that's just the way it is
This has been a surprisingly normal week, considering my Grandma died on Friday. I kept a hair appointment I had already made for Saturday morning, and spent the rest of the day napping and watching Cars and playing on Tumblr. My parents went to Columbia again and James was at a concert, so I ordered Domino's for myself. Chicken, mushroom, and onion pizza with white sauce, plus a Pibb and a chocolate lava crunch cake. That was lovely. I spent Sunday doing homework, since I didn't want to pull the "my grandmother died" card on my professors when I was really just sitting at home all weekend. We made nachos for dinner as per Superbowl tradition, but I never watch the game and I think dad was only half paying attention. I spent Monday doing more homework, along with the APO rush week meet and greet and a trip to Buffalo Wild Wings. Today I let myself rest and Tumblr some more and watch three episodes of Avatar and play Apples to Apples with some APO friends.
I'm handling things surprisingly well. I still haven't visited Grandpa yet and that'll be really rough, but for now I'm fine. I was talking to Sam earlier and told her that I probably used most of my allotment of sad feelings on her dad's death and being concerned about her and her family, and elderly and frail grandparents dying just don't seem so bad after all that.
Besides Sam because she's my very best friend, I've only told LiveJournal about Grandma passing away. Nothing on Facebook or Tumblr, I didn't even tell my roommate until today, and that's just because she had to listen to me talk to Sam on the phone about it. (I did tell my library supervisor after she directly asked me, "What did you do this weekend?") I just don't want to make a big deal out of it. I loved Grandma Wilkinson and we were close and I'm going to miss her and feel awful for Grandpa and my dad and the rest of the family, but nothing happened that wasn't supposed to happen. It's the way things go, and I am okay with it and I am moving on. I don't want people at school looking at me and thinking "Gosh, she's been through a lot and she's going on with her normal life, she's so brave" when I'm just thinking "I hope the cafeteria has fresh salad tonight."
When I was a little girl, nine years old or so, Grandma showed me an opal pendant in her jewelry box and promised that I could have it when she passed away, because both our birthdays are in October and that's our birthstone. Apparently she gave it to dad when he went to visit her last weekend, and he gave it to me when he got home Saturday night. It's prettier than I remembered, vividly colored and on a 24k gold chain because she's allergic to nickel jewelry just like I am. It's in a leather box along with a receipt for the chain and a magazine cutout about caring for opals. Grandma was always organized, saving and dating every piece of paper. I never forgot that she promised me the necklace, and I'm touched that she never forgot either, and made sure that sending it to me was one of the last things she did.
I didn't think I was going to, but I kept crying while typing that last paragraph. I'm still okay, though. Like I said, these are just things that happen. People cry over family heirlooms all the time.
I'm handling things surprisingly well. I still haven't visited Grandpa yet and that'll be really rough, but for now I'm fine. I was talking to Sam earlier and told her that I probably used most of my allotment of sad feelings on her dad's death and being concerned about her and her family, and elderly and frail grandparents dying just don't seem so bad after all that.
Besides Sam because she's my very best friend, I've only told LiveJournal about Grandma passing away. Nothing on Facebook or Tumblr, I didn't even tell my roommate until today, and that's just because she had to listen to me talk to Sam on the phone about it. (I did tell my library supervisor after she directly asked me, "What did you do this weekend?") I just don't want to make a big deal out of it. I loved Grandma Wilkinson and we were close and I'm going to miss her and feel awful for Grandpa and my dad and the rest of the family, but nothing happened that wasn't supposed to happen. It's the way things go, and I am okay with it and I am moving on. I don't want people at school looking at me and thinking "Gosh, she's been through a lot and she's going on with her normal life, she's so brave" when I'm just thinking "I hope the cafeteria has fresh salad tonight."
When I was a little girl, nine years old or so, Grandma showed me an opal pendant in her jewelry box and promised that I could have it when she passed away, because both our birthdays are in October and that's our birthstone. Apparently she gave it to dad when he went to visit her last weekend, and he gave it to me when he got home Saturday night. It's prettier than I remembered, vividly colored and on a 24k gold chain because she's allergic to nickel jewelry just like I am. It's in a leather box along with a receipt for the chain and a magazine cutout about caring for opals. Grandma was always organized, saving and dating every piece of paper. I never forgot that she promised me the necklace, and I'm touched that she never forgot either, and made sure that sending it to me was one of the last things she did.
I didn't think I was going to, but I kept crying while typing that last paragraph. I'm still okay, though. Like I said, these are just things that happen. People cry over family heirlooms all the time.