a brief second and when I opened them she was gone...I swore that it was a dream but somehow I know it wasn't...I don't know...maybe I'm crazy...I know that Cordelia's passing hurts...but she did go peacefully in her sleep...we've lost friends that have gone in worse ways...seems like for me its been too many lately...all the friends I've lost seem to have been causalities of this war that we all fight...sometimes I get so sick of it, I get angry and I want to make someone resposable....I know that Cordelia was not a saint, and I'm not saying she was...but she tried her damnedest to be a great person and I want to remember her as that...if you need any help, anyone to talk to I'm here and ready...
///end of firewall///
I'm going to get ready to go to L.A...I want to be at Cordy's funeral/wake whatever...I may stop and see Giles before I come back here...just too see him...I'm in desperate need of advice from him...