in San Diego
I moved. I started over. I've got three parties booked. And i'm fighting a depressive slump. Getting out of the house seems to be something that's only warranted for swing dancing. Am I a bad person for thinking that it's a good idea to let my ex. husband's fiancee take care of Connor? She's pregnant again.
Life is fabulous. This has nothing to do with the life around me. Everything just feels muted, and there are very few times that I feel like coming alive. When I'm marketing for the business, when I'm dancing, and when I'm with a certain person.
On the subject of failing in love...I think everyone who knows me knows that I have an issue with relationships. I tend to work myself into situations so that I fall for someone I convince myself i have NO chance of getting, and then I pine for them but don't tell them. Gag. At least, that would have been the guy who I ended up running to whenever my home life was bad. Todd Dahman(sp?) I ran into someone a few years back who randomly knew him....someone I met dancing. He talks about me. I'm this stalker chick he knew. Oops.
Then there was Kurt, who I dated on and off for five years. I wouldn't let him in, even though he knew me, I convinced myself he didn't. I convinced myself that he was stupid and there was nothing to talk about. Not to mention the people I randomly kissed because I've always loved kissing, and I refused to have a connection with someone for long enough to care.
the people who I consider loves of my life are the people who were briefly in my life. well, maybe not briefly in all cases, but we only dated briefly. in all cases, I think i may have figured out the art of talking myself out of love. Sometimes it takes two months, sometimes it takes years. So why can't i explain how I know that I've fallen for someone? I told them.
Life is fabulous. This has nothing to do with the life around me. Everything just feels muted, and there are very few times that I feel like coming alive. When I'm marketing for the business, when I'm dancing, and when I'm with a certain person.
On the subject of failing in love...I think everyone who knows me knows that I have an issue with relationships. I tend to work myself into situations so that I fall for someone I convince myself i have NO chance of getting, and then I pine for them but don't tell them. Gag. At least, that would have been the guy who I ended up running to whenever my home life was bad. Todd Dahman(sp?) I ran into someone a few years back who randomly knew him....someone I met dancing. He talks about me. I'm this stalker chick he knew. Oops.
Then there was Kurt, who I dated on and off for five years. I wouldn't let him in, even though he knew me, I convinced myself he didn't. I convinced myself that he was stupid and there was nothing to talk about. Not to mention the people I randomly kissed because I've always loved kissing, and I refused to have a connection with someone for long enough to care.
the people who I consider loves of my life are the people who were briefly in my life. well, maybe not briefly in all cases, but we only dated briefly. in all cases, I think i may have figured out the art of talking myself out of love. Sometimes it takes two months, sometimes it takes years. So why can't i explain how I know that I've fallen for someone? I told them.