☠[Voice]
[The audio feed cuts on, Yoite isn't in an exactly pretty way lately and he doesn't want to sound like he is in his death bed. Heck, he hasn't even noticed if his room mate is even in tonight.]
How do you send an email on this?
[Maybe he should have put that in different terms? He's pretty much blind now see, so he's having trouble working ( Read more... )
How do you send an email on this?
[Maybe he should have put that in different terms? He's pretty much blind now see, so he's having trouble working ( Read more... )
LOOK. [he sounds like he'd want to add an insult on that. "you antisocial bag of bones", maybe, or something...just...really witty, but Gau's grasp of words isn't all that great when he's not painting colorful pictures about justice.] the only reason I'm making this public is because I know you can't see, so don't get any ideas!
I'm not ignoring you, Yoite-kun! [Actually, yes, he was. He was mad at you, Yoite. You frustrate him. He's never quite sure what you want and that makes it very, very difficult for him to jump in and help you do everything when you keep doing your wander off and avoid people thing.]
So don't tell people that's what I'm doing! I'm making a list of all the caravan denizens and their roommates, so that when people disappear we can know exactly who, and exactly when! And I was making a map, and looking for supplies in the ghost town! In a place like this, organization and information are both vital! It's not like I could take you with me, doing all this! You can barely stand!
[A pause. Okay, now he feels guilty. What's he doing shouting at Yoite when he's all alone and Miharu just vanished? His voice quiets and he mumbles.]
...I need to make dango with Sakura-san, and make something for Cowboy-san because he saved my life during that big attack, and some for Hudson-san, my roommate...I'll make sure to make some for you, too and bring them by, later, alright? But if you need something, don't put it up HERE for everyone to see! It's embarrassing and makes me look like a shady, villainous pervert! [Of course, Gau uses the term "pervert" a bit differently than most people, and doesn't realize what that sounds like. It's actually his blanket term for "deviant", but that's certainly not what it sounds like.]
[one last grumble]
I'm not ignoring you.
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[Sorry Gau, Yoite is in the middle of a mental conflict with himself, other than the normal mental conflict he goes through each and every singel day that is.]
Sakura, Cowboy then Yoite? .... Alright, Yoite will try and be awake for when Gau comes to bed.
[he ... doesn't mean for that to sound in anyway strange, he just means he's gonna be in bed most of today anyway's so it made sense to say it like that okay!.]
Um ... I would like to help you make your list ...
[If you dare comment on the fact he can't read cause he can't see, so help me Gau you will have a Kira finger drilled into your head and out the other side and pointed down at your chest from the back! before it blasts you!.]
... okay, thank you for not ignoring Yoite ... I was alone ...
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[Now you threw him for sure, then he catches himself, a bit irritated, assuming something in you wants to see him flustered.]
LOOK! I'm NOT going to bed with you! That's just-! [fighting for words] WEIRD! And I certainly couldn't manage something like that without touching you, anyway, so it's out of the question, even then!
[sputter] Cut the crap! Don't say weird things just to set me off!
And anyway! [You trust in Gau's survival instinct? You shouldn't trust in Gau's survival instinct. Particuarly after he's in ranty mode after what you jsut said, Yoite.] I'm almost done with the list, and you can't see well enough to help on something like that! It's much more efficient for me to work on it, and you should be getting your rest! I already looked for Rokujo-kun on here, and he's NOT. Neither is Raikou-san, or that Chickenhead!
[irritably] So save your strength!
I'm not ignoring you! I'm definitely not ignoring you! But I'm going to keep you alive long enough to get us both home at any cost! Even if it means I have to tie you up, and lock you in your room, and feed you under the door, got it?!
[rant rant rant]
You saved my life!
So I don't want to see you holding yours in such despicable esteem!
I'll bring you food, and find you extra blankets! [Hard to believe anyone could snap something that otherwise kind the way Gau can.]
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[This is just going to confuse Yoite, he didn't even realize what he said in that sentence that you could have taken the wrong way.]
With me? ...I ... I suppose it would be warmer if you did.
[Annnd Yoite took the wrong end of that too, sorry Gau, you must remember his hearing isn't what it used to be. To the comment about touching him, Yoite actually startled a little. Gau knew not to touch him?]
To set you off? I don't understand, you don't have any powers or techniques to set off, Gau? You're not making any sense, maybe you should rest?
[Yoite was a little upset ... he though Gau was going to show him how to read braile? Did Gau forget? Did he just want Yoite out of the way? If that was so he could easily make himself out of the way for Gau.]
Don't worry Gau, I'm trying to find us another way home. I'll get you back before I die there is no need to lock me away from people, I understand.
[Yea, he was locked away as a kid so he kind of thinks you're embarrassed by him.]
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That, and you have a strange, close relationship with Miharu Rokujo, the shinrabansho weilder--presumably for the purpose of having him save and restore your life.
This about sums up what Gau knows about you. All he knows about you.
It's not that this is ALL he wants to know about you, but...he only just stopped despising you wholeheartedly--a large part of that out of envy.
It's no surprise that he's so frequently thrown off by what you do.
He's thrown off nonetheless.
Warmer. Oh gosh. Facepalming, and rubbing the bridge of his nose. How can you not get this either, Yoite?]
I didn't mean setting off any weird hidden powers. [carefully trying to control his temper. OH he's trying, Yoite...]
I meant you keep saying weird things just to get me to react. A LOT of people do that, but you shouldn't. It's dangerous for both of us!
[I'm afraid he completely forgot about your braille. Forgive him, Yoite. He has an awful lot on his mind, and he's so direct in everything that no matter what he thinks, he's not a tremendous multi-tasker.]
The point isn't to keep you away from people, Yoite-kun! [exasperation, though he's still missing the point as ever] If you keep wandering around all over the place, there's no Yukimi-san to keep you from being missing. [He's starting to respect what a hard job that man has, you know]
You have friends you've made, like Sakura-san! You have to start thinking about them rather than about Rokujo-kun all the time! If you get yourself hurt, it's disrespectful to THEM! [He doesn't know whether or not he can include himself in there, yet, either. HE thinks you might be friends. He's not sure at all what you think though, Yoite.
But...a little idea occurs to him, and he blinks, asking suspiciously.]
What did you THINK I meant, anyway?
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But... Gau is louder then anyone Yoite knows, this isn't a power? You're only like this around me ... maybe... is he allergic to me? to Kira?
[Talking to himself, seeming to forget Gau wasn't going deaf unlike him!.]
I don't try and do anything to you, other then ... get close? nah he can't say that can he? doesn't that count as 'weird'? Yes, yes that totally counts as weird! forget that Yoite. help you? I think. I'm not sure why I do anything any more, Gau ...
[Bringing him onto his next point.]
.. Without Miharu here, and with you wanting me to stop looking for him, I have no reason to be. I don't want friends, or Yukimi or any of them! but I don't want to be alone Gau ...
[Thinking about what Gau asked as blinked. what do you THINK? ... such a hard question and one he wouldn't answer, not over this network anyway.]
I think that ... that Gau is ... that .. Yoite .... I have to go now. Goodbye.
[he's about to turn the communication link off.]
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Don't you DARE put down that-! That junogram! [he's channelling pure Yukimi--not that Yoite ever listens to him either, really, but still. He's depending on shock, mostly, snapping as quickly as he can:]
Your reason to live is so you can get home and see Rokujo-kun agian, and he'll fix everything! And you should remember that the next tiem you try telling me you don't know why you're alive!
You're alive so you can make it home!
And I'm going to help you!
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I wasn't going to put it down Gau, just off. [He's noticed, its what's caught his attention believe it or not. Keep going Gau, he's that little bit closer to actually listening to what you're saying and considering doing what you suggest.]
No, Miharu isn't here and I doubt he's home or he would have come back to get Yoite ... he promised. That means we still have to look for him.
I'l alive so ... so that I can ... I ...
Thank you .... Otouto ...
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O-Oto-?!
[Little Brother?! What could he possibly mean by-?!
...Forget it.
he's not even going to try to decipher what you're doing this time, Yoite. never mind that you're probably not doing anything. There's just no way Gau could possibly believe someone as smart as you might not have some THING they're trying to accomplish all the time.
Gau scowls, and doesn't sound so convinced.]
...Fine. Yeah.
But listen to me, Yoite-kun. Rokujo-kun isn't perfect in his handling of the shinrabansho. Even if he reached our world, there's no guarantee that he'd be able to ocme back or wish you back. [You. Yes. Only Yoite. Miharu wouldn't come after him. Gau's heart sinks a little. If he wants to go home to Raikou, he's going to have to get there himself with his hard work.]
If he's working hard to learn the secrets of that jutsu back home, then we have to work hard over here to get back from our end, too!
We can keep sending messages to Rokujo-kun, just in case he comes back, or manages, but...otherwise, you need to save your strength, Yoite-kun, or you won't get back home!
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[You'd have to have been there when Yoite met up with the rescue party of Shinobi whom gave him a nice little talk about Team mates and Family , about how you should look after, care for and fight for those at your side.
Yoite has interpreted it in his own way. Gau is younger then him, he's a team mate so this makes him family, right? So little brother is perfectly fitting if what Naruto was saying is to be true.]
I'll rest now, Otouto-kun.
[And he's telling the truth! Yoite sat himself down, pondering over more of what Naruto had said. If Gau really was a team mate, a friend and therefore his family, that threw up something Yoite was struggling with. The want to be selfish was slipping.
Sure! he was going to find Miharu, find him and ask him to erase him before it was too late, but his objective was changing now, Gau was here ... looking after him and trying to get Yoite back home to Miharu. So ... Yoite had to make sure Gau got home safe firts, before he found Miharu and vanished from memory for good.]
Don't come looking for me, I'll wait until I'm not as cold and come to you.
[His next words were softer spoken, muffled by his knees a little.]
... Raikou can't do his job properly without Otouto-kun ... Yoite will help get you back home too ....before I die.
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He's abruptly embarrassed. It was obvious, though, wasn't it? And Yoite's maybe trying...in his own way...
Gau swallows hard.]
You-
You don't have to worry about me, Yoite-kun.
[He starts chewing his knuckle, nervously]
Raikou-san...
He...he can do his work without me, even if it takes him longer. [A little sigh] I'm not worried about our Wakachi duties. That's not why I want to get back...
[Gau frowns, trying to think of how to say this, forgetting to even be all that nervous.]
It's...loneliness, more than anything.
I don't want Raikou-san to be lonely. That's it more than the work, or anything else. If I'm not there for him, he'll have nothing but his work. Imagining Raikou-san all alone... [He trails off.]
Well it can't be good for him!
Even if I can only do small things for him, the fact that I can be there by his side, and work as hard as I can to be someone he can confide in and someone who can make a home for him to come back to--that's something I want to do more than anything!
[Gau sighs, flattening the unruly lock of hair behind his ear out of habit.]
It took me a long time to see that for him, too--you probably don't understand because you're smart, Yoite-kun. If I were like you, then I'd know when people are lonely. I wouldn't stand around messing things up for them, and getting in the way, and not understanding!
[He sounds a little self-irritated]
Well now I know!
And while I'm here, and when we get home, I'm going to try to keep Yoite-kun from being lonely, too! So don't tell me not to look for you or try to get back on my own![A muffled thump--Gau's hitting the side fo his chest, getting too earnest and determined as usual.]
I may not be the shinrabansho, or even be a friend you respect like Rokujo-kun, but at least I can still be by Yoite-kun's side!
If it means I can put the kira you spent on me to good use, and repay you for it, then I'll do it!
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So that's what this emotion was, it was worry? but why worry over someone how used to hate you?]
I have a choice? How do I stop worrying then Gau? if you don't need me to.
[There was no sarcasm in his question, Yoite truly wanted to know, if it was what Gau wanted he would stop but he could feel it wouldn't be that easy.]
Hm? Raikou? ... Why are you talking about- .... oh.
[See, Yoite is smart after all, you just have to forgive him for being slow, things like the things he has experienced in his short life time are disturbing enough to warp your views and emotions enough to have lost all knowledge of why people act the way they do.]
Then, Gau ... then you are a good team mate and friend, we should try and find you a way home from here first. I cant ... Yoite can't offer Miharu any of those things and Miharu is not here for Yoite .... not at Yoite's side.
[Ah, sadness, this was something he felt a lot, strange how he felt it more now than he had before? what was happening to him, it was as if he was coming apart from the seams, all those feelings he ignored because he didn't understand them suddenly held a little more meaning after all that had happened here.]
It ... It's alright ...Gau.
[He sounded a little faint, his voice broken slightly as if he was trying to hide something.]
Yoite has always been lonely, and has always messed things up for people, you don't have to try and change that, I'll be gone soon anyway's. Use what I gave you for something else?
[he's not trying to be as blunt as he is, he's breaking down and very gracefully as a matter of fact, hiding his tears is easy when talking on this thing as long as the hitch in his breathing can't be heard.]
I'll go now and ... rest? I'll find Gau when I'm awake.
[he turns the feed on his end off, though he'll still be able to hear Gau, he just didn't want to trouble Gau any more. He'll sit now, where ever he is, hug his legs and rock a little, thinking far too many things that confuse him as other thoughts shift into clarity. Tears running down his face though he's not even sue himself why he's crying.]
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Yoite-kun has been lonely, and...I don't know if you messed things up--you can't have done as bad of a job as I did, I know that! [Saved by the pushy kid's lack of imagination.]
But if we find a way home, it's not a matter of who goes first or not! You're coming with me! And if Rokujo-kun were here, he'd tell you the same. Just because he's been stolen back doesn't mean he's not fighting hard to bring Yoite-kun back to him, too!
What else could I possibly use this life for?! I don't have Raikou-san here-and he tries the same things, you know! Sitting back and worrying about bringing me into the world of Nabari...I hit him with my notebook last time.
[A little noise of annoyance] Why do you people never understand how glad I am to be here and be useful?! You and Raikou-san both have some stupid need to make this a lot more complicated than it needs to be! You should just sit back and enjoy it if someone's interested in helping you! It's just annoying to do things for people and have them say they can't accept them! What else am I supposed to do?!
If you are lonely, now that I know that, why shouldn't I try to fix it as much as I can?! Just because I can't grant wishes like-!
[he fumes, cuts himself off, and tries to reign in some of the frustration, giving a sigh that crackles as static on the voice message. Grim and determined when he speaks again.]
I'm still going to try my best.
No matter how many times I mess up at it, I need to try! I'm not the weilder of the shinrabansho--I mean, I can't even learn basic elemental jutsus, no matter HOW hard I try!
But...if Yoite-kun confides in me, whatever he asks, I'll try to do, no matter how impossible, as long as it's good for Yoite-kun! And after everything you've told me, what else can I do?!
I would do no less for anyone else who saved my life! Especially for my fellow kairoushu!
[Snappishly]
That's just the way I am!
[Adds with typical unthinking brashness.] And if you don't want me to do it, then you're going to have to do something about it!
I'm going to get Yoite-kun home so Rokujo Miharu can save his life, and refill his ki! Because no matter what Yoite-kun did in the past, he's a valuable member of the Kairoshu, now, and he's my teammate!
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