(no subject)
So...I had a pretty crappy weekend. I don't know what's wrong with me...but, I was kind of depressed all weekend. I couldn't stop crying on Friday, but I don't know what I was crying about!! Maybe I'm just going crazy in the head?? I think that I'm really just kind of lonely. It's like, I've come back to LA after living in Riverside for such a long time, and all of a sudden I've realized that my friends don't really need me all that much anymore, cause they have friendships that thye've built while I was gone. And, I'm trying to tag along with them, and incorporate myself into this new scene, but ti's not working so well. Only Lena seems to be really trying to have me hang out. But, Ami acts all weird, and it feels like she goes out of her way to make sure I'm not included in things. I don't know...maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I had my sister, and she and I did everything together since I've been able enough to do things. But, now she's back together with her ex-boyfriend, and she doesn't need me anymore either. She's always with him, and I can come along if I want to. But, the plans we had..they've all fallen through. And...meeting boys right now is kind of hard. I guess I still feel kinda crippled, being on a cane. So, my self-esteem isn't so high. But, being single is kind of cool. I can just sit around the house and watch movies and not worry about some guy not wanting to do that. Although..if a guy didn't want to do that, then he's lame anyway! :-) I called Nate on Friday, cause I was all bummed, and talking to him makes me happy. But, he didn't answer and didn't call me back. It's funny...I hate talking on the phone, unless it's to him. We just have some random and fun conversations. And as long as I don't bring up him coming out to LA, it's usually good times. But, as soon as I bring that kind of stuff up, or mention him in a way other than purely friendly, he gets all weirded out. It's just a harmless crush. I mean...seriously harmless. He lives a million miles away. So pointless. But, I just can't help feeling that he's such a great guy. It's hard to know him and not like him. Well...for me anyway. Oh well.