[voice again]
Hello sick people!
Normally, I would be concerned about a sudden outbreak of illness on the left portion of the Caravan, but nope, not today. Because Willy Wonka Land is a cruel, cruel place and you probably shouldn't have been swimming in the proverbial chocolate river anyways.
Just with your general complaining and walking by people looking miserable, you all have pneumonia. Joy. If you've been eating anything solid, stop. Start making smoothies out of half fruits and vegetables, half water and drink those when you get hungry.
If you're whiny enough that you want medicine, unfortunately you have to come invade my clinic. Your choices are garlic or iodine, but it depends on how severe your case is. So you're stuck with me. If you bring me something cool in payment, I might insult you less. I'm still on the lookout for musical instruments, since mermaid guitars suck.
Oh, and for any of you that may ask for my credentials, I'll just cut that part of the conversation short and say that you can believe that I'm a doctor or not, I really don't care. I'll also add on that if you're an idiot and start downing iodine, you're going to kill yourself. And I really don't want to have to lug your carcass down the stairs and throw you off the Caravan.
So come by the clinic.
If you dare.
Oh, and bring your roomie or someone else that doesn't mind touching you, by the way. Because I do mind.
Normally, I would be concerned about a sudden outbreak of illness on the left portion of the Caravan, but nope, not today. Because Willy Wonka Land is a cruel, cruel place and you probably shouldn't have been swimming in the proverbial chocolate river anyways.
Just with your general complaining and walking by people looking miserable, you all have pneumonia. Joy. If you've been eating anything solid, stop. Start making smoothies out of half fruits and vegetables, half water and drink those when you get hungry.
If you're whiny enough that you want medicine, unfortunately you have to come invade my clinic. Your choices are garlic or iodine, but it depends on how severe your case is. So you're stuck with me. If you bring me something cool in payment, I might insult you less. I'm still on the lookout for musical instruments, since mermaid guitars suck.
Oh, and for any of you that may ask for my credentials, I'll just cut that part of the conversation short and say that you can believe that I'm a doctor or not, I really don't care. I'll also add on that if you're an idiot and start downing iodine, you're going to kill yourself. And I really don't want to have to lug your carcass down the stairs and throw you off the Caravan.
So come by the clinic.
If you dare.
Oh, and bring your roomie or someone else that doesn't mind touching you, by the way. Because I do mind.