admitance of displeasure
I hate being the person I am sometimes. Now is one of those times. I always said that I just wanted her to be happy, and I should have known that she would have just gone and found someone else. Hell, I should have known that she would have wound up with him.
I know she's happier with him right now than she was with me because of the whole long distance thing, and I'm happy for that. But at the same time, seeing it, it makes my pulse run fast. It gives me butterflies in my stomache, just generally makes me feel a way I don't like to feel. Jelousy, anger, and the question of why she didn't tell me.
I hate this. I should be better than this. If you ever wonder why I proclaim myself to be a bad person, its not because of who's hearts I've broken, or how I broke them. It is because of feelings like this. My heart, my head, my whole damn consciousness just wants to be with her. I DO want her to be happy, and I should be happy for her. But deep down, I know that I just want her to be happy with me. And it sickens me to know that I am that petty.
I know she's happier with him right now than she was with me because of the whole long distance thing, and I'm happy for that. But at the same time, seeing it, it makes my pulse run fast. It gives me butterflies in my stomache, just generally makes me feel a way I don't like to feel. Jelousy, anger, and the question of why she didn't tell me.
I hate this. I should be better than this. If you ever wonder why I proclaim myself to be a bad person, its not because of who's hearts I've broken, or how I broke them. It is because of feelings like this. My heart, my head, my whole damn consciousness just wants to be with her. I DO want her to be happy, and I should be happy for her. But deep down, I know that I just want her to be happy with me. And it sickens me to know that I am that petty.