last night
So, I got tired of doing the mental health journal. Mostly because it was all variations on "I'm fine". But then yesterday, I wasn't fine so much. I had been feeling great the past few days. I've been exercising, Matt and I have been having new friends over more so we both have been cleaning more. I decided to take yesterday off from exercising, which I'm not sure is a factor or not. All day yesterday I felt like I was being ignored. Tried saying hi and joining in conversations at work and people would just not respond to me. Not like they were purposefully being rude, it more seemed like they couldn't hear me. Then we had people over, and it was more of the same. The 2 new friends brought a 3rd friend with them, and the 3 of them seemed to be in their own little world until Matt occasionally emerged from the kitchen. They couldn't help but include him, because he's such a Leo about things that people gravitate to him just to see what he's going to do. And then there's me, trying to ask 5 times if anyone wants something to drink and no one responds to me. I kept trying to join in the conversation or starting conversations, but nothing ever seemed to work. Held it together though. Matt noticed toward the end, so once everyone left I told him what was going on. He felt bad that he didn't notice I was left out. Just wish someone else had noticed. I'm still feeling down. This whole thing reminds me way too much of being the social pariah in school.