I started the second draft of my Gloves Off pilot for Seminar in Writing, and turned the first ten pages in this week. I changed the story considerably: the evil clone fight is a pre-arranged and promoted event, Alex and Audra cancel it when the baby appears, Parvola gets angry and goes to their lair to fight them herself, they have to deflect her while keeping her from seeing the baby. I went with a completely different opening scene, an interview with Parvola on the local news regarding this fight. I think this works a lot better that just the characters in the lab talking at each other. I wanted to introduce the setting of this story as equally as the characters, deliver necessary exposition in a slightly more natural manner, and give more "otherworldly moments" like my professor suggestions. The professor seemed to regard draft two well, and I think that so far it is a major improvement.
INT. NEWSROOM - NIGHT
We are being shown a news broadcast. The tone is excited, glossy, and sensationalist. It has just as much fluff and gossip regarding prominent local figures as it has hard-hitting facts, equal parts network nightly news and Entertainment Tonight.
The camera pans across the nighttime skyline of Arch City. It's a bustling metropolis of sparkling skyscrapers and a massive, ornate arched bridge over the river that cuts through the middle of the city. A graphic spins onto the screen - “CHANNEL SIX NEWS AT 6”. A deep man's VOICE narrates.
VOICE
Channel Six News at 6, Arch City's number-one source for up-the-minute news on traffic, weather, politics, crime, superheroes, and the supervillains who fight them...
Each category is accompanied by a quick corresponding shot: cars plodding along the bridge, a lightning strike over the skyline, a woman with a hair bun speaking at a podium marked “MAYOR”, a close-up of handcuffs being slapped on wrists. Then a brief clip of a buff man in a gray and red bodysuit picking up a whole motorcycle, and a red-haired woman in a slick black catsuit jumping down from the cycle and kicking him, and him throwing the motorcycle at her. The superhero and the supervillain.
VOICE
With your anchors Ted Chad...
Montage of shots of a middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair and a thick mustache: drinking coffee, shaking hands with someone important-looking, winking.
VOICE
Carol Nancy...
Montage of shots of a slightly younger middle-aged woman with heavily highlighted brunette hair: reading papers on a clipboard, laughing in an interviewer's armchair, also winking.
VOICE
And your one-woman field team, “Infinite” Justine Jost...
Panning shot of a camera operator, sound mixer, on-site producer, and reporter setting up equipment on a sidewalk. They're all the same woman, a perky 20-something brunette. The reporter snaps her fingers, her figure wavers slightly, and an identical reporter instantly appears next to her. Both of them wink into the camera.
An in-studio shot of TED, CAROL, and five JUSTINES smiling and standing in front of the polished wooden news desk.
VOICE
This is your Channel Six news team...
Image flies off the side of the screen to reveal a close-up of TED sitting at the news desk, nondescript red background screen behind him, tapping his papers into a neat stack.
TED
Good evening, folks, it's a beautiful night here in Arch City. Seventy degrees, light clouds on the horizon, the weather desk will be talking about that more later, but I can tell you for sure that it's quite an evening for an after-dinner stroll. (dramatic pause) Or a fight?
The camera pans over slightly to the right, giving enough space over TED'S shoulder for a flashy graphics box labeled “FIGHT OF THE NIGHT.”
TED
Our top story tonight is the promised title fight between up-and-coming young supergirl Parvola -
A photo appears on the screen as he says this, labeled “FILE PHOTO”. It's an image of PARVOLA standing amid a pile of post-fight rubble on a street corner. She's a teenage girl in blue high-top tennis shoes, denim shorts, and a pink tank-top, with two electric-blue pigtails blooming from the back of her head.
Taken by themselves, such appearance choices would be cutesy, but not when placed on her body. There are bruises and scratches up and down her toned legs and muscled arms, her hands are planted jauntily on her hips, and her face looks almost arrogant.
TED (V.O.)
- and her evil clone, to be supplied by villain couple Alexander and Audra Morgan, nicknamed the King and Queen of Crime for their longevity and success in the enemy arts.
PARVOLA is replaced with a “FILE PHOTO” of ALEX and AUDRA, sitting in their lair side by side in luxurious gold and velvet thrones, gloved hands clasped between them. She wears a long black dress, he a black suit, both in gold crowns. They're in their mid-forties, and have the look of people who have led hard lives but have the ability to pamper themselves now. All the gray has been dyed out of the voluminous black hair over Audra's creased brow and calculating green eyes, although Alex is fine with the streaks of gray in the shoulder-length burgundy hair that frame his surprisingly easy-going face.
Back to the shot of TED at the desk.
TED
Channel Six's own Carol Nancy has Parvola here in the Interviewer's Corner to talk about tonight's much-anticipated battle. Carol?
Cut to a shot of CAROL sitting in a beige armchair in front of a nondescript blue background screen and a perfunctory fake plant.
CAROL
Thanks, Ted. Evil clone fights have been hosted in the past, such as the Professor Peril vs. Hank Goodness bout eight years ago, but this one is different. No surprise attacks here, the fight is pre-arranged between the two parties and heavily promoted. Excitement is high, especially due to the hero involved - she's one of the city's new favorites.
The camera zooms out to show PARVOLA seated across from CAROL in an identical bland beige armchair. She sits on the edge, arms and legs crossed, looking smug.
CAROL
Parvola Parall, just turned fifteen, is a sophomore at Arch City East Private School by day, and a tough-as-nails crime-fighter by night. Parvola, we're so grateful you were able to fit Channel Six into your busy schedule.
PARVOLA
You're welcome.
CAROL
You have quite the important fight planned for tonight, can you tell us about that?
PARVOLA
City Gardens, ten PM. Taking on my own evil clone. (Pounds her fist into her hand.) She won't stand a chance.
CAROL
But it's you. Are you worried about having to fight a copy of yourself, with all your same powers and instincts?
PARVOLA
Fighting a clone would be a challenge, I'll take on any challenge, but an evil clone? Shoddy craftsmanship. I'm a hero, always have been. An evil me is a me that's broken, she won't be able to function.
CAROL
Your nemeses, the King and Queen, they've been in the villain business for years, before you were even born. They believe they can create a weapon that can beat you, knock you down a peg, are you worried at all about losing to their evil plan tonight?
PARVOLA
They're not mad scientists, they're just a couple of overdressed thieves. I don't even think they graduated high school. No, I'm not worried.
PARVOLA stands up, one hand on her hip, the other pointing into the camera.
PARVOLA
I'm sure you're watching this, (teasingly) Mrs. and Mrs. Morgan, and this is my solemn promise: I will beat you. Not saying you're any sort of a threat (throwing her hands up in sarcastic surrender), but any force of evil, no matter how lame, is going down. Bring your clone, bring your minions, I don't care -
CAROL
Parvola, I'm sorry, hold on...
CAROL has turned to see TED walking up to her from the right side of the stage. He looks concerned. He leans down and whispers something in her ear, and she nods seriously.
CAROL
(looking into the camera) We're just received word from the Morgans' henchwoman that the fight has been canceled.
PARVOLA
(looking over to the newscasters) WHAT?
TED
(also speaking into the camera) No further details are available at this time -
PARVOLA
Those cowards!
PARVOLA grabs TED by his suit jacket lapels, lifting the man off his feet.
PARVOLA
What did they say to you? What did they say?!
CAROL
Parvola, this isn't very heroic behavior -
PARVOLA frees one hand from TED'S jacket and, without even looking at her, pushes CAROL with tremendous force into the chairs, knocking them down and puncturing a hole in the background screen. Crew members rush to help, including a few JUSTINE copies. The screen changes to a “TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES” image.
CUT TO:
INT. LAIR/LABORATORY - NIGHT
A close-up on LADYKILLER, the Morgans' henchwoman. She leans against a wall, talking in hushed tones on her slim black cell phone. She wears tall black boots, close-fitting black pants, and a black jacket with gold buttons and epaulets, and her blond hair is cut short and sharp. Very clean-cut and professional, for someone whose primary duties are punching superheroes and driving the getaway car after bank heists. Tonight she is also serving as press agent.
LADYKILLER
(on the phone) No, we can't give you any more information... Yes, it's canceled, we don't know when... Look, just leave us alone, okay?
LADYKILLER hangs up the phone, sighing as she slips it back into her pocket.
AUDRA (OFF-SCREEN)
What is this?
LADYKILLER turns to look at her boss, and we follow her gaze. Cut to a quick, but detailed, establishing shot of the lab.
We're in the laboratory of the Morgans' lair, a small room stuffed with metal desks, computer monitors, racks of test tubes, piles of papers, and old coffee cups. It has dark paint and no windows, lit only with dim greenish lamps on the wall and one strong spotlight over the cloning machine in the center of the room. The machine is comprised of a compartment big enough for a man to stand in and dozens of tubes and wires coming out it and connecting to various computers and chemical vats.
While ALEX looks into the fog-emitting compartment of the cloning machine with wonder on his face, his agitated, nearly livid wife AUDRA is chastising the scientist who built it. MICHAEL is his name, and while he's just a 25-year-old grad student with a young man's untidy black hair and distressed jeans under his lab coat, he has the furrowed brow and bitter eyes of someone much older. His normal intense focus is currently overshadowed by a nervous defensiveness.
MICHAEL
Well, it is a clone...
AUDRA
Oh, as if that means something! It's like we asked you to build us an impenetrable super-tank with a tactical weapons system, and you gave us (flustered with anger) a, a Hot Wheels with a laser pointer taped to it!
MICHAEL
You'll still have your evil clone girl, you'll just have to wait, um, a while...
AUDRA
We gave you a month, and that was stretching it! We don't have the time to wait for this thing to mature, Parvola will have taken down every villain in the whole of Arch City by then.
ALEX
(snapping his head up, sounding hurt) Can we not call her a 'thing' please?
AUDRA
(continuing) What kind of scientist are you, anyway?
MICHAEL
I'm just a grad student, I've never done anything on this scale before!
AUDRA
And you know what, you're not going to do anything on this scale again. You're fired.
AUDRA stomps her foot down on what is apparently a hidden button in the floor, and the tile under MICHAEL'S feet opens up, dropping him down into a classic supervillain trap door. He calls up faintly to her.
MICHAEL (off-screen)
Does this mean you won't give me a good evaluation on my internship?
AUDRA releases her foot off the button and the trap door slides closed. She closes her eyes, rubs her temples, takes a moment to compose herself.
AUDRA
My husband and I are going to need a moment, Ladykiller.
LADYKILLER
(nods dutifully) I'll go call Eric.
AUDRA
Yes, good, good idea.
LADYKILLER exits as AUDRA goes up to ALEX, who is leaning into the cloning machine, as if he's picking up whatever is laying inside of it.
AUDRA
Alex, what are we going to do?
ALEX stands up straight, facing her. In his arms is a squirming infant girl wrapped in what looks like a dress many sizes too big for her. She has Parvola's same electric blue hair and fuschia eyes. ALEX looks down at the baby, then up at AUDRA, shrugging hopefully.
ALEX
Raise her.
CUT TO OPENING CREDITS