RANT: Morals within MY anime? Something must be wrong...
You know those little moments where you discover a deep-rooted moral system all because of a certain strong reaction to a situation... a fictional situation... in a television show... anime? Y'know, those moments when fandom makes reality all the more real -- or surreal? You picking up what I'm saying? No? Fine, that makes two of us.
Frankly, I'm just babbling for the hell of it to sound smart.
But I really do have a point here. Two separate situations in two separate anime have me up all in arms. Several friends and acquaintances don't see too much wrong with them (hey, it's fiction! wry so serious?). But I can't overlook it. It touches me deep inside, and not in a good way.
And the fact that I can't let go of these two things obviously alerts me where some of my strong-felt beliefs lie. It's refreshing. I almost feel too grey at times (darn those middle roads). I like having beliefs I feel passionate about. It makes me feel more tied to my younger years before life became so ambiguous (not that ambiguous is bad... just that it gets dull and predictable... I wanna feel again).
Not that I don't have morals/beliefs... they just never really exerted themselves in my fandom life... y'know, like separation of church vs. state, except in this case it's personal code vs. entertainment.
And again I ramble.
Back to the point at hand. Perhaps I should just explain the two different situations.
Situation #1: Lack of Free Will
Anime: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
The anime can unbelieveably piss me off sometimes to the confusion of one of my friends who loves it (bless her heart, I'm still grateful to have known the series... thanks for sharing it with me, Du-chan!). And it's more than just the character of Haruhi.
The fact that I held such utter disgust for Haruhi for a while surprised me. I like strong women, and I will always prefer the strong female character to the strong male character. Haruhi has a lot a qualities I find admirable. She thinks outside of the box, she's determined, she strives for improvement, she is not afraid what others think of her. All the same, she pisses me off.
Part of it is her attitude. She's way too bossy for her own good. She lords over people without really coming down to their level (I think she values the club as a whole and those who make up it, but does she value the individual person?). And also her head is too far up in clouds sometimes. I preferred the episodes where the viewers got to see a more insecure side to her.
However, what pisses me the most off is the situation.
Okay, so she's God. And the whole purpose of the club is to make certain she stays entertained and happy. People sign their lives over to please one person... they're catering to the whims of one girl who still has a lot of maturing to do. The immaturity I can deal with. It's the loss of free will that pisses me off.
The majority of the members feel it is their duty to do any and everything to please Ms. High and Mighty. Bend over backwards to kiss her ass and lick her shoes. And they just accept it. Really, what else can they do? If she ends up feeling bored of this universe, she could destroy it with just a single thought and never be none the wiser.
Which is another thing that really pisses me off. She is completely oblivious to everything. She can destroy lives in a second and she wouldn't even realize it. Of course, the whole point in not knowing is so that she won't destroy the universe in a freak-out fit, but still... I feel insulted for her... her and the people who kowtow before her.
And because she's oblivious, I can't even chalk it up to being her fault. She's none the wiser as to why they do what they do. She doesn't force them into losing their free will... they give it up themselves, because the situation won't allow them differently. She reaps the benefits of their woes while staying completely ignorant... allowed to play the eternal child.
Of course, this is an overly angsty, butt-hurt opinion. The show is lighthearted, for the most part, the characters aren't angsty over the situation - they make the best of it. There's bickering, wildness, all good fun, and it will probably be the best time of their lives. I realize that. However, the idea still doesn't fail to piss me off.
And the whole Kyon/Haruhi ship, I just don't like it. Perhaps, if and when she loses her Godly abilities. But for now, I have a hard time seeing beyond the master/slave dynamic.
Oh, I know the fandom arguments. "He's the only one who stands up against her, who puts her in her place. He can see and get in touch with her human side. He supports her, completes her, yin/yang, blah blah blah..." Yeah, I get it. And I can see where the appeal comes in (I've used similar arguments before for other couples). The fact of the matter is though that I DON'T LIKE IT.
Too many questions, too many ifs. If he does show affection for her, there's always that little voice in the back of my head going, "But is it genuine?" A devoted fan would say yes. I can't. His affection for her could all be due to the fact that she wants it. Because she's God. Also, he's never given the chance to really experience things for himself. He can't have affection for or go on dates with other women, because there's the fear of repercussions (the green-eyed monster doth mock you, Kyon). I see that as no different than the domineering boy/girlfriend who completely runs and ruins the other's life.
He can't do anything without being worried whether or not it is in her favor, and that's no way to live life... to always cater to someone else. He's never really given the chance to make mistakes (as all young, stupid adolescents do at one time or another), and as such he can't really grow. In fact, this runs true for everyone catering to her. We all have the right to disagree. Haruhi (or rather her powers) is a threat to this right. She is a threat to progress and growth.
With everything that's going on, I'm surprised that some of the characters aren't more mental. I read a fanfic before where Kyon finally snaps and kills Haruhi. It's a crime of passion and he regrets it deeply afterwards. I was initially thrown off by the fic and chalked it up as OOC, but over time I began to appreciate it. I don't ever see it coming true in the novels (because of the way the novels are set up... they're meant to be more light-hearted and fun... also with the character dynamics the way they are now it seems highly unlikely), but as an alternate universe I could see it as a possibility.
Kyon and Yuki are the two saving graces of the show. They're the only ones who openly defy Haruhi (okay, well, Yuki more ignores Haruhi's commands and looks for guidance from Kyon). Plus, I prefer their personalities - Kyon is like the male tsundere whose sarcasm and witty retorts never fail to amuse me, and Yuki just plain kicks ass (both physically and mentally)... and her interactions with humans makes for some cute situations. As such, it's probably not a surprise that I ship them together. I prefer their interactions to the Haruhi/Kyon interactions.
So, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has helped me realize two things:
SPOILERS BELOW!!! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN KEEPING UP WITH THE MANGA!!
Situation #2: Loss of Memories (Mind-rape)
Anime: Tsubasa Reservoire Chronicles
My affront to this was started by the same friend mentioned above. Once again, I know she meant no harm - she was just trying to cheer me up (I appreciate it, really), however, her response just felt... flippant. The situation obviously didn't bother her as much as it did me, and I think it was the fact that she didn't seem as disappointed about it is what slapped me in the face.
I'm talking about the fact that clone!Sakura had her memories permanently altered... that she would never remember what she had with clone!Syaoran.
I was distraught by this. And when I talked with my friend about this she responded with, "Well, she can always rebuild a relationship with him. The feelings are still there, right?"
A really hopeful, idealistic response. And I'm certain that those were the exact same words many fans of the ship were saying to themselves. To me, what she said felt like an insult to the whole situation. A shallow observation of the horror and pain.
Rape has always been one of my biggest personal red zones... THE squick factor. See how I underline, bold, and cap it? It's not "a" personal squick factor, it's "THE" personal squick factor. I'd condemn a rapist before a murderer.
And it doesn't matter the kind of rape, ALL of them twist me up. And c!Sakura was raped of her memories. She never had a say in the matter, she wasn't able to decide whether or not she was willing to sacrifice her memories. They were taken from her. She was mind-raped and forced to deal with the loss. No matter what, there would always be an invisible wall between herself and c!Syaoran, because he had memories that she didn't possess. And unless if there was some magical cure-all (such as c!Sakura's powers granting her the ability to be above the rules and not have to sacrifice anything), I saw the ending as nothing but tragic.
Of course, it's more than just the mind-rape that bothers me... just the fact that she lost her memories is tragic. If that happened to me... if my mother were to have amnesia and forget all about me? The pain would be so great, I can't even imagine it. Yes, there's always the hope of rebuilding things, but the memories would be one-sided. Our memories make us who we are, shaping our personalities and relationships. To suddenly lose that is to shatter bridges, upturn roads... you can carve and rebuild new ones all you like, but those well-worn paths would be gone unless if the memories returned.
I'd get through it, for my mom, because I love her a lot (like what c!Syaoran did for c!Sakura) but it would hurt. Because the need and love would be one-sided until new bonds could be formed.
Overall, the whole "loss of memories" thing in Tsubasa just bothered me. It was tragic and painful even before the whole story took a turn and went all classic CLAMP!emo.
So, yeah, enough ranting. Two series I probably take way too seriously, but, oh well. I appreciate it none-the-less for reaffirming my morals and reminding me what it is I treasure. Sorry if I sounded so angry. /o/
Frankly, I'm just babbling for the hell of it to sound smart.
But I really do have a point here. Two separate situations in two separate anime have me up all in arms. Several friends and acquaintances don't see too much wrong with them (hey, it's fiction! wry so serious?). But I can't overlook it. It touches me deep inside, and not in a good way.
And the fact that I can't let go of these two things obviously alerts me where some of my strong-felt beliefs lie. It's refreshing. I almost feel too grey at times (darn those middle roads). I like having beliefs I feel passionate about. It makes me feel more tied to my younger years before life became so ambiguous (not that ambiguous is bad... just that it gets dull and predictable... I wanna feel again).
Not that I don't have morals/beliefs... they just never really exerted themselves in my fandom life... y'know, like separation of church vs. state, except in this case it's personal code vs. entertainment.
And again I ramble.
Back to the point at hand. Perhaps I should just explain the two different situations.
Situation #1: Lack of Free Will
Anime: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
The anime can unbelieveably piss me off sometimes to the confusion of one of my friends who loves it (bless her heart, I'm still grateful to have known the series... thanks for sharing it with me, Du-chan!). And it's more than just the character of Haruhi.
The fact that I held such utter disgust for Haruhi for a while surprised me. I like strong women, and I will always prefer the strong female character to the strong male character. Haruhi has a lot a qualities I find admirable. She thinks outside of the box, she's determined, she strives for improvement, she is not afraid what others think of her. All the same, she pisses me off.
Part of it is her attitude. She's way too bossy for her own good. She lords over people without really coming down to their level (I think she values the club as a whole and those who make up it, but does she value the individual person?). And also her head is too far up in clouds sometimes. I preferred the episodes where the viewers got to see a more insecure side to her.
However, what pisses me the most off is the situation.
Okay, so she's God. And the whole purpose of the club is to make certain she stays entertained and happy. People sign their lives over to please one person... they're catering to the whims of one girl who still has a lot of maturing to do. The immaturity I can deal with. It's the loss of free will that pisses me off.
The majority of the members feel it is their duty to do any and everything to please Ms. High and Mighty. Bend over backwards to kiss her ass and lick her shoes. And they just accept it. Really, what else can they do? If she ends up feeling bored of this universe, she could destroy it with just a single thought and never be none the wiser.
Which is another thing that really pisses me off. She is completely oblivious to everything. She can destroy lives in a second and she wouldn't even realize it. Of course, the whole point in not knowing is so that she won't destroy the universe in a freak-out fit, but still... I feel insulted for her... her and the people who kowtow before her.
And because she's oblivious, I can't even chalk it up to being her fault. She's none the wiser as to why they do what they do. She doesn't force them into losing their free will... they give it up themselves, because the situation won't allow them differently. She reaps the benefits of their woes while staying completely ignorant... allowed to play the eternal child.
Of course, this is an overly angsty, butt-hurt opinion. The show is lighthearted, for the most part, the characters aren't angsty over the situation - they make the best of it. There's bickering, wildness, all good fun, and it will probably be the best time of their lives. I realize that. However, the idea still doesn't fail to piss me off.
And the whole Kyon/Haruhi ship, I just don't like it. Perhaps, if and when she loses her Godly abilities. But for now, I have a hard time seeing beyond the master/slave dynamic.
Oh, I know the fandom arguments. "He's the only one who stands up against her, who puts her in her place. He can see and get in touch with her human side. He supports her, completes her, yin/yang, blah blah blah..." Yeah, I get it. And I can see where the appeal comes in (I've used similar arguments before for other couples). The fact of the matter is though that I DON'T LIKE IT.
Too many questions, too many ifs. If he does show affection for her, there's always that little voice in the back of my head going, "But is it genuine?" A devoted fan would say yes. I can't. His affection for her could all be due to the fact that she wants it. Because she's God. Also, he's never given the chance to really experience things for himself. He can't have affection for or go on dates with other women, because there's the fear of repercussions (the green-eyed monster doth mock you, Kyon). I see that as no different than the domineering boy/girlfriend who completely runs and ruins the other's life.
He can't do anything without being worried whether or not it is in her favor, and that's no way to live life... to always cater to someone else. He's never really given the chance to make mistakes (as all young, stupid adolescents do at one time or another), and as such he can't really grow. In fact, this runs true for everyone catering to her. We all have the right to disagree. Haruhi (or rather her powers) is a threat to this right. She is a threat to progress and growth.
With everything that's going on, I'm surprised that some of the characters aren't more mental. I read a fanfic before where Kyon finally snaps and kills Haruhi. It's a crime of passion and he regrets it deeply afterwards. I was initially thrown off by the fic and chalked it up as OOC, but over time I began to appreciate it. I don't ever see it coming true in the novels (because of the way the novels are set up... they're meant to be more light-hearted and fun... also with the character dynamics the way they are now it seems highly unlikely), but as an alternate universe I could see it as a possibility.
Kyon and Yuki are the two saving graces of the show. They're the only ones who openly defy Haruhi (okay, well, Yuki more ignores Haruhi's commands and looks for guidance from Kyon). Plus, I prefer their personalities - Kyon is like the male tsundere whose sarcasm and witty retorts never fail to amuse me, and Yuki just plain kicks ass (both physically and mentally)... and her interactions with humans makes for some cute situations. As such, it's probably not a surprise that I ship them together. I prefer their interactions to the Haruhi/Kyon interactions.
So, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has helped me realize two things:
- I am a strong advocate of free will... which I probably should have realized before seeing this and I guess I always knew - I just never realized how strongly. I am the kind of person that just goes with the flow, like water under the bridge, and I can adapt to a lot of situations. But the idea of no free will pisses me off like no other.
- I guess I don't like every strong woman that I come across, real or fake, which makes me sadhat. It feels almost unforgivable to not like a independent, unique, passionate female character. Which is why I ALMOST prefer the Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya world to the original Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It's more forgivable for me to dislike Haruki... I feel no qualms calling him a masochistic prickish pig.
SPOILERS BELOW!!! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN KEEPING UP WITH THE MANGA!!
Situation #2: Loss of Memories (Mind-rape)
Anime: Tsubasa Reservoire Chronicles
My affront to this was started by the same friend mentioned above. Once again, I know she meant no harm - she was just trying to cheer me up (I appreciate it, really), however, her response just felt... flippant. The situation obviously didn't bother her as much as it did me, and I think it was the fact that she didn't seem as disappointed about it is what slapped me in the face.
I'm talking about the fact that clone!Sakura had her memories permanently altered... that she would never remember what she had with clone!Syaoran.
I was distraught by this. And when I talked with my friend about this she responded with, "Well, she can always rebuild a relationship with him. The feelings are still there, right?"
A really hopeful, idealistic response. And I'm certain that those were the exact same words many fans of the ship were saying to themselves. To me, what she said felt like an insult to the whole situation. A shallow observation of the horror and pain.
Rape has always been one of my biggest personal red zones... THE squick factor. See how I underline, bold, and cap it? It's not "a" personal squick factor, it's "THE" personal squick factor. I'd condemn a rapist before a murderer.
And it doesn't matter the kind of rape, ALL of them twist me up. And c!Sakura was raped of her memories. She never had a say in the matter, she wasn't able to decide whether or not she was willing to sacrifice her memories. They were taken from her. She was mind-raped and forced to deal with the loss. No matter what, there would always be an invisible wall between herself and c!Syaoran, because he had memories that she didn't possess. And unless if there was some magical cure-all (such as c!Sakura's powers granting her the ability to be above the rules and not have to sacrifice anything), I saw the ending as nothing but tragic.
Of course, it's more than just the mind-rape that bothers me... just the fact that she lost her memories is tragic. If that happened to me... if my mother were to have amnesia and forget all about me? The pain would be so great, I can't even imagine it. Yes, there's always the hope of rebuilding things, but the memories would be one-sided. Our memories make us who we are, shaping our personalities and relationships. To suddenly lose that is to shatter bridges, upturn roads... you can carve and rebuild new ones all you like, but those well-worn paths would be gone unless if the memories returned.
I'd get through it, for my mom, because I love her a lot (like what c!Syaoran did for c!Sakura) but it would hurt. Because the need and love would be one-sided until new bonds could be formed.
Overall, the whole "loss of memories" thing in Tsubasa just bothered me. It was tragic and painful even before the whole story took a turn and went all classic CLAMP!emo.
So, yeah, enough ranting. Two series I probably take way too seriously, but, oh well. I appreciate it none-the-less for reaffirming my morals and reminding me what it is I treasure. Sorry if I sounded so angry. /o/