I can't wait for this year to end... Pt. 1
I know I haven't updated in a while and I know I haven't finished my Sex in the city story. I last left it here. I didn't want to finish for fear of speaking the african up, but seeing as that didn't seem to make a difference. I guess I can finish it. Just not right now. This is just an update to get some shit off my chest. I leave for chi in 3 days, so I will be doing updates until then. Enjoy!
So, update on my universe…
Just a reminder of how my world works. I lost one of my gloves about a month back, the left one. No big. So I bought a new pair, the exact same type and color. Two weeks later I walk into my house wear the new gloves, place them in my coat pocket and hang the coat up. The very next morning one of the gloves is missing…the right one. I searched the entire house, but could not find it. Fine. Luckily I saved the other glove from the first pair I lost.
Now technically I’m wearing two different gloves, put they are the same type and color so it doesn’t matter. The right one from the first pair and the left one from the second pair. My gloves still match and I only buy one type of glove, Isotoners, in one color, brown. I go throughout the day just glad that I just so happened to lose the opposite glove this time. I go home, put gloves in pocket and hang the coat up. The very next morning when I put the gloves on, I now have two of the same gloves, both for the right hand. How the fuck did this happen?
Just yesterday I had one for each hand, now I have two for one hand. WTF?!?!?!? I tore my house up looking for this glove. I cleaned my house like 5 times. I still have not found this glove. So now I have been wearing a right hand glove on my left hand for the past month, because somehow the glove decided to physically alter itself. Why? I don’t know. But I’m not buying another pair of gloves. If this is how my gloves respond, I’ll be damned if I have like 6 gloves for my right hand. Fuck that! I can just imagine that little bastard crawling around my house like thing from The Adams Family. Little brown bastard! The glove, not thing.
The coat and hat…
So I decide to buy a new coat. I go to TJ Maxx. I had bought one previously from there and find a couple I like, but one that really stands out. However, it’s missing a button. I take it to the front and ask for a discount, cuz it’s missing a button. The cashier rings up the other coat while the manager takes the coat to mark it down. He returns and says, “Do you know where the button store is?”
Yes?!?
Then he proceeds to hand me the coat with $1 marked off. Are you fucking kidding me? The cashier tries to ring it up. I say, “He only took of $1 for the button? That doesn’t even cover the cost of buying the new button! No thanks I don’t want the coat, and as a matter of fact, where can I go to return this one I just purchased?”
$1 off. Fuck you! Then has the nerve to say, do I know where the button store is? Fuck you and your store. As much money as I spend in that store…they can kiss my ass!
So a few days later I head to another TJ Maxx. I find the coat, with buttons intact, but it is too small. Of course. They say they can phone other stores to find my size. Great! 30mins later, the cashier is still on hold and made no attempts to call any other store. Fuck this! I told her, never mind. I just wanted to buy a coat, it shouldn’t be this hard. I then proceed to leave the store. I reach in my pocket to grab my hat. Because I placed the hat in this pocket when I first entered the store. Felt it there the entire time I was in the store. But now that I’m leaving, the hat is mysteriously missing. Of course. It’s 3 degrees out side. I’m already wearing an inadequate coat, a pair of gloves meant for my right hand only and now I have no hat. So I assume it must have fallen out of my pocket. No big. I didn’t go that far in the store, so I look around. I look all over the store. No hat. Of course. So not only did I not get the coat or any idea of where I can get the coat, I actually left with less clothing than I came in with. Kind of the opposite of what the store is designed for. Now I have to wait out side in 30 below weather to wait for a bus, that was 40 mins late, with two right hand gloves, a coat not made for this weather, and now no hat. I officially hate TJ Maxx.
EDIT: When I got on the train, why did I see this 3x plus heffa wearing the very same coat I had intended to purchase. Bitch!! Also, did I mention that I just had the hat repaired...Son of a Bitch!!!
So, update on my universe…
Just a reminder of how my world works. I lost one of my gloves about a month back, the left one. No big. So I bought a new pair, the exact same type and color. Two weeks later I walk into my house wear the new gloves, place them in my coat pocket and hang the coat up. The very next morning one of the gloves is missing…the right one. I searched the entire house, but could not find it. Fine. Luckily I saved the other glove from the first pair I lost.
Now technically I’m wearing two different gloves, put they are the same type and color so it doesn’t matter. The right one from the first pair and the left one from the second pair. My gloves still match and I only buy one type of glove, Isotoners, in one color, brown. I go throughout the day just glad that I just so happened to lose the opposite glove this time. I go home, put gloves in pocket and hang the coat up. The very next morning when I put the gloves on, I now have two of the same gloves, both for the right hand. How the fuck did this happen?
Just yesterday I had one for each hand, now I have two for one hand. WTF?!?!?!? I tore my house up looking for this glove. I cleaned my house like 5 times. I still have not found this glove. So now I have been wearing a right hand glove on my left hand for the past month, because somehow the glove decided to physically alter itself. Why? I don’t know. But I’m not buying another pair of gloves. If this is how my gloves respond, I’ll be damned if I have like 6 gloves for my right hand. Fuck that! I can just imagine that little bastard crawling around my house like thing from The Adams Family. Little brown bastard! The glove, not thing.
The coat and hat…
So I decide to buy a new coat. I go to TJ Maxx. I had bought one previously from there and find a couple I like, but one that really stands out. However, it’s missing a button. I take it to the front and ask for a discount, cuz it’s missing a button. The cashier rings up the other coat while the manager takes the coat to mark it down. He returns and says, “Do you know where the button store is?”
Yes?!?
Then he proceeds to hand me the coat with $1 marked off. Are you fucking kidding me? The cashier tries to ring it up. I say, “He only took of $1 for the button? That doesn’t even cover the cost of buying the new button! No thanks I don’t want the coat, and as a matter of fact, where can I go to return this one I just purchased?”
$1 off. Fuck you! Then has the nerve to say, do I know where the button store is? Fuck you and your store. As much money as I spend in that store…they can kiss my ass!
So a few days later I head to another TJ Maxx. I find the coat, with buttons intact, but it is too small. Of course. They say they can phone other stores to find my size. Great! 30mins later, the cashier is still on hold and made no attempts to call any other store. Fuck this! I told her, never mind. I just wanted to buy a coat, it shouldn’t be this hard. I then proceed to leave the store. I reach in my pocket to grab my hat. Because I placed the hat in this pocket when I first entered the store. Felt it there the entire time I was in the store. But now that I’m leaving, the hat is mysteriously missing. Of course. It’s 3 degrees out side. I’m already wearing an inadequate coat, a pair of gloves meant for my right hand only and now I have no hat. So I assume it must have fallen out of my pocket. No big. I didn’t go that far in the store, so I look around. I look all over the store. No hat. Of course. So not only did I not get the coat or any idea of where I can get the coat, I actually left with less clothing than I came in with. Kind of the opposite of what the store is designed for. Now I have to wait out side in 30 below weather to wait for a bus, that was 40 mins late, with two right hand gloves, a coat not made for this weather, and now no hat. I officially hate TJ Maxx.
EDIT: When I got on the train, why did I see this 3x plus heffa wearing the very same coat I had intended to purchase. Bitch!! Also, did I mention that I just had the hat repaired...Son of a Bitch!!!