(no subject)
Yeah...so apparently now my ex and i are friends again????? omggggggg i dont know anymore!! this is so confusing! he called me like 2 days ago and we talked for a while...not like serious serious talk or whatever, but at least we're talking....its been a while...it made my night, seriously. i was having the worst day ever and that just made things so much better. then we talked again last night...not for that long tho cuz i was at candle light. to tell u the truth tho it was weird last night. i apologized cuz the night before when we were talking his gf called and he said he'd call me back, then he did and then she called again and he told her he'd talk to her 2marrow and then she called again and told her he was talkin to me and he'd talk to her later. so he told her he was gonna talk to me and then call her. i dunno its weird. he like "put her on hold" for me i guess. it was funny. i dunno. at one point he had me on one line and her on the other and switched back and fourth to tell her he would talk to her later. its weird. so i apologized for making things weird w/ him and his gf and he said it was all good and they talked about it and its fine. so i dunno. it kinda makes me think like we really are just going to be friends. i mean...ughhhhh i want to be more than that SO bad! but...i guess i'll take what i can get ya know? when i was talkin to ppl that know him and stuff and they were like "omg liz ur so dumb! u can get him back!!!!" and stuff. i dunno if i should believe that or not. i mean....ugh....i mean...when i say i love someone, i either mean it as in "ur my friend i love youuuu" like casual. but the only other time i say i love you is when i REALLY REALLY mean it....and otherwise i wont say it to you ya know? i would never tell someone i didnt love them in a serious way if i didnt mean it, but i do still really love him so it kinda sucks. plus his gf....UGH! so my friends anna and ryan are gonna try to get all four of us to hang out again like old times...dunno how well THATS gonna work... i dont know everyone is telling me that we'll get back together and all that, but at the same time, its not about what THEY think...its about how MARK thinks and feels. for all i know they could b reading it wrong and i dont wanna get my hopes up again for something that isnt going to happen ya know? cuz that would hurt so much that i cant even begin to describe it! ugh. gotta love life. oh and now the guy at school who i dont like anymore is talkin to me again..WHHHHHAT is THIS?!?!?!?! i seriously have different spurts w/ guys. at one time theres no one and im ignored, other times i dont know what to do or how to feel or take things. SO confusing! whatever. that sounded like i was bragging but im really not, sometimes i just dunno what to think. see, this is why i value my guy friends, cuz i know they only see me as FRIENDS and nothing else! it takes a lot of pressure off...and i know they arent tryin to get some...ya know? alright im done rambling back to my boring friday night.