tired of it all
I am so fucking sick of feeling like this. Every time I think I am better, I feel sad agian. This summer has not been the way I wanted, almost anything would be better than this. I finally get over what started the summer off as shity, then I fall for someone else.
Wouldn't be so bad, but she likes me too. But I'm leaving for germany after first sememster, and she is graduating at the end of second. Then she is off to grad school. Neither of us wants to get attached for such a short time, but now our friendship is awkward. I don't know exactally where we stand, or if we will become anything anyway, it just makes me feel sad, like apparently everything else this summer.
I am just soooo sick of feeling like this. I just want to have someone to hold right now. I don't need the whole phisical thing beyond that. I dont' want to fuck, I don't even want to make out, I just to feel some warmth against me while I drift off to sleep, but I guess I can manage till the 4th for that.
This is getting old, I only have so many guns to clean before I have to start getting creative with things to occupy my mind, and working at Michael's occupies almost no thought space, so all I do is sit and brood. Damn it...things weren't supposed to be like this.
Wouldn't be so bad, but she likes me too. But I'm leaving for germany after first sememster, and she is graduating at the end of second. Then she is off to grad school. Neither of us wants to get attached for such a short time, but now our friendship is awkward. I don't know exactally where we stand, or if we will become anything anyway, it just makes me feel sad, like apparently everything else this summer.
I am just soooo sick of feeling like this. I just want to have someone to hold right now. I don't need the whole phisical thing beyond that. I dont' want to fuck, I don't even want to make out, I just to feel some warmth against me while I drift off to sleep, but I guess I can manage till the 4th for that.
This is getting old, I only have so many guns to clean before I have to start getting creative with things to occupy my mind, and working at Michael's occupies almost no thought space, so all I do is sit and brood. Damn it...things weren't supposed to be like this.