Definitions, Roles, Interpretations, Expectations, Image, Identity, Reputation...Digressions
I've been meaning to post about this for weeks. It came to me that I had not yet done so when I was at 2101 last Saturday and Gavinsca introduced me to someone as a martial arts guru within the scene. This tossed me into a bit of mental quandry.
You can define yourself by what you do. You can define yourself by what you believe. You cannot make others intrepet what you do to be accurate in regards to what you believe you do. You may be kidding yourself when you think you're doing one thing, but are actually doing another.
Who have I been?
Who am I now?
Who am I trying to be?
I still consider myself a martial artist. I think it's kind of like being a mother fucker. Once you've fucked a mother, you're always a mother fucker. So, since I've been a martial artist, unless I completely renounce those ways(not likely), I always will be.
I have a file in my head for each of the people I know. Included in this file is a small summary of information about this person that I would feel comfortable sharing with perfect strangers. ie
Neil
American Brother
Seven years younger than I am
Closer to the American Sisters than I am
Is a geek/nerd
Was an MP in Italy
Resembles me in some ways, but is more stable
So, it has become apparent that my file in other people's heads includes, probably in capital letters, "MARTIAL ARTIST." Well, when someone I doesn't know asks me where I study, and I give them the new answer of I don't attend a school, no one's gotten bent or given me hinky vibes, so that's good. Of course, I feel a little weird calling myself a martial artist with no school. Just think how those old black knights and ronin felt. Yikes.
I have relinquished the role of martial arts teacher for awhile. I have too much to do in other realms and matters.
All things will come when ready. The world makes a way.
I will go to all things when ready. I have laid some groundwork, but am uncertain of what to do next.
Sorry, not terribly deep. Just musings I have to work through and with.
You can define yourself by what you do. You can define yourself by what you believe. You cannot make others intrepet what you do to be accurate in regards to what you believe you do. You may be kidding yourself when you think you're doing one thing, but are actually doing another.
Who have I been?
Who am I now?
Who am I trying to be?
I still consider myself a martial artist. I think it's kind of like being a mother fucker. Once you've fucked a mother, you're always a mother fucker. So, since I've been a martial artist, unless I completely renounce those ways(not likely), I always will be.
I have a file in my head for each of the people I know. Included in this file is a small summary of information about this person that I would feel comfortable sharing with perfect strangers. ie
Neil
American Brother
Seven years younger than I am
Closer to the American Sisters than I am
Is a geek/nerd
Was an MP in Italy
Resembles me in some ways, but is more stable
So, it has become apparent that my file in other people's heads includes, probably in capital letters, "MARTIAL ARTIST." Well, when someone I doesn't know asks me where I study, and I give them the new answer of I don't attend a school, no one's gotten bent or given me hinky vibes, so that's good. Of course, I feel a little weird calling myself a martial artist with no school. Just think how those old black knights and ronin felt. Yikes.
I have relinquished the role of martial arts teacher for awhile. I have too much to do in other realms and matters.
All things will come when ready. The world makes a way.
I will go to all things when ready. I have laid some groundwork, but am uncertain of what to do next.
Sorry, not terribly deep. Just musings I have to work through and with.