B -21- The Mortal Moments
Exams start tomorrow... first one at 9 am... on the queens holiday. I hate exams, i find them a cruel and inaccurate way of measuring a persons intellect, let alone their progress.
I seem worse this time around... i mean, im not the most brilliant academic student, but i'm not the worst either. This year i've had a fair bit of trouble with it all and have lacked motivation. But I'm sure it will sort out... guess i wont know till the results come in.
What i hate most about exams is there affect on me... i get tired and emotional and other things stress me out. Finances for example... or just everyday little things. My insecurities pop up and panic about the way the people around me act. Or the way I act...
Fortunately I'm a much more calm person than i used to be and i usually just ignore the majority of my insecurities by assuring myself of the facts. But this process is one few people have ever really TRULY seen... its that part of me i try and keep hidden.... now of course there's someone in my life in the respect that i'm not used to, and i get quite paranoid of what they see... which just drives it further lol. But that part of life is good too. In fact, who am i kidding... my petty exam stress aside life is really good right now... i have things that i need and things that i want: a partner, friends, and things in my life to apply myself to, uni included... it negates boredom at least. It's easy to forget the moments that make life.
I thought having a job would make me a lot more relaxed... but i'm now alot more aware of my spending and bills are still popping up. Of course I wont take it for granted... it is a relief to know that, on the condition of still having this job (hopefully), i have or may have a security blanket for extreme times. I've never really had that since moving out... parents havent been much of an option. But after the novelty of having a bit of extra spending cash wears off i'll start saving for backup.
I feel the urge to throw a greeting out to Vikki and Tessa, two beautiful girls i miss muchly.... yesterday i couldn't stop thinking of tessa's bday bbq at her place... the sun, the alchohol...the cigarettes (oh how i miss you lol)...
...there we are; one of those moments... see its things like that i love... iso is stagnent but good for a laugh occasionally,
But its those moments; like the Bruny trip, Sals on the queens birthday, or O-Week last year, Maccas after a trip to Nutgrove, 'Tachos' and fishbowls, Christmas with friends not family... and silly pointless moments and jokes.
It's times when your with the people you love that really are worthy of time... and it can be tough to do everything you want to in what short amount of time we get...
...But as I remember it, it's the mortality of the moment that makes it a beautiful thing.
.........................
.........................
.........................
.........................see, told you: exams make me a needy emotional bitch...
Cheers, luv ya all!
I seem worse this time around... i mean, im not the most brilliant academic student, but i'm not the worst either. This year i've had a fair bit of trouble with it all and have lacked motivation. But I'm sure it will sort out... guess i wont know till the results come in.
What i hate most about exams is there affect on me... i get tired and emotional and other things stress me out. Finances for example... or just everyday little things. My insecurities pop up and panic about the way the people around me act. Or the way I act...
Fortunately I'm a much more calm person than i used to be and i usually just ignore the majority of my insecurities by assuring myself of the facts. But this process is one few people have ever really TRULY seen... its that part of me i try and keep hidden.... now of course there's someone in my life in the respect that i'm not used to, and i get quite paranoid of what they see... which just drives it further lol. But that part of life is good too. In fact, who am i kidding... my petty exam stress aside life is really good right now... i have things that i need and things that i want: a partner, friends, and things in my life to apply myself to, uni included... it negates boredom at least. It's easy to forget the moments that make life.
I thought having a job would make me a lot more relaxed... but i'm now alot more aware of my spending and bills are still popping up. Of course I wont take it for granted... it is a relief to know that, on the condition of still having this job (hopefully), i have or may have a security blanket for extreme times. I've never really had that since moving out... parents havent been much of an option. But after the novelty of having a bit of extra spending cash wears off i'll start saving for backup.
I feel the urge to throw a greeting out to Vikki and Tessa, two beautiful girls i miss muchly.... yesterday i couldn't stop thinking of tessa's bday bbq at her place... the sun, the alchohol...the cigarettes (oh how i miss you lol)...
...there we are; one of those moments... see its things like that i love... iso is stagnent but good for a laugh occasionally,
But its those moments; like the Bruny trip, Sals on the queens birthday, or O-Week last year, Maccas after a trip to Nutgrove, 'Tachos' and fishbowls, Christmas with friends not family... and silly pointless moments and jokes.
It's times when your with the people you love that really are worthy of time... and it can be tough to do everything you want to in what short amount of time we get...
...But as I remember it, it's the mortality of the moment that makes it a beautiful thing.
.........................
.........................
.........................
.........................see, told you: exams make me a needy emotional bitch...
Cheers, luv ya all!