upsetting, but atleast i now know
someone told me that john got a girl pregnat and then she had a miscarrige, john denys it....point of the story is that johns had sex with 3 girls and lied to me about all 3...anyone want to tell me why i should believe him about anything? ok, so here we go, no more being scared of whos going to be reading my journal, im just going to write whats going through my head so if it doesnt make sense, to bad...im not going to lie, i love john, i do, but its to the point where, all i do is be mad or upset, or cry with him, and its just so wrong, i just wish shit would be so different between us, i guess it never will be though, i dont know why it is so hard to just tell the truth.....well, since john is admitting about some amber girl, perhaps i should finally admit to sean daniels...most of my best friends know, number 63:-) supposibly hes this amazing funny guy...hopefully shit will go well there, i watched him play tonight, poor ava, she couldnt watch matty hoe, shes up in t-ville for swimming, i hope we did good at states...matt did good though, but anyways, went to firehouse before the game with robyn and nick, and then we went to the game, and i met this really really funny guy lance, iv seen him around school, hes a senior and hes just extremely nice, we basically talked the whole entire game, and then decided we wanted to leave cuz it was cold and we were hungry, i told him a little about john, and he then told me that im a sophmore in high school and that theres guys that can and will treat me the way i deserved to be treated, i didnt really go into detail cuz i dont really know him, but he knows the base line of the story, he told me i shouldnt let things like that make me depressed, and to try to not think about him, im not going to lie, he was on my mind a lot tonight, and then when i talked to lance he totally wasnt, it was pretty weird, im really just sick and tired of being lied to, i began to start thinking what everything would be like between john and i if he didnt lie to me, i really really think everything would be amazing, but unforuntley that didnt and wont happen, i guess talking to lance made me realize a lot of things, its my high school experience....and u only get one...i better make it worth the while instead of just dreading lake mary...oh man, i dont know, katie comes home tomororw:-) she always makes me feel better, ive got a game tomorrow morning BRIGHT and EARLY, fuck man, def dont want to go, oh well, and i think ro and i are gunna hang out, and then go see saw, maybe, nik will come up and he'll come see it with us, cuz he totlaly said he'd see it with me, and lance said he wanted to go see it too:-) allllllright well feel free to leave a comment, even if ur going to be rude....-stac