Obligations of loving an Acelin
As previously mentioned in my first blog, there is a certain individual of the male gender whom I’ve come to care for considerably.
And that’s both saying something and not.
I have this horrible habit that when I come in contact with someone truly unique and awe inspiring, I latch onto them quickly and make myself believe they are ‘the one’.
I will go on forever with this delusion until I come to the point where I’m either stalker material, or I end up hurting myself because it falls through.
And don’t worry… I’m not talking about physical harm. Just emotional stuff even the sturdiest of super glue and duct tape can’t fix.
Which is kind of funny since no one notices. Well, unless I take the time to spell it out clearly and put a giant stamp on my forehead.
I’m the invisible wonder.
But I digress.
This boy/man is about three or four years older than me and so jaded by life there’s no possible way to find a true word for it. He’s seen horrors and tragedies that make Greek Mythology look like episodes of Spongebob.
And I seriously had no clue at first.
See, I met him on a place known as ‘CC’ or ‘Cyber Chat’.
And before your brains go down the gutter… it’s only for D&D type stuff and story writing.
Y’know… interactive and instant chat role playing?
Yeah, whatever, doesn’t matter if you get the picture. Moving on.
When I first met him… I thought he was going to be an idiot. Intelligent. But an idiot. XD Boy was I in for a surprise. Despite the presence of some other female character practically attached to his hip, his little Vega interacted with my Emily in a way I hadn’t experienced for a looooooong time. They were fire and that laminated stuff on I.D. cards. She would try to insult him and he’d just keep on letting her words slid off.
It was awesome.
So, as you can imagine, I fell in love with his character first. Then, after a while, he invited me and my friend Suz to chat with him outside of the site on MSN messenger.
I tried soooo hard to seem uninteresting that is was pitiful. I was completely sure, since Suz had liked him just as much as me, she’d get her usual way and try to seduce him over the internet or something. I was so set in defeat I didn’t even TRY to fight her.
But it didn’t matter.
He still ended up choosing me in the long run and we’ve spent a few YEARS talking to each other.
Though a few things still bother me.
One: He wont engage web cam.
Two: No phone contact.
Now, I myself usually don’t like either of these things very much. I prefer phone over cam but will probably do both if I’m pestered enough...
I don’t know why those two things bother me. But they do.
Moving on.
So, as you‘d probably guessed, we slowly got to know each other and I was quickly falling head over heels into what I thought was going to be big cushy pillows.
Yeah… No.
What I thought was him truly being ‘happy’ and ‘interested’ in me turned out to be him going through Hell and not wanting me to know while simultaneously making me his ‘go to‘ person. Oh, now don’t get me wrong, he does care and worry about me too… and he’s the biggest sweetheart you’ll ever meet… but there was some crucial rules and information he hadn’t given to me at the start.
Which would have saved me quite a bit of grief in the long run.
Here’s a few of them I had to learn the hard way…
1. Do not be having a bad day.
2. Do not relate to any issues he may be experiencing currently or in the past.
3. Do not mention friends or family members.
4. Do not mention anything about your life you find particularly entertaining.
5. Do not make him worry.
6. Do not confide in him anything that is bother you.
7. Do make him feel like your world revolves around him.
8. Do not mention anyone else of the male gender.
9. Do not get distracted while talking to him.
10. Do not leave the computer for long amounts of time.
11. Log on every day.
12. Keep him as happy as possible.
13. Do not give him advice.
14. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES MAKE A REFERENCE TO HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND
As you can see… is a stressed relationship on my end. As much as I loved being with him before, it quickly grew out of hand.
So much so that I eventually tried to make him hate me so he’d leave of his own accord and let me live in peace. Didn’t work.
You see, he doesn’t have very many friends. Most have either figured out their own lives are rather important and others have simply killed themselves.
I’m not kidding.
He tends to make acquaintances with severely depressed people and then later wonders why he’s all alone. *Bangs head on desk in frustration.*
Not only that, but he’s still really torn up over his ex-girlfriend. He can’t even THINK about her for one millisecond without losing it and hurting himself. And all because she tried to force him to take care of himself and later said these ‘horrible’ words…
“I love you. But I’m not IN LOVE with you anymore.”
Catastrophic, yes? Yeah…
And now he sees me as her replacement. Not only that, but also a substitute for all his other friends as well.
I’m his savior.
And all because I just HAD to sit there and be all ‘I’m not going to be like THEM’ before I knew what it really meant to be his friend.
Now I’m just like them and can’t seem to be with him without wanting to smack some sense into his muddled head.
Speaking of muddled head…
Apparently he can’t go more than two days without his ‘meds’ before he starts hallucinating and begins to carve up his body with a steak knife.
Yep. Why hadn’t I read the fine print???
Now I’m in love with a stalker who wont let me go now matter what. Even if I try to make him hate me… he only get’s worse.
He actually found me on myspace.
I’d cut off all contact to him and he made an account with myspace, which he LOATHES, and sat there for four days flipping through pages of usernames until he found me.
He even memorized the way I type and make character profiles. Just so he could keep tabs on who I talked with on CC…
He’s beyond creepy.
But, then again, he also has his moments when he’s the man I first met. Like he knows just the right moment to suddenly be perfect and keep me around.
If it wasn’t for the fact he tried to kill himself once because of me… I think I’d stop getting online permanently and become a Buddhist monk.
Le sigh.