If Fred thought that his look softened at the sight of her, she was sadly mistaken. Wesley had not forgotten what the woman had told him at the hospital when he had no means to defend himself. Hardly fair. And just like the others she, too, had turned her back on him.
In fact, they only showed up when they needed his help again. Sure, then he was good enough, when the rest couldn't figure it out. Otherwise all he got was shunned, hated and glared it. Never again. It was his life now and no one, not even his so called former friends were going to ruin it.
Just out of spite he almost wished Lilah would just walk out in nothing but his shirt on. But that would make matters more complicated no doubt. Oh well, they couldn't possibly hate him *more*, could they.
Keeping his expression stoic and hard on purpose, he gave Fred a look which made it all to clear she had better hurry and tell what she wanted or he was going to close the door again. What he hadn't expected was her coming to tell him about Cordelia. Who did they think had done all the damn research for the seer who never even bothered to come see him?
"I know," he rasped, his voice never the same again after that wench had cut his vocal cords long with his throat. Well, Wesley knew she was back. He hadn't know his former best friend had lost her memories.
"So she got clean slate. A whole fresh new start. That must be nice," he said bitterly, shifting as he leaned against the doorway. "That still doesn't explain why you are here. Why would I care if Cordelia is back?"
Lies, of course. Otherwise he would not have bothered with the frantic research when both she and Angel had gone missing. But who was going to notice or even say that?
Lilah was getting dressed in her own clothes, but otherwise it would be obvious what they had been up to earlier before Fred had shown up. She didn't know what to think about actually sleeping over here. It was too 'familiar' for her, but she had done it and actually enjoyed it just the same. She had figured that Fred had come over for some sort of help that 'Angel and the gang' couldn't figure out. When she heard them talking, she realized that it was just that.
She had finished dressing while Wes said something about 'Cordelia getting a clean slate' with her memory. Well isn't that nice? The girl had lost her memory. This place was a regular soap opera. If someone ended up with a long lost twin, she was moving to New York City in three seconds flat. She could only take so much drama, even if she was oh so good at stirring it up herself.
Dressed, but her hair still mussed, Lilah smiled and walked out of the bedroom door. Oh, Wes would probably be pissed that his former crush would get to see who he was sleeping with now, but that was part of the fun, wasn't it? Giving a slight glance in Wes's direction before turning her attention to Fred, she gave the girl a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Fred, how...interesting to see you here," she said. "Thought you told Wes to never come back. Figured that went both ways with you not coming over here anymore, either." She chuckled. "And shouldn't you all be so lucky as to get a memory wipe?"
Fred's nervous expression fell to that of disappointment. She knew Cordelia and Wesley had been best friends. And if Wesley had cared enough to find Angel at the bottom of the ocean, why wouldn't he care about Cordelia?
"She's not exactly thrilled at the fresh start," she said quietly, but before she could answer his next question, a very big surprise walked into the room. Lilah? What was she doing--oh. She noticed the other woman had emerged from the bedroom with messy hair. Now that she noticed, Wesley looked a little ruffled as well.
She bit back any expression to betrayed her true feelings. This was Wesley's life. He could sleep with whomever he wanted--no matter how many times she tried to kill them all in the past and how she was probably using him to get back at all of them somehow. She suddenly felt nauseated.
"N-nice to see you, too," she said to the other woman, mustering up all the strength she had in her voice. She ignored her next comments and turned her attention back to Wesley, "I just thought that since Cordelia was back you might know of a way to help bring her memory back. She's really straining without it. Especially since she has no where else to go."
If Wesley had been able to read Fred's mind, he'd have been furious. How could the girl presume that the former watcher *didn't* care about Cordelia? Bloody hell. He'd been the one to find her, he'd been the one to give the information on how to help Cordelia to Angel. He'd been... of course Angel wouldn't mention that part.
No. Wesley still the outcase. The one who mucked things up. Never mind his motives or the fact that he thought his friends, his family, knew him well enough. Knew him well enough not to think that he would just... hand Connor over to Holtz. That he would just simply let Angel rot on the bottom of the sea. That he would just not care about Cordelia in the slighted.
Everytime he dealt with is former friend he ended up furious. He was going to have some sort of attack at this rate.
"Really?" Wesley observed, the bitterness creeping into his voice, "most people would kill for a second chance." He shifted on his feet as Fred kept on talking and eventually raised an eyebrow.
"Tell me Fred," he rasped, the vocal cords of his voice never fully healed, "Why is it you are all shunning and judging me until you need someone to clean up your shit. Then all of a sudden you all can find me. Why is that?" he asked, deliberately using a words Fred wouldn't expect the old Wesley to use.
Of course that Wesley had actually bled to death in that park. Gone forever.
Lilah gave a slight sigh when Fred started to go into again that Cordelia needed help. “You people certainly were doing fine enough without Wes when you pushed him away from your little group. Why do you only come to him when you have some problem that you’re too stupid to solve on your own?” Lilah honestly believed that they had used him for his intelligence before. When he stopped being the old predictable Wes, they tossed him aside.
Of course, their relationship had started because she wanted to use him. She certainly wasn’t completely guilt free of such a thing. The difference with Lilah was that she was completely honest with him as far as the start of their ‘relationship’ went. It was only now that it seemed to be edging into more ‘grey’ territory. She personally wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Then Wes said just what she had, only far less diplomatically than she had. Lilah’s natural diplomacy when speaking, even when she was saying something crushing, had come from her years of double talk as a lawyer. She had perfected it into a true art form at this point. She had far more problems being open and honest, actually.
She simply gave Fred a slight smile when Wes made his point bluntly and succinctly. She was actually kind of impressed. It was part of why she liked this ‘version’ of him. She thought that it was closer to who he truly was than the person he had acted like before. Of course, this was just her opinion. Not that it mattered to him, she was sure.
Fred sighed inaudibly. She was truly in a no-win situation here. Wesley was clearly in no mood to help, not that she blamed him. Not at all. He deserved to be forever pissed at them. But at the same time, he should have come to them and told them his fears before all the horribleness happened. Yet, the past was past and nothing could change it. She just wished things were different.
She didn't have the right answer or any answer.
"Lilah, this has nothing to do with you, especially since I'm sure you'd rather see Cordelia dead than back with us all." She bit back a few choice comments, most of which were 'shut your mouth.' Being openly angry with his sleeping buddy was just going to make matters worse.
She shook her head, glancing at Wesley, "Look, I've forgiven you for what happened, even though I'm sure that doesn't mean anything to you," she said, "I just thought you should know about Cordelia, is all. You don't have to help if you don't want to. But, you could have that fresh start with her; she doesn't remember you or anything that happened. And if you helped, she'd probably want you to come back and help more. Not that you even want to." And she'd undoubtedly convince Angel that he was being an idiot for shunning his best friend.
She turned to leave, "I won't bother you again. I just thought you should know and I thought you might help Cordelia, if anyone."
The words spoken by Lilah hit the nail right on the head. They were quick to cast Wesley aside like dirt. But if they found themselves in a pickle and needed out? /Then/ he was suddenly good enough of to ask. Both Gunn and Angel had already done so. Gunn for Fred. Angel for Cordy.
And to have Fred standing here accusing him of not wanting to help? When he, on both occasions had done so? It made a painful hit home to the fact that /nothing/ had changed. They all still assumed the worst of him.
Where that had gotten from he had no idea. Before the whole Connor debacle, and he had over analysed this, he had done /nothing/ for them to treat him this way. That they were doing so now only made him realise how much all those friend ships had been based on lies.
"I don't need your forgiveness," he rasped, giving Fred a cold look. "And I don't need a second chance with any of you. There has been a time for that and that time has passed a long time ago.
He watched leave with ice-blue eyes. "Let me repeat what I told Gunn, since it seems you lot are hard of hearing. Don't come back here again. Any of you. I'm done being used as everyone's punching bag and convenient scape goat. I've helped you all enough. It's time you started to learn to stand on your own feet."
And without even giving her a chance to reply - after all they hadn't given /him/ a chance to explain either- he closed to the door on her and locked it. Almost symbolical in a way, as if he was trying to lock her and his past out.
Other than Angel, Lilah simply didn’t care if any of them were alive or not. Due to her work with the firm, she was supposed to keep Angel alive, even though she had tried to kill him a time or twelve in the past. Of course, he had repaid that favor several times as well. And yet, here they all were, still alive. “I’d have to care to want her dead, Fred,” Lilah said simply to her.
Lilah smiled when Wes told her that he didn’t need their forgiveness. That was something that she wanted to hear, for many reasons. Work wise, it meant that he was a step closer to where the firm wanted him, working with them. For a more personal reason, in her eyes, it showed that he had grown up and realized that he didn’t need them. They had needed him, and they had pissed it away because they were too stupid to realize what they had. She did realize what he was truly worth. Maybe he’d eventually realize it, too.
She’d never voice those ideas out loud, though. That was admitting too much in the way of feelings for her taste. Just because she didn’t say it out loud didn’t mean that she didn’t feel it, though. She actually had a bit of a look of pride on her face when he told Fred off again and slammed the door on her. Lilah managed to get a little wave in Fred’s direction before he did so, just to rub it in a little.
Instead of saying anything to him after he slammed the door, she simply gave him a smile and turned and headed back to the bedroom. Sometimes actions spoke much louder than words.
In fact, they only showed up when they needed his help again. Sure, then he was good enough, when the rest couldn't figure it out. Otherwise all he got was shunned, hated and glared it. Never again. It was his life now and no one, not even his so called former friends were going to ruin it.
Just out of spite he almost wished Lilah would just walk out in nothing but his shirt on. But that would make matters more complicated no doubt. Oh well, they couldn't possibly hate him *more*, could they.
Keeping his expression stoic and hard on purpose, he gave Fred a look which made it all to clear she had better hurry and tell what she wanted or he was going to close the door again. What he hadn't expected was her coming to tell him about Cordelia. Who did they think had done all the damn research for the seer who never even bothered to come see him?
"I know," he rasped, his voice never the same again after that wench had cut his vocal cords long with his throat. Well, Wesley knew she was back. He hadn't know his former best friend had lost her memories.
"So she got clean slate. A whole fresh new start. That must be nice," he said bitterly, shifting as he leaned against the doorway. "That still doesn't explain why you are here. Why would I care if Cordelia is back?"
Lies, of course. Otherwise he would not have bothered with the frantic research when both she and Angel had gone missing. But who was going to notice or even say that?
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She had finished dressing while Wes said something about 'Cordelia getting a clean slate' with her memory. Well isn't that nice? The girl had lost her memory. This place was a regular soap opera. If someone ended up with a long lost twin, she was moving to New York City in three seconds flat. She could only take so much drama, even if she was oh so good at stirring it up herself.
Dressed, but her hair still mussed, Lilah smiled and walked out of the bedroom door. Oh, Wes would probably be pissed that his former crush would get to see who he was sleeping with now, but that was part of the fun, wasn't it? Giving a slight glance in Wes's direction before turning her attention to Fred, she gave the girl a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Fred, how...interesting to see you here," she said. "Thought you told Wes to never come back. Figured that went both ways with you not coming over here anymore, either." She chuckled. "And shouldn't you all be so lucky as to get a memory wipe?"
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"She's not exactly thrilled at the fresh start," she said quietly, but before she could answer his next question, a very big surprise walked into the room. Lilah? What was she doing--oh. She noticed the other woman had emerged from the bedroom with messy hair. Now that she noticed, Wesley looked a little ruffled as well.
She bit back any expression to betrayed her true feelings. This was Wesley's life. He could sleep with whomever he wanted--no matter how many times she tried to kill them all in the past and how she was probably using him to get back at all of them somehow. She suddenly felt nauseated.
"N-nice to see you, too," she said to the other woman, mustering up all the strength she had in her voice. She ignored her next comments and turned her attention back to Wesley, "I just thought that since Cordelia was back you might know of a way to help bring her memory back. She's really straining without it. Especially since she has no where else to go."
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No. Wesley still the outcase. The one who mucked things up. Never mind his motives or the fact that he thought his friends, his family, knew him well enough. Knew him well enough not to think that he would just... hand Connor over to Holtz. That he would just simply let Angel rot on the bottom of the sea. That he would just not care about Cordelia in the slighted.
Everytime he dealt with is former friend he ended up furious. He was going to have some sort of attack at this rate.
"Really?" Wesley observed, the bitterness creeping into his voice, "most people would kill for a second chance." He shifted on his feet as Fred kept on talking and eventually raised an eyebrow.
"Tell me Fred," he rasped, the vocal cords of his voice never fully healed, "Why is it you are all shunning and judging me until you need someone to clean up your shit. Then all of a sudden you all can find me. Why is that?" he asked, deliberately using a words Fred wouldn't expect the old Wesley to use.
Of course that Wesley had actually bled to death in that park. Gone forever.
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Of course, their relationship had started because she wanted to use him. She certainly wasn’t completely guilt free of such a thing. The difference with Lilah was that she was completely honest with him as far as the start of their ‘relationship’ went. It was only now that it seemed to be edging into more ‘grey’ territory. She personally wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Then Wes said just what she had, only far less diplomatically than she had. Lilah’s natural diplomacy when speaking, even when she was saying something crushing, had come from her years of double talk as a lawyer. She had perfected it into a true art form at this point. She had far more problems being open and honest, actually.
She simply gave Fred a slight smile when Wes made his point bluntly and succinctly. She was actually kind of impressed. It was part of why she liked this ‘version’ of him. She thought that it was closer to who he truly was than the person he had acted like before. Of course, this was just her opinion. Not that it mattered to him, she was sure.
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She didn't have the right answer or any answer.
"Lilah, this has nothing to do with you, especially since I'm sure you'd rather see Cordelia dead than back with us all." She bit back a few choice comments, most of which were 'shut your mouth.' Being openly angry with his sleeping buddy was just going to make matters worse.
She shook her head, glancing at Wesley, "Look, I've forgiven you for what happened, even though I'm sure that doesn't mean anything to you," she said, "I just thought you should know about Cordelia, is all. You don't have to help if you don't want to. But, you could have that fresh start with her; she doesn't remember you or anything that happened. And if you helped, she'd probably want you to come back and help more. Not that you even want to." And she'd undoubtedly convince Angel that he was being an idiot for shunning his best friend.
She turned to leave, "I won't bother you again. I just thought you should know and I thought you might help Cordelia, if anyone."
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And to have Fred standing here accusing him of not wanting to help? When he, on both occasions had done so? It made a painful hit home to the fact that /nothing/ had changed. They all still assumed the worst of him.
Where that had gotten from he had no idea. Before the whole Connor debacle, and he had over analysed this, he had done /nothing/ for them to treat him this way. That they were doing so now only made him realise how much all those friend ships had been based on lies.
"I don't need your forgiveness," he rasped, giving Fred a cold look. "And I don't need a second chance with any of you. There has been a time for that and that time has passed a long time ago.
He watched leave with ice-blue eyes. "Let me repeat what I told Gunn, since it seems you lot are hard of hearing. Don't come back here again. Any of you. I'm done being used as everyone's punching bag and convenient scape goat. I've helped you all enough. It's time you started to learn to stand on your own feet."
And without even giving her a chance to reply - after all they hadn't given /him/ a chance to explain either- he closed to the door on her and locked it. Almost symbolical in a way, as if he was trying to lock her and his past out.
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Lilah smiled when Wes told her that he didn’t need their forgiveness. That was something that she wanted to hear, for many reasons. Work wise, it meant that he was a step closer to where the firm wanted him, working with them. For a more personal reason, in her eyes, it showed that he had grown up and realized that he didn’t need them. They had needed him, and they had pissed it away because they were too stupid to realize what they had. She did realize what he was truly worth. Maybe he’d eventually realize it, too.
She’d never voice those ideas out loud, though. That was admitting too much in the way of feelings for her taste. Just because she didn’t say it out loud didn’t mean that she didn’t feel it, though. She actually had a bit of a look of pride on her face when he told Fred off again and slammed the door on her. Lilah managed to get a little wave in Fred’s direction before he did so, just to rub it in a little.
Instead of saying anything to him after he slammed the door, she simply gave him a smile and turned and headed back to the bedroom. Sometimes actions spoke much louder than words.
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