for Nikola - November 10 (later)

[will_you_see]

Alcuin remembered telling Daniel shortly before he'd disappeared that he could not help but see a pattern in how his relationships ended here. That those who weren't simply gone... they chose others over him, eventually. James choosing House, Jack choosing Logan, Scotty choosing Prior, Daniel choosing Vala. Well, no, not over him, he knew that

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[thedevamper]

"The door is open, either come in or go away." Nikola said barely looking up from his book. Just because he was human now, didn't mean he wasn't aware of when someone was outside his room.

Turning a page, Nikola ran a hand through his dishevelled hair and sighed. Relaxed on top of his bed, Nikola had no immediate plans to go anywhere not even to answer the door. "Alcuin, pleasant surprise. Shut the door behind you."

[will_you_see]

Alcuin stepped inside, carefully shutting the door behind him, and then walked over to Nikola. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?" he asked, and without invitation, climbed up onto the bed with Nikola.

[thedevamper]

"No, I was just reading up on current studies on optimising gas turbine compression systems. Hardly important when you consider where we are," Nikola replied, placing the thick book of articles from England's top mechanical engineering universities to the other side so Alcuin could move towards him. "To what do I owe this pleasure? And in the middle of the day."

[will_you_see]

Alcuin moved to lay beside Nikola - well, more like on him, curled up against his side and slinging a leg over him.

"I was feeling... lonely," he admitted honestly.

[thedevamper]

Nikola moved his arm, hesitating for a moment as he looked down at Alcuin before sliding an arm around his shoulders. Nikola had to admit he was a little smug that Alcuin came to him and not to the idiot Maxxie or anyone.

"And why on Earth where you feeling lonely?" Nikola replied, stroking Alcuin's shoulder as Alcuin draped his leg across Nikola's.

[will_you_see]

Alcuin relaxed a little into the embrace when Nikola put an arm around him. "It's nothing," he said quietly. "I mean, it's foolish. Only... Maxxie. He ah, he has a boyfriend, I suppose."

[thedevamper]

Nikola's smug little smile got wider as Alcuin relaxed into him and confessed. Nikola knew it was only time before that little idiot wandered but he didn't think it would be quite so quickly. Now, if he could only get Helen and Will apart as well his life here would be complete.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't a litle glad of that," Nikola replied, schooling his features into a more neutral look. "He's an idiot."

[will_you_see]

"He's not an idiot," Alcuin sighed. "He's in love. And I cannot fault him for that. It's just that this has happened to me with some frequency... someone I'm with getting feelings for someone who, ah, isn't interested in sharing."

[thedevamper]

"He is. Especially if he doesn't want you," Nikola replied, sliding his hand down Alcuin's arm. And having met the man, boy, in question Nikola was certain that he was a complete and utter idiot. Then again Nikola certainly was biased against him. "Is that what you want then? Someone to share?"

[will_you_see]

"No, not... no. It isn't that I want anything particular, Nikola. I just... love as thou wilt. It isn't as if I am incapable of monogamy if it was truly what I wanted."

And he truly thought that if he had had more time with Delaunay, he wouldn't have wanted anyone else.

[thedevamper]

"What is it you wanted?" Nikola asked considering Alcuin. Nikola stretched his body, shifting his body until they were lying side by side. Alcuin's leg still draped over him, Nikola moved his arm beneath Alcuin's head and drew him close.

[will_you_see]

"That's a very broad question," Alcuin admitted, with a little smile. "I once thought that what I wanted was for someone to love me above all others, if only because I thought it was something I'd never have. Now, I don't think that matters so much. I'm only happy to be with someone who doesn't disappear." He sighed. "As for Maxxie, I don't know. I liked the way he made me feel. But I wasn't in love with him."

[thedevamper]

"Of course it is, you can learn the most scintillating things from people with broad questions. That way you can ask the sly, subtle ones later." Nikola said with a smirk, running his hand up and down Alcuin's arm before sliding it around his back. "Then you shouldn't feel so lonely, he made his choice and a rather stupid one at that but now, I get to reap the benefits."

[will_you_see]

Alcuin was quiet for a long moment, and then finally said, "Nikola, I'd like to ask you something, only don't... I mean, you can tell me the truth, I promise I won't let it..."

He sighed. "If Dr. Magnus were available. And if she said that she wanted you and only you. If she didn't want to... share. Would you cast me aside as well?"

As soon as Alcuin asked the question, he winced, wishing that he hadn't.

[thedevamper]

"Alcuin..." Nikola said softly, tilting Alcuin's head to look up at him. He was soft, sincere, fond but pretending to hide it and pretending to hide it rather badly. "That would never happen."

Nikola slid his hand down Alcuin's back, stroking gently. "Aside from the obvious reason that Helen knows me too well that she would never ask me that. She knows that I have fe- I'm not that type of man. I'm not John or Will."

[will_you_see]

Alcuin couldn't school away his immediate reaction; he would have just looked away if Nikola weren't holding his head up, but as it was, he couldn't hide that he looked rather crestfallen at first. But then he just nodded. "Fair enough," was all he said.

Because what else was there? Nikola was probably right; it wouldn't happen, so it didn't matter. The fact that he was in love with Helen was perhaps no different than Anafiel being in love with Rolande. Alcuin truly never thought that he would be someone's great love. The only person he'd come even close to feeling that way with was Rupert.

It didn't matter. He shouldn't have asked. In an attempt to brush it aside, he leaned in and kissed him softly.