A Play in Three Parts...
So I've not been here for a while. To be honest, I thought I might shut down this particular LJ as... well... it was created for wicked and naughty fun but the last while [read: couple of years] I've felt like my life was a tragicomedy written by some ancient Greek. But y'gotta chuckle. Me, I laugh. It's that or go nuts.
So... we've just passed the two year mark. Some of you'll know what I'm talking about. The rest can likely guess. But three parts, three things that I've thought about, revolving around three instances. Events. Circumstances. Whatever.
I was in Ottawa a few weeks back. Met a DJ friend of mine who suggested I need to check out a particular club. Heck, she'd go with me as it had been a while since she'd been dancing. And she'd bring her friend, Janice. Name did not clue me in. Yeah, I'm a guy so I'm dense. Janice is an ex of mine from about a dozen years ago. I didn't find it awkward... I had booze, music, people... but she did *shrug* So I did some thinking. I either see every one of my Exs, save two, for coffee or I see pictures now and again [thank you FaceBook!] and I've concluded that I date way above my station. I fuck girls that a guy like me shouldn't. Young, hot and intelligent. And all my Exs are STILL hot and intelligent. All of them still look good. Damned good. And of course they're intelligent... they all gave up on me *heh* Except the last two, all of 'em have married the next guy that came along after I did so... I'm a practice guy, obviously. And though I have high quality Exs, quantity is low. Thinking back, usually takes about four years or so between each relationship so I'm about halfway or so to the next one. Only two more years to wait *sigh*
As offline, so it shall be online. In the 'I can't win' category, there are a couple of online places I wander. I'm on a new Fetish site but can't remember the URL so I haven't been back there, though I'm told it's good. Like MySpace for the kinky set. Wait... Fetlife. That's it. I'll go there tonight. Craigslist is okay, though I'm getting used to getting no answer back from my responses. I'm near to putting up an advert myself saying "So what IS wrong with this picture?" and looking for advice from the women who read it. And yeah, I do know women read the casual section of Craigslist, several have told me. Though they usually read to get a laugh. Well, hell, I'm laughing lately. But that's an aside. I've mentioned that I spend time on an adult, bdsm oriented MUSH [text adventure like WoW or EverCrack but without the pretty graphics]. Yes, about half the female characters are male players [and strangely a good chunk of the boys are played by grrls...] but I find a few of the rare, the intelligent, the interesting... now and again my interest is piqued. One caught my eye a few weeks ago. She's listed as "switch" but wasn't looking for a Dominant as much as someone strong and forceful to be an equal with... give or take a bit. Sure. 'Course, I'm dominant in ALL I do, so it creeps in. Logged in Thursday and she felt she had to introduce me to this guy... now, I clued in when I was introduced as the "sorta online boyfriend" and he was introduced as the "master of". MMmmmmm yup, from the first words I knew where it was going. Of course neither of us is into sharing... I'm not big on being the OTHER GUY lately [AKA: The ONE WHO WAITS or HE WHO FILLS IN FOR]. So I bowed out. He also cheated... he stated he'd just destroy his character if she chose me. My character is all ready established very well and destroying him would... well, get me a LOT of questions and slaps upside the head. So... *sigh* the online world has kind of paled a bit this weekend as a result. Oh, I'll get over it.
Back to the real world... spent this weekend at Anime North, a big anime convention held here in Toronto every year. Yup, pictures will come. So we're talking ten to fifteen THOUSAND people. Most of 'em young enough to be my kid... many of 'em dressed skimpily [Thank Goddess for Japanese artists and their penchant for not drawing much clothing on their characters!] and a lot of 'em on a weekend long sugar high. I dressed up [cosplay], I attended the dances [meh], I worked the Weapons Check table [which is why I go, to help out a friend] and I had a pretty okay time. I'll be going to a few more this year. Anywho... so I'm there with two friends, one transplanted Quebecois and an ExPat East Coaster. Both great guys, both good friends, and both married. Now, there are some older ladies there... in the late 20 to mid 30 range, which is more of interest to me, and of course we older folk tend to gravitate towards each the other. Enter two gorgeous women dressed in outfits from the same series that we three guys are doing. Ensuing discusson. Hanging out happens. Walking around occurs. Of course all three of us are gentlemen, holding doors and offering arms for walking on grass [the girls were in HIGH heels] and the like. Of course the two married guys moved just a LITTLE bit faster. So I was pretty much cockblocked by two married friends who KNOW they're not out to get any, but who eat up the attention and the ego stroking. Of course they're both charming and intelligent and both know WAY more about anime than I do so... I came across the buffoon a little, methinks. I joked, 'cause it was easiest *sigh* As we dropped the ladies off before heading for dinner, I mentioned to both my friends that Karma WOULD indeed find them and punt them into next week. They really didn't care. There was more jocularity about how comfortable the wives were that their men flirt, but come home to them. I smiled and let them know that not only did I not get to flirt, but I was going home alone, and thank you muchly. And, to add, both of them are decently good looking guys.
I think I'm going to can the jokester, the smiling funny man I've been for... MMMmmm forever, and just aim for the quiet time. Not strong but silent, not quiet and brooding... just quiet. Might work with me a bit better *shrug*
So that has been my last few weeks. Even masturbation has gotten boring again. Of course spring is here, though it's not as bad as it usually is so... *shrug*
Now... I wonder what to write here going forward from today...
So... we've just passed the two year mark. Some of you'll know what I'm talking about. The rest can likely guess. But three parts, three things that I've thought about, revolving around three instances. Events. Circumstances. Whatever.
I was in Ottawa a few weeks back. Met a DJ friend of mine who suggested I need to check out a particular club. Heck, she'd go with me as it had been a while since she'd been dancing. And she'd bring her friend, Janice. Name did not clue me in. Yeah, I'm a guy so I'm dense. Janice is an ex of mine from about a dozen years ago. I didn't find it awkward... I had booze, music, people... but she did *shrug* So I did some thinking. I either see every one of my Exs, save two, for coffee or I see pictures now and again [thank you FaceBook!] and I've concluded that I date way above my station. I fuck girls that a guy like me shouldn't. Young, hot and intelligent. And all my Exs are STILL hot and intelligent. All of them still look good. Damned good. And of course they're intelligent... they all gave up on me *heh* Except the last two, all of 'em have married the next guy that came along after I did so... I'm a practice guy, obviously. And though I have high quality Exs, quantity is low. Thinking back, usually takes about four years or so between each relationship so I'm about halfway or so to the next one. Only two more years to wait *sigh*
As offline, so it shall be online. In the 'I can't win' category, there are a couple of online places I wander. I'm on a new Fetish site but can't remember the URL so I haven't been back there, though I'm told it's good. Like MySpace for the kinky set. Wait... Fetlife. That's it. I'll go there tonight. Craigslist is okay, though I'm getting used to getting no answer back from my responses. I'm near to putting up an advert myself saying "So what IS wrong with this picture?" and looking for advice from the women who read it. And yeah, I do know women read the casual section of Craigslist, several have told me. Though they usually read to get a laugh. Well, hell, I'm laughing lately. But that's an aside. I've mentioned that I spend time on an adult, bdsm oriented MUSH [text adventure like WoW or EverCrack but without the pretty graphics]. Yes, about half the female characters are male players [and strangely a good chunk of the boys are played by grrls...] but I find a few of the rare, the intelligent, the interesting... now and again my interest is piqued. One caught my eye a few weeks ago. She's listed as "switch" but wasn't looking for a Dominant as much as someone strong and forceful to be an equal with... give or take a bit. Sure. 'Course, I'm dominant in ALL I do, so it creeps in. Logged in Thursday and she felt she had to introduce me to this guy... now, I clued in when I was introduced as the "sorta online boyfriend" and he was introduced as the "master of". MMmmmmm yup, from the first words I knew where it was going. Of course neither of us is into sharing... I'm not big on being the OTHER GUY lately [AKA: The ONE WHO WAITS or HE WHO FILLS IN FOR]. So I bowed out. He also cheated... he stated he'd just destroy his character if she chose me. My character is all ready established very well and destroying him would... well, get me a LOT of questions and slaps upside the head. So... *sigh* the online world has kind of paled a bit this weekend as a result. Oh, I'll get over it.
Back to the real world... spent this weekend at Anime North, a big anime convention held here in Toronto every year. Yup, pictures will come. So we're talking ten to fifteen THOUSAND people. Most of 'em young enough to be my kid... many of 'em dressed skimpily [Thank Goddess for Japanese artists and their penchant for not drawing much clothing on their characters!] and a lot of 'em on a weekend long sugar high. I dressed up [cosplay], I attended the dances [meh], I worked the Weapons Check table [which is why I go, to help out a friend] and I had a pretty okay time. I'll be going to a few more this year. Anywho... so I'm there with two friends, one transplanted Quebecois and an ExPat East Coaster. Both great guys, both good friends, and both married. Now, there are some older ladies there... in the late 20 to mid 30 range, which is more of interest to me, and of course we older folk tend to gravitate towards each the other. Enter two gorgeous women dressed in outfits from the same series that we three guys are doing. Ensuing discusson. Hanging out happens. Walking around occurs. Of course all three of us are gentlemen, holding doors and offering arms for walking on grass [the girls were in HIGH heels] and the like. Of course the two married guys moved just a LITTLE bit faster. So I was pretty much cockblocked by two married friends who KNOW they're not out to get any, but who eat up the attention and the ego stroking. Of course they're both charming and intelligent and both know WAY more about anime than I do so... I came across the buffoon a little, methinks. I joked, 'cause it was easiest *sigh* As we dropped the ladies off before heading for dinner, I mentioned to both my friends that Karma WOULD indeed find them and punt them into next week. They really didn't care. There was more jocularity about how comfortable the wives were that their men flirt, but come home to them. I smiled and let them know that not only did I not get to flirt, but I was going home alone, and thank you muchly. And, to add, both of them are decently good looking guys.
I think I'm going to can the jokester, the smiling funny man I've been for... MMMmmm forever, and just aim for the quiet time. Not strong but silent, not quiet and brooding... just quiet. Might work with me a bit better *shrug*
So that has been my last few weeks. Even masturbation has gotten boring again. Of course spring is here, though it's not as bad as it usually is so... *shrug*
Now... I wonder what to write here going forward from today...