♥TWO♥ [VOICE]

[grenading]

[ so hello travelers. Donut's got his srs voice on. or something ] I'm looking for someone. He calls himself "Washington;" he's a Freelancer! Has anyone seen or heard anyone by that name here?

[ pause ] And if you can hear this, Washington, I've got something to say: You missed, bitch! I'm not dead!

[ yes, he's not pleased, but that srsness doesn

Comments

[wheelwork]

Donut, what the fuck is that?! (DID WASH GET HIM ALREADY WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.)

[grenading]

GRIF!! THERE'S A HUGE SPIDER AND IT'S COMING CLOSER AND OH MY GOD SAVE ME I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!

[wheelwork]

(all of this is over a spider. a spider? a spider? GRIF DOESN'T EVEN...) ......What?! (maybe it's a morrigan spider?)

[grenading]

ARE YOU DEAF?! I SAID THERE'S A FUCKING SPIDER!!

[wheelwork]

I don't... (BREATHE, DONUT.) Run?

[grenading]

WHAT IF IT'S A JUMPING SPIDER?! IT'LL OUTRUN ME WITH THAT MUCH OF AN ADVANTAGE!!

AND EVEN IF I ESCAPE, IT'LL BE WAITING FOR ME WHEN I GO TO BED!!!

IT MUST DIE NOW!!

[wheelwork]

At least stop shooting!

[grenading]

....... [ silence ]

[wheelwork]

(long pause.) Uh. Is it dead?

[grenading]

...........................................................................It.

It.

It's.

[ deeeeep breath ] Itjumpedonmyarm.

[wheelwork]

(LMFAO CHRIST ABOVE, IS THERE NO MERCY IN THIS WORLD.) Oh, shit, okay, uh. Okay. Don't fucking look at it! Hold still. Don't shoot your arm off. --Are you even breathing?

[grenading]

....................[ HYPERVENTILATING ] Griiiiiiiiiif!! W-what am I supposed to doooooo?!--OhmyGodit'smoving!!

[wheelwork]

Shut up and listen! Slowly look back over at it, and then... smash it really fast.

[grenading]

..Okay. Okay.

I'm just. Going to. Smash it. Against this wall... Slowly.

[wheelwork]

No, do it fast!

[grenading]

F-fast?! But what if it catches on and then jumps on my face and eats my eyes and and and and...!