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Spring Break is almost over and I still didn't do any of my homework.
I thought of starting it today, that is why I am procrastinating now, in a good way though, to write about what i WANT to write for my English essay.
The hardest part about these essays is finding WHAT exactly interested you on the book we read and then getting an idea and developing it.
The last book we read is called The Snow Walker.
It is a pretty boring book, they only talk about snow, and snow...and eskimos, and eating raw deer meat (sometimes bitter dog meat when they were desperate).... and some more about snow.
I was desperate... trying to find a topic.
But then, during one of my emo moments..the light bulb turned on...
The book is made up of 12 short stories about snow and eskimos, but the thing that all of them have in common is companionship.
All of those people remained together at all times, they needed each other phisically, emotionally... Which led me to think.. Why do humans NEED relationships? We all NEED someone.
And this all started a long time ago...during creation with Adam and Eve and every animal, every living thing. They all had a friend, a lover, a companion.
NOW, to the point of this post... I was searching online for some quotes, ideas, information to make my idea develop and grow into something deeper. That is when i found this text, which i thought was interesting..and can help us be better "companions":
Love is a Verb and Not a Noun
By Richard Boyum
UW-Eau Claire Counseling Services
Joseph Campbell, the mythologist, said that for human relationships to grow and sustain themselves, they must be at the center of our experiencing. This is not an easy task in a highly mobile and productive society. Yet, what polls show is that what people prize most are their close, interpersonal relationships. Humans do need to believe in something bigger than themselves and relationships are their top choice. While e-mail, post its, cards, letters, and phone calls help, it is face-to-face that real human experiences occur. In face-to-face relationships we are in real time. We can see, hear, taste and smell those who are with us. While each of us needs some solitude, it is the lack of intimacy and isolation that, both literally and figuratively, kill the human body and the human spirit. Each person in a relationship needs to create their own set of healthy habits to keep their relationships at the center of their lives. For starters, consider these five ideas.
- Choose time together over material gifts. It is in so doing that material gifts will remind you of the giver.
- Never stop dating. On a weekly basis find something to do that puts your focus on dating with each other rather than fulfilling your other obligations. Based on the circumstances of your lives, you can decide how that date takes place and what will occur.
- Set aside regular times to be together. Each week use this time to talk with each other about your lives, concerns and relationship. The word with is important here. You are to talk with each other, not to or at. The right preposition makes a big difference in the quality of your conversation. Think of this time as "show and tell" for adults.
- Stay in touch. The largest organ of the human body is our skin. Structure determines function. We need to touch and to be touched. Decide with each other when and what kind of touching keeps your relationship at the center of your lives. Sometimes it may be a "romantic connection" and sometimes it may be a hand rub or simply sitting side-by-side.
- Know the difference between forgiving and forgetting. Go figure, couples that experience a lot of years together make mistakes. But couples that stay together have learned to travel light. They leave their baggage from their families, with their families and they let go and learn form mistakes that are part of the human experience.
- Trust the relationship until mistrust is warranted. Too many times people worry about a good thing going bad when the relationship is just fine. (Remember that perfection is a trap.) Enjoy it! If the two of you are communicating and if you trust yourself, it will be easier to trust your partner in the relationship.
- Remember that love is a verb and not a noun. If your behavior doesn't show it, you really don't know it. Hence, do numbers one through six to keep love in activity rather than something that sits on the shelf.
- Finally, consider developing a mutually agreed upon mission statement for your relationship. This statement is based on both your values and your goals. As a couple you can decide what steps must be taken to fulfill the mission of your relationship. When things in life get crazy, referring back to your mission statement will help you find the center of your relationship and your life. Remember that every hurricane has a clam center.
So if you have taken the time to read this, whom will you share it with? If you take the time to talk about what is written here, guess what…at least for the moment, your relationship is at the center of your experience. How does it feel?