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[wildcolumbine]

THE OUTLAND

Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17 for m/m sex and language
Feedback: Any and all is welcome
Disclaimer: These are Annie Proulx's brilliant original characters and her story, and I have treated it and them (and her) with as much respect as I can muster. And I have no intention of sending her a copy :)

This story is for Canstandit, with thanks for her

Comments

[brokeback1963]

This sure is a rollercoaster, a very emotional intense ride. Powerful writing from start to end. I try every time to not be overwhelmed with emotions but it’s totally impossible. This always hits me deeply…**sigh**

This is my favorite part of the chapter. I’ve read it about six times or more. I’ve always said that Jack felt devotion to Ennis, just pure adoration, and this bit got me breathless, because for me, THIS is Jack, the real Jack, and the force of his blind love just punches me over and over. It’s the most beautiful thing ever, sacred and endless.

**
"I may not be there to see you walk up the aisle with your girl but I want a know that my man is the best-lookin feller in that church." What he didn't say, for fear Ennis would flee from the store and never come back, was that the color drew out the gold flecks in his beloved's eyes, that those untidy greying locks looked like sun-blessed meadows, that his weathered face glowed with an inner light, that Jack would happily fall on his knees right there in the midst of the customers and staff, and worship this man whom he adored.
**

Rob’s reaction is totally credible and I understand his pain. The poor kid thought that his father never wanted him, and you know, friends, that it’s true. In spite of all my love for my Jack, I have to agree with Rob….Jack never wanted Rob. Truth is that later he learned to love him and he took care of Rob much better than Lureen, but Jack said in the SS that he never wanted kids….and he was more than ready to leave him anytime to be with Ennis….For a son that’s a very horrible thing….
But then, I understand Jack’s frustration when he was trying to make Rob understand his love for Ennis. I especially like this part of their conversation because it shows what it’s for me one of the causes of homophobia: people can’t understand that love is love, the very same feeling, no matter if you are a woman or a man, if you love to someone of your gender or someone of the other one; lust, pain, despair, love it’s always the same thing!! But lots of people can’t not even imagine how such a thing could be possible….

**
Rob, you and Ellen, you know what it feels like to want a be with someone all a the time, like you can't breathe unless you're with them." He brought his hands to his chest, the exquisite pain of twenty lonely years slicing unexpectedly through his heart.

"But she's a girl, it's not the same thing!"

"But it is the same, that's the point!
**

[brokeback1963]

I was still so lost in Jack-Rob’s confrontation and Ennis-Lureen’s confrontation that I didn’t see that coming, and sure was a sucker punch. I just can’t believe Lureen said this…I mean, I know she’s very
hurt….I can’t imagine my pain if one day I find out that my boy’s love for me had never ended because it NEVER was there…..that all what I believed in was only a lie. But….one thing is bitching and shouting and all that stuff…..but how can someone say to another human being that it’d have be better if he/she had died? Well, at least I can NOT say that…not ever. It’s just infinitely cruel. And then she said that Ennis only might miss Jack for a “while”, and then, again, that impossibility of lots of people to understand that gay love is real, tangible and possible, when she asked what the hell did he know about love…**sad sigh**
I cried with that bit. I know she was mad and confused and hurt, but still it tore me to the shreds.
Jack was still so nice to hold her in his arms, and I’m glad she shared that cold chili with them, and even smiled weakly to Jack. I know they are never gonna be friends, but maybe it’s better like this; it’s very realistic.
And I’m so proud of Ennis here, not running away but holding Jack, trying to help him, trying to shut Lureen up.
I breathed again when Rod asked where he could find them…..Thanks God.

My second favorite part of the chapter is this one. Totally precious and moving. Love the tender Outland’s Ennis.

**
And he should have been concentrating on his little girl but the memories were flooding back, Jack and him and a midnight feast, words exchanged, declarations of love made, two lives imperceptibly shifting at last from grey uncertainty into the light. A sudden and terrifying urge welled within him to stand up there and then and declare, before this congregation, that he too had someone to love and cherish even unto death. Instead, he dropped his head and mouthed his pledge: Jack, I swear -- although he didn't have the words to finish it, for how do you encompass your gratitude for the gift of life, for the return of your own soul, in mere words? The few folks who noticed his shining eyes thought how lovely it was to see the tough cowboy shedding a tear or two for his daughter on her big day.
**

Again, I’m marveled at this Ennis. He has learned a lot, right? He’s braver than ever and I’m so so very glad for that. I smiled so wide when he said to Alma that he loved Jack..**claps wildly**

I’m glad our boys have a work, a roof over their heads (and only for them..) and that Junior is so caring and understanding.

The ending is PERFECT. I mean it. I was so happy reading that after all that hurt and sadness. It’s amazing how the tiniest things can mean a whole world for us when someone puts the heart in it. These are more than two pieces of cake, and they know it.

**
There were two pieces. Alma had handed him two pieces.
**

Brilliant gorgeous chapter, as always.

I'm so sorry I don't comment much here but I always write a very long post about every new chapter at Ennisjack.com. Thank you so much.
Lots of love.

Tammy.