(no subject)
I know the things I want, but some how they just dont fit into my life plan. Given, I know that makes no sense, considering its my life. But there are decisions that have been lingering in my head for months now, and they just feel like they get more intense every day. I'm running away from things that are to hard, because I'm content with where I'm at, and denying the fact that I could be happier. Things are just grinding at the gears right now, and I'm not sure how to fix them anymore. But even thoughts of different plans, different from what I have been fitting together for years now, make my stomach shrink, and put tears in my eyes. Things are not the same anymore, I'm not the same anymore. I'm scared of things I can't completely plan out and follow, and throwing things to the wind is something I have a very hard time doing. There are also things I know I do still want, but am scared to try to attempt them without the other half/two-thirds of what I keep feeling like needs to be changed. When do I know I'm right? When do I know I need to follow what my head keeps telling me...instead of my heart. I'm scared and I don't want to go at this alone.