(Untitled)

[wildcolumbine]

THE OUTLAND

Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17
Feedback: Any and all is welcome
Disclaimer: These are Annie Proulx's brilliant original characters and her story, and I have treated it and them (and her) with as much respect as I can muster.
This story is for Canstandit.

THE OUTLAND, CHAPTER 6

In 1916, Henry Charles Twist, five feet four and twenty years old,

Comments

[rdg64]

This was a completely captivating, fulfilling read. I am very attached to your story and with every chapter it becomes even richer. The opening was so good and sure packed a punch with this:

leaving two dirty shirts behind but taking a broken heart with him,

Bobby/Rob's POV was simply a wonderful read and offered so much to the story: the story of this boy and who he is, a strikingly realistic take on POV in general (the meandering thoughts, the putting together of pieces, the seeing some things and not others). Best of all he is not a caricature of a boy his age -- he is sometimes smug, sometimes thoughtful, sometimes clueless, sometimes perceptive, sometimes witty, sometimes bored, not a goody-good but not a lazy-ass, willing to give work a try. And you write so well that this whole time for him was simultaneously trying to see who his dad is, who Ennis is, what Bumfuck, Wyoming is, while also trying to understand his past. And he is not on some grand mission to do those things, it's simply two weeks in a boy's life that get him thinking. Just wonderful.

And as good as it is to know this boy, the best thing is that what he sees, -- even if he doesn't totally get what's going on with his dad and Ennis (although he does in some ways) -- show the reader SO much about the relationship they have settled into, with stuff like seeing them trade their insults, and huddling together, and:

how Ennis stays close, just in case. He's kind of funny that way, like a mother hen fussing over her chicks.

LOL that Ennis's own room doesn't smell like him!

You have your own voice which does not try to recreate AP, but blends with the kind of language of the OS. There are such great canon-inspired words, and so much great stuff that is all yours. I'd be going on all day if I listed favorite parts! Thanks so much for your story!

[rdg64]

As much as I have already gone on, I have to say that this was hilarious:

"Dad reckons Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid used to hang around these parts. I always figured they had that Etta girl as the love interest in that film so that no-one got the wrong idea about two pretty cowboys keeping each other company, but I never told Dad that because I didn't want to ruin one of his favorite movies."

[wildcolumbine]

Lovely comment. Thank you. The fact that it was just two weeks in a boy's life made it so easy to write. It was a pleasure to think as Bobby for a change.