outlet
real friends are people you can share your bad times with. im pretty lost in myself. i wish i understood
i dont know
and i dont really do anything
because im confused
and dont have any guidance. or i do
and i dont know what to do with it.
its hard to make sense of things when you think things should be fine. and to have fun. and enjoy this time. because thats the way its supposed to be in college. i guess thats bullshit though, that generalization.
but what really matters...
and am i fine or not.
im not. but i should be. and i always feel differently from one moment to the next, at least thats the way it feels when things are bad. cause in a second theyre not again. and then theyre really bad.
and i dont know if its worthwhile to waste time being upset or how to express myself. because there is so much good to take advantage of. and these moments of sadness and uncertainty are then made invaluable, because it seems worthless to indulge in them. because it seems very difficult to build relationships from them and it sucks to not be putting your best foot forward all the time. but they're there. and hiding them cant help. that just causes breakdowns. i cant even judge anymore where i have been.
so which one is it? fuck it and will forgetting everything as wrong and being able to have fun actually erase the problems and make things better and create good? or should you be honest with yourself but waste time with sadness and problems and feel like a failure and missing out.
and why does everything seem so impossible and seemingly complicated? i dont like trying to express negative emotions because i feel like its dramatic. and i tend to judge people for not being able to solve their problems. and i dont want to be one of them.
so, why are things like this? it seems like everything should be simple. i dont know what standard im holding myself up to, maybe myself of the past. i just cant deal with reality. but maybe im not that different than before.
anyway i have to go finish that paper. because its late. and im a step away from failing all of my classes
i dont know
and i dont really do anything
because im confused
and dont have any guidance. or i do
and i dont know what to do with it.
its hard to make sense of things when you think things should be fine. and to have fun. and enjoy this time. because thats the way its supposed to be in college. i guess thats bullshit though, that generalization.
but what really matters...
and am i fine or not.
im not. but i should be. and i always feel differently from one moment to the next, at least thats the way it feels when things are bad. cause in a second theyre not again. and then theyre really bad.
and i dont know if its worthwhile to waste time being upset or how to express myself. because there is so much good to take advantage of. and these moments of sadness and uncertainty are then made invaluable, because it seems worthless to indulge in them. because it seems very difficult to build relationships from them and it sucks to not be putting your best foot forward all the time. but they're there. and hiding them cant help. that just causes breakdowns. i cant even judge anymore where i have been.
so which one is it? fuck it and will forgetting everything as wrong and being able to have fun actually erase the problems and make things better and create good? or should you be honest with yourself but waste time with sadness and problems and feel like a failure and missing out.
and why does everything seem so impossible and seemingly complicated? i dont like trying to express negative emotions because i feel like its dramatic. and i tend to judge people for not being able to solve their problems. and i dont want to be one of them.
so, why are things like this? it seems like everything should be simple. i dont know what standard im holding myself up to, maybe myself of the past. i just cant deal with reality. but maybe im not that different than before.
anyway i have to go finish that paper. because its late. and im a step away from failing all of my classes