Rich Whore Rents Videos
Rich people, man... While I was visiting Jarrad last night at the video store he works at in Bel Air, Paris Hilton came in with her new man, fellow young heir Paris Latsis (yes, Paris Hilton is now seeing a boy who is also named Paris. Are any of us really surprised?). She picked out a few movies, threw them on the counter, and began wandering around the store while Male Paris had the following conversation with Jarrad at the counter:
Jarrad: Do you have an account with us?
Male Paris: No.
J: Then can you fill this out and can I get a driver's license and credit card?
MP: I gotta fill this out?
J: Yes.
MP: Why?
J: Because you need an account to rent with us.
MP: Oh, I'm not renting these, I'm buying these.
J: This is a video rental store, you can't buy these.
MP: But we just want to buy these.
J: Yes, but we don't sell these. We rent these.
MP: *SIGH* Fine...
All the while, Female Paris is grazing through the candy section, opening packages at will and eating. When she tastes a candy she likes, she grabs several packages of it and throws it down in the pile of purchases on the counter. She is conducting a thousand conversations on both her cell and Sidekick. She heads over to the frozen ice cream bars, opens one, and begins to eat that as well. She asks Jarrad if there is a bathroom, he directs her to the Starbucks next door, she leaves while still eating the ice cream bar and returns without it. Meanwhile, back at the counter...
MP: Why do you need to put my credit card on file?
J: In case you run off with the videos, we will charge your card for them.
MP: Oh.
At this point, Male Paris takes a minute to yell at his ticket broker over the phone about how he wants backstage Duran Duran tickets. It sounds like he gets them.
J: So these are due back tomorrow.
MP: I have to bring these back tomorrow?!
J: Yes, that's when they're due.
MP: What if I don't?
J: Then you will get late fees until we get them back.
MP: What if I never bring them back?
J: Then we will charge your credit card for them.
MP: Oh.... Ok.....
The two Parises walk out with their movies (for the record, Shark Tale, The Notebook, and White Chicks - Paris has such good taste in movies, no wonder she's at Sundance every year!) Female Paris is still texting on her Sidekick and eating sour gummy ropes as they leave.
Me: I don't think you guys are going to get those movies back.
Jarrad: I can't believe that bitch stole an ice cream bar.
Jarrad: Do you have an account with us?
Male Paris: No.
J: Then can you fill this out and can I get a driver's license and credit card?
MP: I gotta fill this out?
J: Yes.
MP: Why?
J: Because you need an account to rent with us.
MP: Oh, I'm not renting these, I'm buying these.
J: This is a video rental store, you can't buy these.
MP: But we just want to buy these.
J: Yes, but we don't sell these. We rent these.
MP: *SIGH* Fine...
All the while, Female Paris is grazing through the candy section, opening packages at will and eating. When she tastes a candy she likes, she grabs several packages of it and throws it down in the pile of purchases on the counter. She is conducting a thousand conversations on both her cell and Sidekick. She heads over to the frozen ice cream bars, opens one, and begins to eat that as well. She asks Jarrad if there is a bathroom, he directs her to the Starbucks next door, she leaves while still eating the ice cream bar and returns without it. Meanwhile, back at the counter...
MP: Why do you need to put my credit card on file?
J: In case you run off with the videos, we will charge your card for them.
MP: Oh.
At this point, Male Paris takes a minute to yell at his ticket broker over the phone about how he wants backstage Duran Duran tickets. It sounds like he gets them.
J: So these are due back tomorrow.
MP: I have to bring these back tomorrow?!
J: Yes, that's when they're due.
MP: What if I don't?
J: Then you will get late fees until we get them back.
MP: What if I never bring them back?
J: Then we will charge your credit card for them.
MP: Oh.... Ok.....
The two Parises walk out with their movies (for the record, Shark Tale, The Notebook, and White Chicks - Paris has such good taste in movies, no wonder she's at Sundance every year!) Female Paris is still texting on her Sidekick and eating sour gummy ropes as they leave.
Me: I don't think you guys are going to get those movies back.
Jarrad: I can't believe that bitch stole an ice cream bar.