my life as it stands today
i'm in limbo,
i am on vacation from work and will return on the 20th. i have new work on my body which makes this time for me a limbo because i do not look like what i used to look like, but i am not healed so i don't look like what i will look like. i am definitely the in a cocoon right now. same little elle, but going to grow up a little bit.
emotionally, i am in the best place i have ever been. after vicky i thought i would never want to love again. but since i made the final cut with her, i have grown so much. it is true that sometime when something needs to end, it NEEDS to END. I've met a lot of different girls and women in my time alone and i have been having a great time. none of these girls are girls that i knew right off the bat i wanted to spend forever with, but i did know that for what they were, they were perfect. i was their "in the meantime" and they were my "in the meantime" and it is all great. i want to spend a little more time working on myself and then i am going to start considering long term relationships. i know better now what i want, but it is still vague. i may need to meet some more girls that are examples of what i dont want. (which i have had a fair share of) but soon, i will learn how to sort the good from the bad and when i find a good one, oh, she will know it. i used to say "i hope she exists" but now i KNOW she exists. i just need to find her, she is probably out there looking for me too.
i am on vacation from work and will return on the 20th. i have new work on my body which makes this time for me a limbo because i do not look like what i used to look like, but i am not healed so i don't look like what i will look like. i am definitely the in a cocoon right now. same little elle, but going to grow up a little bit.
emotionally, i am in the best place i have ever been. after vicky i thought i would never want to love again. but since i made the final cut with her, i have grown so much. it is true that sometime when something needs to end, it NEEDS to END. I've met a lot of different girls and women in my time alone and i have been having a great time. none of these girls are girls that i knew right off the bat i wanted to spend forever with, but i did know that for what they were, they were perfect. i was their "in the meantime" and they were my "in the meantime" and it is all great. i want to spend a little more time working on myself and then i am going to start considering long term relationships. i know better now what i want, but it is still vague. i may need to meet some more girls that are examples of what i dont want. (which i have had a fair share of) but soon, i will learn how to sort the good from the bad and when i find a good one, oh, she will know it. i used to say "i hope she exists" but now i KNOW she exists. i just need to find her, she is probably out there looking for me too.