"Alphonse-san . . ." She kept hold to his hand even as he started to pull away, trying to keep his attention. "If you don't want to talk about it, or even don't want to talk about it now, it's okay, really. I mean it. It's a nice evening; I understand if you want to keep it that way. I'm sorry; I didn't know I was hitting something bad."
Al forced a small smile, gripping her hand a little tighter in an attempt to be reassuring. "You don't need to apologize. I understand why you asked; I was just surprised. This isn't something I've told anyone else here."
Knowing that the Iron Man who'd kidnapped them all to this place was also an empty suit of armor had only increased Al's reluctance. He didn't want to give people a reason to distrust him. But if anyone could understand, it would probably be Amelia, who had a friend at home in a similar situation. If he explained that he'd originally been human, she'd believe him.
"But are you sure you feel like hearing this tonight? I've already taken up a lot of your time."
Having someone like Amelia around was nearly as foreign as the dancing. Confessions of this magnitude were usually brought about by necessity, not someone simply wanting to listen. Al wasn't totally sure how to take it, but it was still a good feeling. Ed and Winry had always been there for him, and while he appreciated them both greatly, it was different to have an outsider's perspective. Amelia didn't have familial obligations or years of history with him to motivate her kindness.
"I can't honestly say that I want to, but I probably should. It's going to come out eventually, and I'd rather have you hear it from me than the homunculi."
Al took a deep breath and sat down beside her, hands resting on his lap. She'd given him plenty of chances to get out of this, so it was too late for second thoughts.
"Okay, um, the first thing I should say is that I'm sorry for not being completely honest with you a few minutes ago. It would have been hard to answer your question without getting into the full story, but that's no excuse for lying." He didn't wait for a response before plunging on, hoping the easiest explanation wouldn't come across as too insensitive. "It's... Do you remember when you told my brother about your friend who's searching for a way to become human again? Before coming here, it was the same for me."
"Only sort of." He'd have to backtrack for this to make any sense. "It happened a long time ago. See, alchemy is powerful, but it has laws like anything else. My brother and I ignored them to try something forbidden, and we were punished for it. He lost one of his legs, and my entire body was taken away. To save me, he sacrificed an arm to bind my soul to a suit of armor."
Al curled his hands into fists, but his gaze held steady. He didn't miss being expressionless, but he could admit being able to feign stoicism would have been pretty helpful right about now. "Ever since then, we've been looking for a way to return ourselves to normal."
That wasn't quite the reaction Al had been expecting. He'd taken certain elements of the story for granted, forgetting how hard it would be for someone unfamiliar with his world to understand them out of context.
Al shook his head to cut Amelia off before she could continue down that train of thought. "What happened to us was our own fault. If you were using your magic and got a really big spell wrong, is there any potential for backlash? Alchemy works like that. The price was so high because we tried something impossible."
He had no choice but to clarify that; otherwise Amelia might assume he and Ed had just been power crazy. He swallowed, forcing out the words. "We thought we could actually bring someone back from the dead."
The Giga Slave . . . Oh, yes, there was that possibility. They'd nearly lost enough from that as it was. They could have lost far more if the spell had been wrong.
Alphonse's next words fortunately pushed her from that thought. ". . . Someone?" The word was out before she thought better of it.
"Our mother," Al answered, and though guilt overwhelmed his tone, he didn't dare look away. "She was all we had, and we were really desperate to see her again."
Not that they'd rushed into it. "After she died, we focused on learning all we could about human transmutation. But it wasn't enough. In our world, bringing someone back to life can't be done."
A fact that made Lust's presence in the city seem that much more strange. Al had heard others claim to have been resurrected, but he hadn't truly believed it until the homunculi showed up. It was daunting to realize the Porter could so easily overturn what he once thought were unquestionable laws of the universe, and in some ways, he hadn't fully come to terms with it.
Amelia was silent for some time . . . almost too long, staring at the communicator in the folds of her dress. Speech began as a sudden breath and a soft thread of sound.
"My mother -- mama -- died when I was really young. I remember sometimes I found it strange . . . I lived in the white magic capital of the world -- a city that could heal and protect almost better than anyone else. It didn't seem fair." Her voice was small. "It wasn't right."
"I was lucky, though . . . I had Daddy. And oneesan, if only for a little while. I think . . ." She cut herself off, grasping for words. "Who wouldn't want that, to see someone that precious again?"
Al waited out her silence, unsure of what to make of it. Had he said too much? Did she think less of him for his selfishness?
But then Amelia finally spoke, and Al understood. The details of their situations might have been different, but the similarities were undeniable. Like white magic, alchemy had always seemed capable of so much. Accepting that the practices had limits wasn't easy, especially for a child.
Al set a hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Agreement was plain to see in his eyes, so he didn't need to voice it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you too."
Al didn't argue the point, but the knowing look he gave her said he didn't quite believe that. Time didn't erase the pain of losing someone so important, as they were both all too aware.
He drew back with a sigh, wondering if it wasn't too late to steer this discussion away from such morbid topics. "Anyway, that's the real reason Lust doesn't know what I look like."
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Knowing that the Iron Man who'd kidnapped them all to this place was also an empty suit of armor had only increased Al's reluctance. He didn't want to give people a reason to distrust him. But if anyone could understand, it would probably be Amelia, who had a friend at home in a similar situation. If he explained that he'd originally been human, she'd believe him.
"But are you sure you feel like hearing this tonight? I've already taken up a lot of your time."
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"I can't honestly say that I want to, but I probably should. It's going to come out eventually, and I'd rather have you hear it from me than the homunculi."
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"Okay, um, the first thing I should say is that I'm sorry for not being completely honest with you a few minutes ago. It would have been hard to answer your question without getting into the full story, but that's no excuse for lying." He didn't wait for a response before plunging on, hoping the easiest explanation wouldn't come across as too insensitive. "It's... Do you remember when you told my brother about your friend who's searching for a way to become human again? Before coming here, it was the same for me."
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Al curled his hands into fists, but his gaze held steady. He didn't miss being expressionless, but he could admit being able to feign stoicism would have been pretty helpful right about now. "Ever since then, we've been looking for a way to return ourselves to normal."
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So Alphonse was the armor . . . Ed did lose an arm . . . .
"Who punished you?" There was indignation in the words. "What could you do that would possibly be worth all of that?"
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Al shook his head to cut Amelia off before she could continue down that train of thought. "What happened to us was our own fault. If you were using your magic and got a really big spell wrong, is there any potential for backlash? Alchemy works like that. The price was so high because we tried something impossible."
He had no choice but to clarify that; otherwise Amelia might assume he and Ed had just been power crazy. He swallowed, forcing out the words. "We thought we could actually bring someone back from the dead."
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Alphonse's next words fortunately pushed her from that thought. ". . . Someone?" The word was out before she thought better of it.
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Not that they'd rushed into it. "After she died, we focused on learning all we could about human transmutation. But it wasn't enough. In our world, bringing someone back to life can't be done."
A fact that made Lust's presence in the city seem that much more strange. Al had heard others claim to have been resurrected, but he hadn't truly believed it until the homunculi showed up. It was daunting to realize the Porter could so easily overturn what he once thought were unquestionable laws of the universe, and in some ways, he hadn't fully come to terms with it.
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"My mother -- mama -- died when I was really young. I remember sometimes I found it strange . . . I lived in the white magic capital of the world -- a city that could heal and protect almost better than anyone else. It didn't seem fair." Her voice was small. "It wasn't right."
"I was lucky, though . . . I had Daddy. And oneesan, if only for a little while. I think . . ." She cut herself off, grasping for words. "Who wouldn't want that, to see someone that precious again?"
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But then Amelia finally spoke, and Al understood. The details of their situations might have been different, but the similarities were undeniable. Like white magic, alchemy had always seemed capable of so much. Accepting that the practices had limits wasn't easy, especially for a child.
Al set a hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Agreement was plain to see in his eyes, so he didn't need to voice it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you too."
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She was quiet for another moment, attempting to resist an urge. "I'm sorry."
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He drew back with a sigh, wondering if it wasn't too late to steer this discussion away from such morbid topics. "Anyway, that's the real reason Lust doesn't know what I look like."
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