[ Voice // 001 ]

[howabout_now]

[The message begins with a voice that seemingly belongs to a small boy.]

Hey! What is this place? Milla? Sasha? Lili! Where are you guys? Listen. If anybody is out there, my name is Raz and I’m looking for my friends. We were together on a mission. A very important mission. With the Psychonauts! But can’t do that if I’m here. Wherever here is

Comments

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

The Psychonauts? That's a very catchy name. Is it a band by any chance?

[VOICE]

[howabout_now]

... Y-you've never heard of the Psychonauts!?

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

I can't say I have, but to be honest I stopped paying attention to modern music after Joey Ramone died. What a shame... 49 is really too young to be checking out, but it comes with the rock and roll lifestyle I suppose.

What sort of music do they play?

[VOICE]

[howabout_now]

Hey, you can never be too old for music you know. Anyway, Milla likes disco and Sasha-

[He stops himself.]

They're not a band! The Psychonauts are international psychic secret agents! They go on very important missions to keep people safe from things like psychic death tanks!

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

I agree completely- but I'm not much for the newer stuff. [pause] Disco is a little before my time though. It died when I was just a child. How old is Milla?

[oh. we're back on topic!] Secret agents? It's not much of a secret if you're telling a random stranger about them. But "psychic death tanks?" You're going to have to elaborate.

[VOICE]

[howabout_now]

[He opens his mouth to protest. But there's only a long pause. And then.]

Good point. Well 'secret agent' is more of just a generic title. Sasha and Milla were even written about in True Psychic Tales! You might be too old for Joey Ramone, but you're never too old for really good stories. You might even read about me and the death tanks in them in future issues too.

[... He's ten years old. Just a little push and he'll totally spill. You can probably tell from his tone he wants to, too.]

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

[hmmm...]

You're right, one is never too old for a good story. But I'm afraid I don't have access to True Psychic Tales or a clue as to where I'd be able to get a copy.

A shame, I did want to hear about your daring feats. Ah well. I'll have to continue hanging on in suspense. [there's not a shred of mocking in his tone- in fact, he sounds genuinely disappointed]

[VOICE] Back 8)

[howabout_now]

Your comic book shops don't have 'em? Bummer.

It's a long story, but ... basically I saved the world by tracking down an evil scientist, former dentist, who was stealing the brains of psychic children to put into destructive warmachines to take over the world.

You know. No big deal.

By the way, who is this again?

[VOICE] wb! B)

[whiteroomed]

I can say for certain that I've never seen a comic by that title.

[well. that IS quite a tale.] That is impressive. An evil scientist...it does make for excellent comic book material. Don't you agree, York? But psychic children... that must have been terrible. How many children were lost in this conspiracy?

[oh!] Where are my manners? Excuse me. I'm FBI Special Agent Francis Zach Morgan.

Please, just call me Zach. That's what everyone calls me.

And you are?

[VOICE] 8D

[howabout_now]

Nah, all of em are fine. Some are still weird, but they were like that before we put their brains back.

I'm Razputin, but everyone calls me Raz.

.... Special Agent? FBI? Really? No way...

[Now you've really got his attention. Not quite like the Psychonauts, but easily as mysterious.]

You don't have to kill me now that you told me right?

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

[...!] You were able to put them back in?

A pleasure to meet you, Raz.

[a small chuckle] No, I'm afraid I'm not like James Bond in that respect. I'm here to protect the people- not kill them.

[VOICE]

[howabout_now]

Well yeah. Recranialization's easy when you've got an expert on hand. A friend who's good with brains helped.

So do you go on bodyguard missions and take bullets for people?

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

Fascinating... And those involved suffered no ill-effects from the how did you put it? "recranialization?"

No, nothing so glamorous. I specialize in the solving of murders of young girls. I'm not usually in the business of taking bullets.

[VOICE]

[howabout_now]

Well. You get a headache at first but its not too bad.

Hmm... Could you by chance to do other stuff... like finding... not-dead young girls?

[VOICE]

[whiteroomed]

Find a live girl? Of course. No case is too big or too small.

What does the girl in question look like?

[VOICE]

[howabout_now]

Well... her name's Lili and we were just together on the jet before we got separated in this... well, wherever this place is. She's about as tall as me, she has red hair with two pigtails. She's psychic too.

And if it's not too much, there's agents Sasha Nein, Milla Vodello and Morry Oleander.

We gotta meet and get out of here quick as possible!